Needing advice please

[KATIEBUGSMOM]

Hello everyone.

Ok here goes the story on the dating game.   Its not enough that I find a man that I like and That my daughter likes but to find a man that drinks,,,,beats me. I did not know this at first because of him coming to church,  But you know, he has not been back to church ever since he asked me out. We have gone out several times but the last two times he ended up getting drunk. I can not handle this because I too am an alcholic. I do not want to jeopardize my little girls feelings either. We both like him and I am not sure what God wants me to do. He may want me to try and help this guy or he may be trying to tell me something. I don't know.... ok  tell me what you all think.   And thank you for the recent advice.    Toni

[Jonellyn]

Apr. 20, 2007 at 11:09 AM try a portable dvd with her favorite DVD..it works for my lil one ( you can get a cheap on at walmart or national liquidators or maybe borrow one from a friend)

[NatalieScraps]

Apr. 20, 2007 at 11:09 AM Just my personal opinion, I would reschedule your date for another time when your daughter is not there....  I dont think that children should be exposed to dating--its hard enough for them to understand.  Hope all goes well.  :)

[MAMMACODI]

Apr. 20, 2007 at 11:10 AM

BRIBARY is always good. SHe is old enough to understand what that is. If you have a portable DVD player, you can always use her favorite movie in it. Or her favorite snacks. etc. Also what about taking her where she wants to play...minnie golf is always good. Best of luck. And also GOOD LUCK ON YOUR DATE. TRY TO HAVE FUN. keep us posted on how it went.

[CEastep]

Apr. 20, 2007 at 11:11 AM Is he willing to try a kid friendly place? maybe after you eat, or whatever, you could take her to the park.

[tonys_sunrise]

Apr. 20, 2007 at 11:12 AM OMG this sounds like what i asked my friends 3 years ago! Most kids behave a little better when people they don't know are around for starters. They act a little shyer. Try to really incorporate her into your date. Go to a kid friendly resteraunt. I mean if you think enough of this guy to take your daughter along you must want him to stick around for awhile and he needs to know your parenting style. Heck maybe you will get lucky and he'll help you out with her if she starts acting up.

[GrandmaVal]

Apr. 20, 2007 at 11:16 AM

I like the park idea (kid friendly all on its own) with a picnic table nearby. Pick up a bucket of chicken and yer good to go! Leave the restaurant date for when she can possibly stay at home.

Or you could NOT worry about it. If you have told him that you are bringing your 5 yr old and he doesnt say, Lets wait for another time... its all on him then! Maybe he loves kids..even ones who misbehave (dont they all at one time or another). I wouldnt do any  bribing with her. Sometimes, the more you say or promise, you are already setting them up for failure. I would just say, we are going to dinner with a friend and let it be at that. Kids tend to surprise you.. (lets hope tonight is one of those times!)

Good Luck!

[melissa44]

Apr. 20, 2007 at 11:19 AM I agree with NatalieScraps.  What if you go out with another man the next week, and so on and so on and your daughter remembers mom going out with all these men.  I don't mean to imply that you will be sleeping with them but why let her meet someone unless you are serious about him?  Good luck!!

[mommy5]

Apr. 20, 2007 at 3:23 PM It would be good if he didnt have to meet your daughter but thats soly your choice but I would take some things to entertain her while you are out and do kid friendly activities I know its not the best but since she is with you try easy places. Hey keep us posted on how it goes. Good luck.

[Motherof2Boston]

Apr. 20, 2007 at 3:27 PM

I am going to have to agree with the room, do not bring your daughter if you can avoid it.  I did that and it really made it hard.  For one thing if you do go on a date with one guy that doesn't work out then the one guy who does work out might get the wrong idea of you.  Kids say the funniest things.  My daughter would bring up old strories about nothing but to my husband it was big. 

Good luck!!!

[KATIEBUGSMOM]

Apr. 21, 2007 at 12:54 AM Thanks  everyone for your advice but guess what? He called and asked if we could do it on Sunday. He was still at work and would not be able to get here in time. He has met my daughter before hand and also has 1 little girl who is 11.Everything will work out,I hope and pray.  Thanks again and I will keep you all informed on how it goes on Sunday.  Toni 

(Original Poster)