The Harness Wars

[randi1978]

I've seen the topic of harnesses come up from time to time.  It sure is amusing how hot of a debate such topics can turn into.  They always say there are some things you never discuss and that's politics and religion....maybe they need to toss in "parenting styles" along with that.

I used a harness for Michelle starting when she was about 2 1/2 up until a little after her 4th birthday when she outgrew it.  She is one of those kids who takes off at a moment's notice .  Refuses to hold your hand (last time I tried and fought with her, she nearly dislocated her fingers trying to get loose).  Fights tooth and nail when you try to confine her to the basket of a shopping cart.  Been this way since she could walk.

She's 5 now and for the most part, her actions haven't changed.  Every form of discipline tried, exhausted and failed.  Stranger danger doesn't sink in.  Car danger doesn't sink in.  Time outs, taking her out of the store, spankings, you name it I have tried it....all to no avail.  I'm sure there are some who would say "how hard is it to control her, you're much bigger than her!"

Not really.  She's damned near 4 feet tall and weighs almost 50 lbs.  When her adrenaline is going, her strength amazes everyone.  When it was time to get her shots, it took 4 nurses and the doctor to hold her down(three holding her upper body, one holding her legs and the doctor trying to catch a spot to stick).  She managed to get one of her legs free and kicked a nurse in the face so hard, broke the poor lady's nose.  Now imagine that type of strength against one single person who is maybe a foot and a half taller at best.  Especially when her adrenaline is going.  The last battle was over a shopping cart in Target after she didn't listen to me.  She fought so hard, knocked me down to the ground.

I miss her harness.  She had her freedom to walk along side me without being "confined" and I was able to enjoy our outings, even if it was a quick errand to the grocery store (wal mart supercenter...always crowded).  I didn't have to worry that much about someone snatching her up (tho I would imagine the scene and the fight if someone tried).  I don't have to worry about her trying to take off because she wants to go and look at some cutesie underwear just because they have Tinkerbell on them or suddenly running out in the parking lot and getting run down by a car.  We could shop as we needed and there was some security that she was not far off.

Given all of that, those of us who trust the harness are still labelled as "lazy".  Yes, there are parents who mis-use products all the time.  Sad, but true.  But with that logic ("Oh, I always see parents with *insert child product here* and they're never minding/paying attention/watching their children"), one could find something judgemental about parents who use almost all of the child products out there. 

I could care less how others raise their kids.  And this goes for the choices that everyone seems to rant and rave about how bad they are now.  Holy hell, you gave your kid a metal lunchbox?  They could get cut!  You don't buy a foam helmet for your toddler?  What kind of parent are you!

Seriously....we've all made it this far in our lives and in society with the very things some moms completely disagree with.  We've lived thru no car seats or booster seats (I was sitting in the backseat with a regular seatbelt by the time I was 2 1/2, 3 yrs old), we lived thru being able to run wild thru our neighborhoods, we lived thru our parents using harnesses and wrist leads, we made it thru crying it out, we made it without those little foam helmets when we started walking, and yes we made it without all that damned hand sanitizer!!!!!!