ADULTERY AND THE BIBLE- Why do Christian women struggle concerning this?

[WiseMom1970]

In the 10 commandments given to Moses, Adultery was #7, this is God’s law, and in the OT times, if broken was punishable by stoning to death. And while this law is God’s law and still applies to us today, women we CAN NOT kill our husbands for committing this sin, although I’m sure you’d probably like to. But what can a woman today do if her husband commits adultery? In today’s society this sin is not frowned upon enough, it seems that everyone is doing it, it’s all over the TV and movie screens, in commercials sex is used as a selling pitch.

In Matthew 5:28 Jesus says “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” The ONLY ground that God gave for divorcing one's mate was sexual immorality. So do we leave our husbands because he lusted after another woman. NO.

So what is adultery? Technically there are differences in the original Biblical language as there is in the English between adultery and fornication, adultery is illicit sexual intercourse between married or unmarried persons. God gave us spouses to satisfy our urges and desires and that is where it should stay.

So if your husband or you do stray, what does that mean? Is it forgivable? Jesus showed us in John 8 with the woman who was caught committing adultery that it can be forgiven. If the cheating spouse can repent, ask forgiveness, and never do it again, should you forgive? You can, if you think the marriage can be saved, save it. Forgive, but by all means, you will never be able to FORGET. And TRUST, well that will have to be rebuilt in time. Keep in mind that you will always be haunted by what he’s done and you will have trouble trusting him. Trust is an important part of a healthy relationship, and essential for the marriage to survive. What if your husband doesn’t repent and ask forgiveness and is abusive towards you and he will continue to cheat? The Bible gives us that escape to leave that adulterer and be without sin.

Ephesians 5:5 says: " "No whoremonger, no unclean person hath an inheritance in the Kingdom of Christ and of God." Leaving with the only God given excuse of adultery will not make you unclean! If you doubt this, ask your pastor.

In today’s age, there are so many divorces, latest polls say 38% divorce each year in the US, and infidelity is among the top 5 excuses why people divorce. Of young married people, the 2 main problems for them to divorce are Sex and Money. Scary huh? But true none the less. Money is not excusable by God, it’s for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness, and in health. You made these vows. But to be betrayed and still stay is not in those vows.

This is a personal decision to leave your husband, one that should be prayed about. But in the subject of adultery it is OK to leave and divorce, DO NOT feel that you aren’t a good Christian woman for doing so. It is not sin in God’s eyes.

[ColtsFan1912]

Feb. 4, 2009 at 5:07 PM

This is beautifully written.

My DH has had two emotional affairs of me, & yes trust is hard to find, but I chose to stay & work through it. .. but if it ever happened again I'd be gone & I know it'd be ok

[lonelymama369]

Feb. 4, 2009 at 7:01 PM

 I left my ex-husband multiple times due to emotional abuse.  When we attempted to reunite, my ex chose to blame me for his infidelities, saying that, "if you would not have left me, the affairs would not have occurred in the first place..  I'm not sorry for what I did."

Lonelymama

[tropikanagirl]

Feb. 4, 2009 at 9:12 PM

Wow, that was a very interesting Journal post Wise. I agree with you. Adultery is looked upon as "normal" in this world. I do believe I heard a pastor once say that people of God are always looked at differently. I think because we follow the Word and not the things on earth, we are looked upon even as weird, because we are not indulging in the flesh. In this day and age, it is SO important, especially if your a mom, to tell kids at a early age what is pleasing to God and what is not. (But make it in a child friendly manner). My son, he is 6, and when he sees things that are not right, he tells me. I tell him the truth. That is another thing that is lacking in our society. Gone are the days where you could just take someone for their word. Now, a word means nothing. Its like a lack of character that people are not placing in their children, therefore we raise children that are more subsetable to sin.

[seasidegrandma]

Feb. 4, 2009 at 11:24 PM

For those who are interested there is a study called "Every Woman's Battle" by Shannon Ethridge that deals with the same subject.   I just looked over it last night and it deals with the same subjects of sexual integrity. The introduction explains that adultery is not just the act, but could be in the mind or emotional only. Thank you for sharing. I wish more young couples would seek pre marriage counsel or if married in a church, the clergy would require it. Promiscuity is so much in the public eye, that our children and grandchildren have a greater need for the proper teaching of sexuality and God's plan for marriage. Since it is also a health issue now, I am surprised that promiscuity is so rampant and so many young adults do not practice abstinence as a protective measure. It may be a difficult subject for parents to appraoch, but is necessary for assurance that our children understand God's law and the health  issues that could be involved.

" Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to rest and approve what God's will is--His good,  pleasing and perfect will"

Romans 12:2