People and Babies..

[Serafyna]

Okay, I love babies. I know they are cute.. that said - going out around people with a newborn sucks. This week I had to take Josh out because of his jaundice to be tested, then again later to my OB appointment (since he relies on me for food). I had to go to the emergency room for the lab work.. so I am sitting there with a 5 day old, nervously hovering to discourage people from putting their hands in his carrier. Really people? You really have to be told, Hey - he's 5 days old and you have the funk bad enough to come to an emergency room... please no touching.

So, my OB wanted to have my leg sonogramed to check for a blood clot (no big deal, just having some weird swelling)   I went to the imaging center. Keep in mind - I've never been there before. I don't know anyone there. I brought Josh with me to the imaging place and told the lady at the front I needed somewhere private to nurse while I waited. Josh is crying.. and this nurse I've never seen and don't know pops up from behind the counter (she's not the lady checking me in, and she's not the tech I will be seeing). She says, "Awwww I want to see him." I ignore her with a smile and continue to sooth him. She asks how old he is, I tell her "One week and he's hungry" She says, "Can I hold him?" I told her No. I explained he's only a week old, he hasn't had any of his shots yet, and working in the public you never know what she's come in contact with (even a flu or cold could be bad news when you weigh 7lbs soaking wet.) She disappeared and didn't return.

I felt a weird mix of sorry and angry. I felt bad for her, because she seemed kind of lonely to hold a baby.. but I also thought - how incredibly ballsy to ask to hold a newborn?

Is it me? I generally don't ask people I *know* if I can hold their newborn. I let them offer, unless I am really close to that person. I certainly wouldn't ask a woman I don't know if I could hold her 1 week old?

It's been on my mind since then. Like I said, I feel kind of bad.. like I was rude and a little annoyed that the woman put me in an awkward position. So, was I out of line to be brisk with her?

Then again, who can resist this face?  :)

[Candy79]

Jan. 27, 2009 at 6:33 PM

aww he's adorable and so are the little ones in your pic. I know what you mean with that the only people I would let my son be held beside myself was the hubby and the two friends that I was staying with and some family members but I wouldn't have let a stranger, especially a nurse that worked with sick people your baby could've gotten something too. Congrats on the cutie!

[princezzmommie]

Jan. 27, 2009 at 7:01 PM

awww...well maybe a little rude, but not out of line.  i had a similiar problem when my son was born. he was a preemie and he was not even supposed to be out of the house, but when i'd go to the grocery store with him, when i had to, people would often ask if they could hold him or put their hands in his face...i finally started keeping the carrier handle up and draping a recieving blanket over it.  it keeps thier hands off and he had plenty of room to breathe.

congratulations.

[KnoxvilleDoula]

Jan. 27, 2009 at 7:10 PM

I always explain this to my doula clients -- it's NOT rude -- it's your baby and it's common sense. Who cares about being rude to a stranger vs keeping your baby safe? Wrap the baby up and have an extra blanket! Hands off! Hugs

[twinsRus5]

Jan. 27, 2009 at 8:51 PM

U were not rude at all!  That was really weird for her to come out and ask u if she could hold him.  U did the right thing momma. I would never ask a stranger if I could hold their baby. BTW, He is pretty hard to resist! lol

[Serafyna]

Jan. 27, 2009 at 10:14 PM

 

Thanks ladies!

It's sad you can never be too safe now-a-days.  Not just from disease, but from other people.  I remember reading here on CM a Mom telling the Welcome forum that this woman had grabbed her child at a Mall play area.  She kept encroaching on her space and finally scooped up a CM Moms younger child and started to walk away with her.  (Fortunately other parents blocked her from leaving the play area and mall security was called, the woman was clearly mentally unbalanced)

I think I felt sympathetic for this employee because I don't know her story... I had terrible baby fever for years when I was with my ex-husband (we tried for two years with no luck).. and she seemed kind of lonely - longing.  At the same time - it was creepy, and inconsiderate.  He was in my arms fussing and all I wanted to do was finish the admission paperwork so I could go nurse him.  I thought after I told her how young he was and gently ignored her "I want to see him" she would get the hint.   I did resist the urge to smack an older ladies hand that removed his blanket without asking me so she could see his face.  People are just amazing sometimes!

Thanks for the reassurance and letting me vent!  *big hugs*

 

(Original Poster)