it's over (sorry kinda long)

[Islandmamita]

so here it is a few days from my wedding anniversary. and i was actually excited, for some reason i thought with all the crap i've been through that maybe we still had a chance in the marriage. the past 3yrs.have been really hard for me, and i tried to compromise in every way possible, i made excuses, and even toke the blame for things that weren't my fault. I thought in a marriage you were suppose to do everything possible to keep the marriage going. i never believed in divorce, but i do believe that no-one in this world has  the right to control another human being. well it's over, i've had just about as much crap as anyone shoulld have to swallow. the man i thought i knew is no longer.....he has become this lying, sneaky, alcoholic. any time he has a day off from work he starts drinking the night before. and on the weekends he drinks like every night. now you have to imagine if a person drinks every weekend and some weekdays for a year, and almost 3 yrs. off and on.......THAT'S A LOT OF DAMN DRINKS!!!!! what does he think he's doing trying to start his own liquor store, but he's his own customer. and who cares if he drinks too much right , but the bad part is that he starts acting crazy, grabbing me, and the next day he says he doesn't remember and i'm making it all up. this started about 4yrs. ago, it got better, then worse, then better, and now who cares...i'm not gonna sit around here until he hurts me. i tried to think that i could just love it out of him, but i know now that know matter what i say or do he needs professional help. he doesn't even think we needed marriage counseling. so do you think he's gonna go get help???? we had another huge fight tonight, and that's it for me, i can't take it anymore.

i'm so angry, i allowed myself to get into this situation: i don't have a job, no money saved away, no car in my name, and no place to go. why didn't i trust myself and keep working. looking back on things i think he planned for me to stop working even before asked me, it's like he already knew how he wanted his wife to be before he found one. what ind of person tries to make you into what he wants, like you don't have a mind of your own. there's only one GOD!

[princezzmommie]

Jan. 28, 2009 at 8:02 AM

i am so sorry that you had to come around to this point of view through so much crap.  he's never going to change for you.  you have to accept that.  if he doesn't see a problem with himself he won't try to change himself. it sucks and i know it must be really hard for you but it is what it is.  my rule of thumb is to ask yourself if this is the life you want for your kids.  would you want them married to someone like this?

i'm sorry you are in that situation where you have no income of your own and no other options. it almost traps you there.  do you think you could find a job now?  start planning for the worst?

good luck honey.

 

[BIGBOOTY35]

Jan. 30, 2009 at 11:54 PM

hi kim. i just read ur post, girl i'm so sorry to hear that u going through this sh$t. if he love u and them kids he will go get help. and if he still want to be marrie to u he will suggest you'll to go to a marrage counsling.but if you'll can't sit down and compermize on thangs,that mean the marrage is over.but i put it like this... if a man is doing sneaky, lieing and start to controll its time to hall ass. kim i never been marrie i hope my advice help u a lil bit. kim i'm gonna give it to u hard and real, if he won't get help,take care u and the kids, give u money like he suppost to u need to leave his drinking ass alone.as for the car and a place,he need to take care that...but if u file for a divorce u will get everythang u need trust me. well stay in touch with me let me no how thags going.         love u,ur friend nikki.

[BIGBOOTY35]

Jan. 30, 2009 at 11:59 PM

kim i forgot to mention, boo if u don't beleave in divorce,maybe you'll should seperate for awhile.

[MomofDesire]

Aug. 11, 2009 at 5:47 PM

SOMETIMES WE LOVE MEN WHO ARE SO UNDESERVING OF IT. YOU DESERVE BETTER, DONT WORRY THAT YOU DONT HAVE MONEY - WHERE THE IS A WILL THER IS A WAY - TIME FOR YOU TO LOVE YOU NOW! NO MORE WASTING YOUR LOVE ON HIM AND HE CLEARLY DOES NOT APPRECIATE IT. HE WILL NOT CHANGE - IM JUST TELLING YOU FROM EXPERIENCE- WHEN DRUGS ALCOHOL AND IN MY CASE GAMBLING ARE INVOLVED- THEN ITS PROFESSIONAL HELP THATS NEEDED. I WAS TOLD BY MY EX THAT SINCE HE BEEN WITH ME HE HAS BEEN LOSING AT GAMBLING - BEING WITH ME MADE HIM A LOSER- WHAT A CROC OF SHIT! FOR YOUROWN SANITY , SAFTEY AND THOSE KIDS OF YOURS WELL BEING - LEAVE!