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i dont know what to do
- Feb 9, 2009 at 8:23 PM
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- Comments (7) Total Views (88) Everyone can see this journal post.
i dont know if im going through post partum depression but here it goes, i just had a baby 4 months ago, regaurly im pretty self concious but not this bad, currently my boyfriend is not living with me but living in florida trying to pursue his career in the music industry. but i alwasy seem to have to ask him if he is seeing someone else, funny thing i could never imagine him do it, but i ask him anyway, i make him hurt really bad, he tells me his chest stomahe and head start to ache and every time i ask him these questions he gets tottaly axhausted and i need to to do something to fix my problems and i dont know what to do i always seem so be upset, i love him beyond what words can say, and i always seem to overreact i like call people and ask them questions, and i know he is going to blow up one day so i need help, i need to get over this and i dont know how, no matter how many times i say he loves me i still feel different but when i ask him and he says no i always seem to be relived but i dont know. im in such a weird position and all i want to do is be with him but there are too many things holding me back from going back out to florida( he and i lived out there for three months and i couldnt find a job) right now i work 4 overnight a week and im aways exhausted after wards, now my man was always my sense of excape from the world and i was his too, but now its like he is questioning us because of me. i dont want to be like this and i dont mean to be like this, but i dont know what to do im so emotional and i cant help the tears at all anymore. I DONT WANT TO BE LIKE THIS ANYMORE, can any one help me to fix my ways??
i dont want to hurt him i really love him and he really loves me.
i cant afford to go see a counseler and i dont know what to do.
Comments:
im off of medicaid unfortnuatley but im looking in on getting help i dont want to hurt him and i dont mean to. i get so upset i just cant help it
honey, this happened to me too and i am married to the man i did it to. we had gotten married and then i got pregnant with our third child and i was like that while i was pregnant and after i had our little boy. it's the hormones changing and now changing back. and if you are nursing that could be part of it too. on top of all that you are living apart he is not there to reassure you when you get this way and your body is changing too. you have to remember that you are feeling out of sorts with your body being not what it once was and that has a lot to do with it too. when i was post preg with my last one i thought i looked horrible and didn't know why my man wasn't looking somewhere else. it's not you and it does get better. but i would let him know that you don't mean to be this way and you know that he isn't. because deep down you know he wouldn't and if your love is strong you would know if he was. trust your heart not your hormonal head.....lol IT WILL GET BETTER, STAY POSITIVE!!!!!!!
ok thanks im trien my hardest but its sucks and i dont want to do it to him but im afraid, but i know i shouldnt be but still am. how long will i feel like this?? i mean some days are really great and he loves it when im in a good mood and others are really bad, i feel miserable. i know i shouldnt becuase what my boyfriend is doing for me is great, he is not trying to do this music for himself. he told me that he wants people to recognize his creative music and respect him for that and that its going to put me and my son in a great oppurtunity were i will never have to work again, i pray everyday that he gets signed. i want to be with him again and to have the money to see him all the time. ive been with him for 6 yrs. i shouldnt feel this way. i always try to tell myself its not real its all in my head but its doesnt work. im looking for counseling right now and i hope to find someone very cheap, i want to fix us so bad. i want to be able to comunicate with him and not get upset and go over board with it. if u have any ideas on how we can find a good cheap counseler im all ears.
try checking with your local mental health facility. a lot of times they can get you finantial aid or payment options. that is what i did after my miscarrage and it does help to talk to someone. and they will tell you whether they feel you might be post partium. however post normally starts around 2 to 6 wks after baby and goes for about 6 months then as your hormones return to normal so does the post. now i am not a doctor by any means but i have seen a lot of people go through these things and after having three kids you remind me of me. and i will say that a lot of this is because of your body and mind changes. some of which is just going to take some time. you need to be honest and as open as possible with your man and let him know exactly what you are thinking and feeling. he sounds like a good man and if you talk to him he will understand. when you have kids everything does NOT return right after giving birth. i used to feel like because of my body and new mommy look that i wasn't attractive and i was always thinking my man would look somewhere else. but like he always told me i just gave him the best gift in the world and he understood. so hang in there and it will get better. just take your time and explain what is going on to him. he will get and understand more than you might think. and if you need any more help you can e-mail me on here any time. i check my messages atleast 2 times a day. god bless and good thoughts.
yea ive been talking to him and he sorta understands. he is a good guy and he is willing to help me out. so thank god for him:)
i'm glad to see things are working. just never stop trying and it will get better. just remember he is there for you so let him be. tell him what is on your mind don't leave him wandering and things will be good.
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Are you on medicaid? (you say you can't afford to see a counsler) If you are, they pay for mental health servies.
I don't know what to tell you sweetie. Other than I heard you, and I'm sorry you are feeling the way you are.
You're tired. You just had a baby. Your probably feeling inaduquate and alone because he's gone. It's completely okay that you want to be reassured that you are loved.
(the kid is eatn' cat food...sorry gotta go)
I'll check back later!
- jsikapv
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