RRRR. teenagers.... must be nice to live in your own reality

[kristydillon]

I'm so ready for him to move out! He turns 18 in 5 weeks and plans to go to college in the fall.

He brought home his progress report today and is getting a 57 in Algebra. The rule has always been if he participates in a school play and his grades drop then he can't participate in the next. Once a year we have to enforce this rule. He had been allowed to work on the musical even though he hadn't been taking care of his responsiblities. Then he brings home a F! Then he starts giving us excuses on why it isn't really a F. It only shows as a F because of late/incomplete assignments. Well, why would that be? Because they had to be in by Thursday to count as that grading period, and I didn't turn them in until Friday. Why didn't you turn them in on Thursday? Because Thursday is an odd day and alegebra is an even class so it met on Wednesday. So why didn't you turn them in on Wednesday? Because they weren't done yet. Didn't you know they had to be in? I knew, it was on the syllabus. But I had only finished 3 out of 8 assignments done by Wednesday.  Did you turn in the ones you had done? No. Why not? Doesn't the teacher let you turn them in as you get them done? Yeah, there's a box for our hour but if I put them in the box they get mixed in with everyone else's and if I skip one I can't tell. So I keep them together in my binder and turn them in all at once. But this is the 3rd time my grade dropped because I didn't turn them in on time. Why don't you mark on your syllabus when you finish an assignment, then turn  it in that way if it doesn't get credited it's the teacher's mistake not yours? I never said she lost my papers. WTF??? That's not what I said. You didn't turn in papers that were done but it's not your fault that you didn't get credit for them? I'm not up for this conversation, again.

I left room. He keeps trying to agrue with his father, now trying the guilt. You guys never listen to me, and blame me for things I can't control. (Can't control when you do your homework? You even have seminar class everyday so you have time to work on it with help if needed).  If I don't do this next play I won't get my drama letter ( What are the requirements? you have been in drama class 3 years and participated in 2 plays a year for all 4 years. My sister did 1 play and got a letter). I'm tired of trying to talk to you guys because you won't have an intelligent  conversation with me (You mean we won't cave and give you what you want  and hold you responsible unlike your mom and grandmas). Stomps off to his room.

He says he's going to college in fall. He got accepted into the State college here in town and plans on living in dorms. He did nothing as far as looking for scholarships even though we've given him lots of ideas on how to look. One grandma even brought over paperwork for one he was eligible to apply for  because of her volunteer work. He didn't even bother with it. They have a counselor at school who's whole job is helping them get into colleges and find the $$ to pay for it. Never visited her.  He got a letter from school that he qualified for a generic scholarship (all he had to do was chack a box on college app) It's good for $1000 first semester and $500 second- as long as he takes atleast 12 hours and maintains 3.0 gpa, will be able to renew second year. The average cost at this school for one year is $6500. Where does he think the rest of the money is coming from? We have 3 other kids at home and enough debt, including his dad's student loans that some months we borrow grocery and gas money. And like many people, his dad's hours are being cut back. There is no way we have money to pay for him to go to school.

One of these days reality is going to smack him in the face. It should be interesting.

[ohwrite]

Feb. 4, 2009 at 1:38 AM

I feel your pain....I mean literally. We went through this big time with my oldest, now 26, and I think reality might finally be setting in....I think. He's 26, working at Del Taco for minimum wage. I won't tell you our whole long story, but boy the excuses and lying are frustrating.

I can't really offer any advice because nothing we did worked, but I can empathize.

Good luck, my heart is with you. (the only hope I can offer is that sons number 2 & 3 seem to have learned from their brother's choices.

[kristydillon]

Feb. 4, 2009 at 3:14 AM

Thank you for the support. Hubby thinks I overreact but his brother (51yo!) has been living with their mom at least the last 15 years and does nothing to help pay bills or take care of house, etc. I've already told hubby I will not allow it.  She has an empty room, he can go live with her if he expects someone else to take care of him. 

My 5, 4 and 2 yo already show more common sense and responsiblility than this one. I'm still working on breaking hubby's bad habits that encouraged this behavior.

(Original Poster)

[orcamom]

Feb. 4, 2009 at 10:46 AM

Sorry you are having to go through that.  I guess it makes me even more thankful my step-son lives with his mother and pretty much never comes to visit.  However his mom makes sure he is doing what he is supposed to be doing.  I do think unfortunately think that once a kid reaches the teen yrs they go in to this alternate universe and we will never understand it LOL  ( NO COMMON SENSE UNIVERSE) or  (IT WONT EVER HAPPEN TO ME)  LMAO.   Hang in there.