"Where'd binky go mommy?"

[honeybea3]

I'm sitting here typing this and listening to my daughter pathetically whine and "cry" for her binky.

Yea, funny story. We went to the office where she gets check-ups done sometimes. The were processing our paperwork and the woman behind the desk asked Kea for her binky. Kea gave it to her. Yea, gave it over willingly. The woman took it and told her she wasn't getting it back. Kea said, "ok" and took off, Brutus still in hand. I'm thinking to myself, "yea, ok I'll roll with this".
As we prepared to leave, I looked questionably at the woman who took the binky and she slipped it to me. I put it in the bottom of my purse.
I thought, I'm gonna go with this. Kea's teeth are messed up from this stupid binky and she certainly can't suck on it for the rest of her life, I'm gonna stand firm with this.

So, here we go. She asked for it a couple of times. I just keep reminding her she was very kind and gave it to the lady at the office who needed it really bad. It was o.k. for a little while. But now we are home and trying to take a nap which is a crucial binky moment.

It's going about like I figured it would. But, not as bad as I thought it might. I envisioned a screaming child, distraught and unable to be comforted.

Kids aren't as dumb or naive as we think they are. The crescendo just came and went. It was so-so. She has been in her room for an hour kind of whining, doing the whole fake crying thing. Then it hit. She began really crying. That was hard for me. I very nearly gave in. I went to her and guided her back into the bed, gently reminding her again how kind and compassionate she was by giving her only binky to that lady who needed it. I explained to her how much she helped that lady by giving her the binky and how much it helped her out. I reminded her how she got a sticker for being a big girl and giving her binky away and would she like another sticker. She took another sticker and put it in her "I've been good book". I told her she would get another sticker later after she woke up from her nap. But first she would need to lay down and go to sleep with only Brutus(her plush toy dog). She tearfully told me "ok" and laid down. I haven't heard a peep out of her since and that was 10 minutes ago! Praise the Lord, the first part of the journey is passing.

So, my rant now is binky vs. no binky. After this experience I am a believer in no binky ever. Why start it. Why do we start it? Because we parents are lazy and want instant gratification, not even taking our child's future into consideration. Just because we are tired and don't want to hear the whining and crying of the infant, we stick a fake nipple in their mouth to hush them up so we can have what we want. Not even thinking of later on down the road to when the child is addicted. How are you going to take it away? How is the child going to feel? Why not go ahead and suffer through the crying jags now that they won't really remember than yanking a security "blanket" away from them when they've grown up to depend on it?
If I had to do it over I wouldn't have used a binky for Kea.

In light of new information that I received from a much more informed individual than myself I am needing to make an alteration the the above writing in red that I've highlighted above. 

As you can see from the comment below pacifiers have been known to lower the risk of SIDS.  I'm not certain where to find that information, it does make sense to me though.  In this new light I will have to say that I would give my child a binky and just deal with the "drama" that comes along with having to ween them off of it later on. 

Thank You Vespa!  

Here is the website supporting the information about the binky lowering the risk of SIDS! 

 http://www.sids.org/nprevent.htm

[Vespa]

Feb. 4, 2009 at 8:15 PM

I chose to use a pacifier because of its assocation with reducing the risk of SIDS. I'd rahter deal with some upsetment overa pacifier than the worrying over SIDS or the upsetment over a dead baby. Granted, my son is 20-months and really only uses his pacifier at night and during naps. He doesn't care if he goes without during the day.

[honeybea3]

Feb. 5, 2009 at 12:50 PM

I didn't know about the SIDS association.  Definitely would be worth the upset later if it lowered that risk!  Guess I need to re-write my journal.  Thank you for the info!  What a blessing. 

Kea only used the binky for naps and night sleeping also when we first started it out.   But lately she was beginning to rely on it more and more so I guess I'm glad God opened that door for us at the office with that lady taking it.  

(Original Poster)

[Laura1229]

Feb. 5, 2009 at 1:00 PM

Teo of my kids took them, 2 spit them right out.  My oldest weaned himself off of it.  My 2nd child needed a little help.  We did it gradually.  First he had to hand it over at meal times... then he had to hand it over if we went into a store... then he had to hand it over if we were leaving the house or going outside, etc, etc, etc until he only needed it at bedtime.  Then we were sneak in after he was asleep & get it.. he could have it back at bedtime again.  Eventually, he didn't notice it was missing any more.

Personally speaking, though --- if someone else took it upon themselves to take my child's anything, whether they slipped it to me or not --- we'd have a few words.

[Vespa]

Feb. 5, 2009 at 2:49 PM

http://www.sids.org/nprevent.htm see #9

http://kidshealth.org/parent/general/sleep/sids.html See item 8 under Tips for Reducing the Risk of SIDS

http://www.nichd.nih.gov/health/topics/Sudden_Infant_Death_Syndrome.cfm See item 6 under "How can I redice the SIDS risk?

http://sids-network.org/risk.htm See #6

http://www.babycenter.com/0_reducing-the-risk-of-sids_419.bc?page=5#articlesection8 See answer under Does using a pacifier affect my baby's risk of SIDS?

There are many more sites out there.

[honeybea3]

Feb. 5, 2009 at 3:51 PM

LOL, Laura, I was so floored by her doing that.  The office we were at is the Health Department and the woman is one of the workers in the W.I.C. office.  I don't know if you have W.I.C. where you are.  It's a government funded assistance program for woman who are pregnant, or have children under the age of 5.  It promotes good health and nursing and over all good nutrition.  Anyway, I was so floored I just didn't quite know how to react.  I'd never had someone go that far and she was one of those people that although she was being blatantly controlling of MY childs life, she somehow didn't come across offensive.  It was just one of those moments.  I firmly believe my Heavenly Father was just making a way for a situation I wasn't sure how to handle so I went with it.  But, yea, I was thinking to myself a little bit about having a few words with her....I just was dumbfounded at the time. 

(Original Poster)