my life

[bsaraquse]

It was April 15, 1976 when a young woman named Ada and her husband Paul went into stormont Vail hospital in topeka,ks  to have there second child. About 3 weeks early. They had a little boy that was 2 years old named William or Billy. This was going to be another c-section they were worried about baby and mom and wonder if they would make it. 10:08 am Brandi Elizabeth Burch was born 3 week premature weighing at 7lb 4 oz. 21 1/2 inches long. Course back then c-sections was when they put mom totally out. Around 11 mom was starting to come along they told her they had a baby boy, she said oh and went back to sleep 45 minutes later they came back in and told her it was a girl, They had the wrong person, and that she was sick and they had to send her to ku med. I was about an hour old when they sent me in the jay stork to ku med right after I was born  my grandma rode the elevator to the nursery with me she noticed my color wasnt right asked the nurse If i was ok they told grandma yeah I was just lazy. Next thing they knew they rushed me into the nursery and started pulling the shades down. They took my mom up to see me really quick before they took me, she said all she remebers was this little girl laying there with wires and neddles every where and all she could think of was how ugly I was. My dad and my uncle followed the ambulance up to kansas city mo, where I spent a week, the day before they released my mom from the hospital they broght me back to Topeka, she just kept picturing this little girl in this little yellow dress that my grandparents bought me. But was so bruised and beat up from all the work they had to do on me. They took me but they didnt know what the next year held for them, in and out of the hospital I had 3 surgeries by the time I was 1. to flush out my lungs I was born phnumonia( sorry for spelling). One of the nurses gave me a shot that swelled my arm up and I was just learning to crawl so I learned to crawl on the finger tips. Even on my first birthday they have pictures of me and I was sick. My mom calls me her little angel.  I lived with my mom, father, big brother and  little sister until I was about 4 when my grandparents got us all, my mom and dad divorced when I was 3 and my mom lived in her car and she met my step dad. they got a house next door to my grandparents they took my baby sister back to live with them, for a while then my aunt took her and my mom and stepdad moved to North Carlina and became truck drivers. I was 5 when they got married. My grandparents raised us kids and my aunt and uncle raised my sister and adotped her you know so many times they asked us if we wanted to go live with them and we never did, I never did see my dad but only a few time growing up. Even though I lived in my brothers shadow growing up I had a good childhood. We got to do alot go fiishing and camping, we took a yearly trip to Lousianna which is where my grandpa is from. When I was about 15 I started coming into that confusing time of life not sure were I really fit in, I met this guy and he said all the right things I had our little girl 8lbs 4 oz 21 3/4 inches long at 11:16 am on September 22, 1992 I was 16 years old, my mom was a grandma by the time she was 35. I was in a lot of trouble then skipping school in and out of SRS custody My father came back into my life for a little while. but never stepped up to be a father. He had 2 other daughters at this time. When I was 17 they moved me to a group home for teen moms the best thing that ever happened to me, I went back to school and graduated only a semester behind my class, had a good job ok I was work at mcdonlads but it was enough to move out of the group home when i was almost 19 (social worker wanted to keep me until I was 21 and since I was a ward of the court she could of)I got my first car and my first apartment and I made it work with me and my little baby girl. When she was 3 I found my father and me and her came back home and moved in with him, then my step mom and sisters moved in with us we didnt get along so I moved back in with my grandparents, I met this guy he was a real jerk, the worst mistake ever, when my oldest daughter was 6 SRS took her from me and gave her to her father I just found out I was 6 weeks pregnant with her baby sister. I lost my job at mcdonalds that I worked at for 5 years as a manger. My car broke down my step dad the only man besides my grandpa was ever there for me, had a heart attack August of 99 I was pregnant dealing with that and trying to fight to get my daughter back, i was trying to find a job but who wanted to hire someone so far along, I was trying to get a place of my own, I feel into a deep depression so bad that I lost 10lbs in a week. Nov of 99 things just got worse 2 days before thanksgiving my grandmother the one that raised me went in for open heart surgery she had a massive heart attack on the table and they couldnt get the maching back on in time. She was in a coma for 2 weeks, and the drs told us she is gone there is no chance, so they decided to pull the plug, everybody kept telling me to not have that baby, they all belived that my baby was a connection to grandma, I was due on Decmeber 10,1999. They planned to take her off the maching on December 1st they didnt want me up there they were afraid I would have the baby, No problem 10:15pm Nobemeber 30. 1999 my water broke we went to the hosptial my baby girl was born at 4:53 am 7lbs 14 oz Sabrina Elizabeth Marie the most beatiful baby any of the nurses ever seen, they even took her to show her off. Now for 9 months I had 4 sonograms and each one told me that baby was a boy. She was named after my grandma which is Ellizabeth May, my mom which is Ada Marie, She was suppose to be little libby and she still is to my grandpa,my grandma was his life they would be married 68 years this coming June. They took grandma off the resperator at 10:15 am she took her first breath by herslef in 2 weeks, the nurse looked dead at my mom and said ok is everybody here and who is she waiting for, my mom said everybody is here and everybody has said their good byes I said mom the baby, she has waited for this little one for so long. I sat in that hospital bed hold my baby girl as tight as I could for the longest time. December 2nd doctor came in and said he wanted me to wait another day I said nope we told him what was going and he signed he papers at that min, i went from one hospital to the other, we laid that littlle baby girl in my grandmas arms and for a brief moment opened her eyes and looked at her we lost at 1am Dec. 8th,1999 we burried her on my due date. things just got worse, I was so depressed I held on to that baby a lot during that time, my husband went into prison when our little girl was a month old, I started making decisions right there and then that I am changing a few things, got a job at Walmart and went back to school. I met my husband now when my daugther was 6 months old she met him 2 months later, my ex was getting ready to spend 10 years in prison and he had his oldest daughter mon still around and they just had another baby it was time for me to get my life together and get out. I got our apartment Nov of 2000 with my husbands help. things got better for me and my new baby girl, I started to try to get a divorce but it cost so much nobody told me until a year later that since my ex was in prison I could get one for free. Me and my current husband a little nice surprise show up Jan 25th 2002 at 1:12 pm named James Casey Eugene 8lbs 1 oz 21 3/4 inches long the most black hair that i have ever seen. the papers to file for divorce it was final August of 2002. It took us another 4 years to get married. Just last June my husband became legally the only father that my little baby girl has ever known that little one that means the world to all of us is 9 years old now, my little angel that I thank god for the one that saved my life and dont even know it will be 17 this coming Sep and our little baby boy just turned 7, me and my husband have been together for almost 9 years and married 3. We have a little house next door to my mom, and stepdad, I have a lot of things be thankful for, aobut 4 years ago I found my baby girl, after her father took her from me and wouldnt let me to see her from the time she was 8 untils she was almost 12. We are close again and she loves her new step dad and her brother and sister and she loves having an older sister, that she got when I married my husband i got a 19 year old. Now she dont always have to be the oldest and she loves that. My kids are great and my husband is wonderful they mean the world to me.

Now why did I write this, every now and then I do this I guess a reminder what I really have, and what I have been through in 33 years and I guess I was meant to be on this earth for a reason. I just go through these spells where nothing makes since to me. I guess I get this way really when I miss my grandma but I know that she is up in heaven taking care of my little one that we lost 4 years ago. Jan 30, 2004. my husband birthday. Life is someting you never know what is going to be around the next corner. thank you all for listening, I feel a little better now.