Darkness Lifting

[randi1978]

This last Friday, I got something in the mail.  Something I have been hoping for since right after Christmas.  It was pictures and home movies of my precious Alicya/Zoe.  The sudden happiness was astounding when I viewed pictures of her smiling face and actually got to watch her in action on the TV.  She has gotten so big.  Sometimes it's hard for me to realize that it's been almost 2 yrs since her surrender.  You don't realize how much a child changes over the course of 6 months, especially when they are still so young.

When she smiles, she is all her own person.  But when her face is still, she is a replica of her older sister. 

Both Michelle (big sis) and my mom watched the videos with me.  Michelle was excited to see her sissy on TV and mom had to wipe tears from her eyes.  She has said more than once that it hurts her to see them, and she cannot imagine the pain I go thru at times, but she just can't take her eyes off of the little cherub staring at us from the TV screen.

Yes, it hurts.  The first vid the a-parents ever sent me actually was her laughing while playing in the bath-tub.  That giggle shattered my wall and the waterworks just started without stop.  The last noise I had ever heard from her was her screams at her birth.  Mere minutes old, screaming to wake the dead (I always think of Look Who's Talking "Put me back!  Put me back!").  This most recent vid was her looking and talking directly into the camcorder.  Lots of babble, lots of "DaDa"....Oooooooh, I just wanted to reach thru the TV and pinch those plump little cheeks!!!!!

Recieving the pics, vids and update along with finding out that tax season was going to be kind to me have left me in a better mood.  I have called on a few places, in hopes to be able to see them sometime this weekend.  I hope to be able to move by the second week of February. 

Basically, I am in a better mood.  I just hope that things continue to progress in the positive fashion they have been going in.

[MyBelovedOnes]

Jan. 26, 2009 at 10:29 PM

That is so wonderful to hear.  That makes me want to cry too.  I know there has to be some relief there too; relief in at least knowing she is happy and loved....by so many people.  

[Intrinsic.Elite]

Jan. 27, 2009 at 2:31 AM

AAww honey I am so happy for you (hugs and kisses).  You have come across good times at the moment.  Even though it may not be the all out wish of what you want.  That extra reassurance of knowing she is happy and well taken care of should at least aid your aching mind.  I'm also glad that Michelle got to see her too.  I can just imagine how excited she was when she saw her little sister's face.

Love you honey xoxo