wish i could explain it

[bsaraquse]

I havent really been myself lately nobody has said anything to me but I have noticed it and I dont understand it. I have had so much on my mind that I dont know if I am coming or going. I am so mixed up. I look at my life and it really scares me when I think were we are sitting and I cant do anything about it. I am 32 will be 33 this April and I look around and all I have for my 33 years of living is my 3 wonderful children the best part of my life, my wonderful husband that I love with everything I have. My 2 degrees that I have worked so hard on. so what is the problem that is the problem I dont know what is wrong. I dont know why I am sitting here crying or that I cant do anything right. I am not really depressed I have been down the road a couple of time all ready and this is a totaly diffrent feeling. This is almost like somehting is missing and I cant put my finger on it. I have wonderful friends and a wonderful family. Could it be my age, could it be that we dont have a lot of money and I am just tired barley living pay check topay check, I listen to everybody around me talk aobut how broke they are, but they go and buy all these nice things let me tell you when I say were broke, I mean were broke. I love my job but I need something better, I want the teacher spot not just because of the money because that is my dream I want to be the one that is teaching those kids, I long for it, but I have been so out of it that when I do get the chance to teach I dont have it in me. Maybe its just a lot of stress and alot of pressure. I so dont know. I know people are going to tell me that I need to go see someone to talk but how can I when I have not idea what is wrong what is there to talk about when there is nothing wrong. Is there anybody else my age feel like this or is there really something wrong with me.

[angellady535]

Feb. 11, 2009 at 8:11 PM

 YOU GOT TO KEEP IT TOGETHER I JUST DID A JOURNAL OF HOW  I HAVE TO LIVE LIKEI'M SUPER WOMAN  AND HOW HARD IT IS I DON'T WANT TO BE PUT IN A BOX . IF YOU YOU ARE A STRONG WOMAN AND EVERYONE DEPENDS ON YOU TO KEEP EVERYTHING TOGETHER YOU GET TIRED . I FEEL  YOUR MORE TIRED THAND ANYTHING . BUT IT IS TIME TO GET YOUR MIND AND HEART BACK IN THE RIGHT PLACE AND STAY FOCUS  . YOUR DREAMS ARE SPECIAL AND YOU HAVE CHILRENS YOU CAN HELP WHO NEED YOU . PLEASE STAND UP AND SHAKE BACK IN PLACE YOUR NEEDED YOUR WORK IN IS WATING .