I never thought..I would say this

[TaraERZ]

But, my father is an ass.

I don't even know where to begin in this.  I'm just soo emotional and just thinking about thing's, so I thought I would just type.  Some may know already, as I've done a few post/journals.  That, my parents seperated/divorced over a year ago.  It was something that was truly unexpected, because my parent's always worked their problems out.  but, apparently, not this one.

My father has been there since I was 2.  (my mother left my birth father, he was abusive) and met my "DAD" (he has raised me, hes my father) ....He took my sister and I in as if we were his own, he has no children that are biologically his.  He has been the best father you can think of, being there as the father figure, the friends, the breadwinner,etc.  He would come home from work to watch us cheerlead.  He would do any and everything he could for my sister and I, and of course, my mother.  I always known them as having a good relationship(from when I can remember) and of course having the normal up's and down's...etc.  We had a good life, a good teenage life.  My sister and I had everything a teenage girl could want. A beautiful home, a pool. allowance more than most, each had our own cars...you name...but, in the end...that hasnt changed the out-come what is devastating me now.  I have soo many good/bad memories of growing up...not as bad as most..just mainly just normal "parent" problems.  So..Fast forward to now...21years later....My parent's were having problems....say prob. off and on for the last 3-5 years.   They  made it through, but I knew there were times where my dad wanted to leave..but didn't...(for me I guess..)..So I thought.  So, here we are...a year after my parent's did split and divorce is final.  I'm still longing to wonder HOW my father can be acting the way he is right now. When my father walked out...he left my mother with on a few hundred dollars...(she gets laid off every winter, he of course was the bread-winner) he left with her with NO OIL in the tank, left her with ALL the bills due! and barely any money! and a MONTH before Christmas.   With NO GIFTS bought yet...(I have two kids, and my sister had one at the time) He left!!! he LEFT!!!! we were all devasted...I of course took it really hard bc this is the only father I have known!! ...Now, here's my question!!!! After a year of ups and downs, and turn arounds of him being gone!! I've done EVERYTHING I could to comply with him..and trying to get him to see his grand-children (when he left, he was with another women..til this day though, he says he wasnt)...this other women was suppose to be a "friend" to my mother..Anyways, of course my mom is bitter (do we blame her? HELL NO) but, ME being the nice, person that I am.  I still try to make thing's work with my dad to see my girls even though my MOTHER couldnt stand this women and I didnt agree with this situation my dad was in....but, irregardless, these girls were still his granddaughters and he and they had a right to see eachother. ...So, up until 3 or so months ago...I thought things were fine ..until my father's gf was stocking my mother (long story short, she waited for my mom, folloowerd her to walmart, hit her, and then blamed it on my mom)...so I of course finally had a enough (this WASNT the first stunt his gf has played) and I confronted my dad and said I DONT want this women around my children.....and ever since I havent spoken to my dad.  ive seen him twice no and NO word.  NO Phone call. NOTHING...How can he do this?  21 years! how can he leave his daughters....his grandkids!!!!!??? HOW over this women!? How can a love/lust/whatever it is with this women make him wanna leave his daughters...or to top it off his granddaughters?  yknow./.??? I dont understand him leaving my mother, but I know there were more problems than what truly came out ....HOW though???? Im still LOST and sooo emotional and upset over this!!!!! He can just turn his back on ME?????? and my girls?  Then NOW ..come to find out...he STOPS paying my moms support (they have a court order) she hasnt had a payment in a little while now..he just stops  paying..but guess what...heres the damn kicker..He went to the steelers came two weeks ago, then last week he went to Arizona (we live in pa) and NOW hes going to the SUPERBOWL??? IN FL!?? I MEAN HOW THE HELL DO U HAVE THIS F***** MONEY TO DO ALL THIS SHIT? BUT U LEAVE MY MOTHER STRUGGLING TO PAY HER BILLS (shes laid off ..its winter time) WHILE U GO AND HAVE A GOOD Ol" WONDERFUL TIME....I NEVER EVER THOUGHT MY DAMN FATHER COULD ACT THE WAY HES ACTING?  HOW CAN A MAN WHO IS SUPPOSE TO LOVE YOU!?  JUST LEAVE..AND NEVER LOOK BACK?  WERE WE JUST NOT WORTH WHAT WE THOUGHT WE WERE TOO HIM?????  I AM 23 YEARS OLD .....AND I HAVE NO FATHER.  HOW AND WHY?????? I JUST WISH I HAD THE ANSWERS...>!!

IM SORRY THIS IS SOO LONG...I JUST..I DONT KNOW, NEEDED TO JUST WRITE WHAT I WAS THINKIN ....

 

[Austinsmommy416]

Jan. 27, 2009 at 10:33 AM

I'm so sorry you have to go through all of this. I wish I had some advice for you. But all I can offer is a hug

[PENJET]

Jan. 27, 2009 at 10:35 AM

I'm sorry you are going through all this. I don't think anyone but him can explain it and since he isn't cooperating it looks like you're just going to have to wait for his eyes to open and realize what he is doing. It will probably be too late and he'll have to live with the guilt of it. It doesn't sound like he is thinking straight. I really hope this all works out. Be strong and have faith. Is there any way you could pull him aside and try to talk to some sense into him? Good Luck!!!!!

[divinity80921]

Jan. 27, 2009 at 10:38 AM

I'm so sorry. That really stinks. It's really hard to understand why someone who has been a rock for you can suddenly be Mr. I-Don't-Care. No doubt the marriage was not as solid as it looked for a long time, but only the two people in the marriage know what's really going on between them. I don't know if it's any consolation, but when men run out on their wives because of another woman, that relationship is nearly always doomed. He was thinking with the wrong head.