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Find a lost friend and lose your dad in the process....Nice!
- Jan 26, 2009 at 10:38 AM
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- Comments (26) Total Views (627) Everyone can see this journal post.
Finally! After over twelve years of looking, I found her. My best friend from high school. We were honestly inseparable. Until she and her family moved to Kansas.
After less that a week after joining Face-book, she and I reconnected. And here I tried all other avenues and never got anywhere.
After my friend wrote me back, I called my dad to let him know the good news. The last time they spoke was about six months after I moved to Virginia.
What I assumed to be a pleasant conversation with my father turned down hill really fast.
It seems that he had seen an ad on the television or something. It was for Reno's Saint Mary's Hospital in Nevada. They have a new laser technology to use to laser out tumors and what-not.
Then it was said and I about wanted to smack the phone upside my dad's head.
He wants me to call these people and explain that my son has mental disorders and ask if they can "help" him with this new laser treatment.
Yes folks, my father wants my son to have doctors across the country to use a laser on my kid's brain in hopes of "curing" his chemical imbalances.
Now, after "hearing him out" as I had promised, I once again went in to the explanation that what his grandson has is not curable and that there is no surgery or "easy fix". That these were genetically within him, passed down from family members. And that it is a chemical imbalance in the brain.
Of course, my dad is getting mad at me because I tell him that I call and "explain" all this and ask if the laser will help, that the person on the other end will just laugh in my ear as they hang up on me.
Plus, I would have to take him across country and take him there. They won't do ANYTHING over the phone like that! And I tried to explain this to my father.
Next thing I know, my own dad throws my DEAD mother at me....Saying that I am just like her...Hard-headed and stubborn. Oh, and that I gave up on my kid too easily.
Excuse me?!?! For one, who was the real hard-head during this conversation? And who said I am giving up? Plus, if my mom gave up so easily, then why in the hell am I still alive and independent, not sitting in an institution or laying in a pine box as my doctors told my mother will need or most likely will happen?
Plus, I was feeling sick to my stomach. And I said to the affect that I need to get off the phone because I was feeling ill again. He had the gall to say that the phone conversation was making him sick.
Because he refused to listen to me and I refused to not be heard. So, he hung up on me.
Nice.
Talk to you whenever, Daddy. Thanks for the vote of confidence and reassurance. I'm glad that you see it the way it is.
Honestly, I have accepted my child the way he is and his problems. Too bad you can't do the same.
Until you can come around, and you realize I'm not that disabled little "miracle" girl anymore with a child of her own with Special Needs who knows the deal and accepts him for WHO he is, I guess there is nothing more to say.
Sad.
Comments:
Awww, hun. That was jsut really nonsense. Such an awful thing for him to say to you.....all of it.
Bryce is beautiful. And I know (so do all of your friends here) that you have NOT given up on him. You go above and beyond fighting FOR him.
One day I hope that your father will see him for the beautiful guy he is. But until then, Bryce is blessed to have YOU for his momma.
Oh and YAY, on finding your friend!!! ;o)
UGH Your dad and my mom sound so much alike. Until my mother had to deal with my 16 yr old for weeks on end by herself she was not aware of how bad he could get. He had acted up here and the psychiatrist called the law and he was sent to live with my mom. It has always been MY fault but she refuses to see the very traits of hers he displays as do I . I am so sorry your father is such a pain, let it go, Bryce is better off right now without someone in his life making him feel like that. And you as well.
Congrats on finding your friend hun.
Like my step-mom said to me, he saw the "miracle" happen with me, so, in his mind a miracle cure can happen for Bryce.
My problems were not caused by genetics. They were caused by being next to a 50 pound tumor in my mother while she was pregnant with me. It caused my inability to not expel the fluids from my lungs (no room to "breath out").
In turn, I received a collapsed lung and a esophageal fistula (separation of the esophageal tract).
Those were things that were able to be corrected with medical intervention (surgery) and cured so to speak. But, I still required many medicines, a trach in my throat and different types of therapies.
If I was born one year prior (in 75), then I would have surly been dead. I was one of the very first newborns in 1976 to survive with a tracheotomy.
ya know. ```Grandparents are really bad at accepting these things. My nephew is 13 and just this past summer after spending a couple days with my Dad and his wife did they finally realize tat we were not all full of it when we told them what was going on. Teddy has bi-polar disorder with borderline schizophrenia. it is heartbreaking to watch him and try to help him, while also trying to be there for the other kids and protect them. until they live it they will never understand. But how he talked to you was unacceptable. I hope it gets better soon!
Honestly, it just FLOORED me. My mouth must have looked like it was on the floor.
After it all happened, I told Scott that the next time he calls, for my husband to talk to him. Because honestly, I have NOTHING to say.
If I tried to defend myself or my actions, I got it even more. If I tried to make him realize what the REAL deal is, he got even more mad.
So, until he can takl to me in a civil manner and just STOP trying to find cures for something that there is none for (and been told of this SEVERAL times), then there is really nothing more to say at this point to him.
I'm sorry. :(
Your Dad's comment makes me want to
Like I mentioned to you, he is looking for a "miracle" for Bryce and really does not understand the true nature of Bryce's problems. If he "got it", he would not be looking at Cyberknife Surgery as an option. Most likely he saw the ad (I saw it last night on our local station) and got excited about it.. thinking he has "found it!!" for Bryce and you had to shoot him down.
His reaction was HURT and he behaved very badly by lashing out at you and bringing your Mother into the arguement. SAD !!! And very WRONG of him. We both know how stubborn he is .. but we also know that underneath all that, he has a good heart and loves you all. He will come around and be sorry.. and hopefully soon.. and apologize. I know he MEANT well .. thinking he was helping.. and it didn't work that way.
Love you, kiddo !! Even tho you surely are not a "kid" anymore!
Your Dad's comment makes me want to
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