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My Favortive Brother Andrew...A True Story of Love
- Feb 12, 2009 at 10:11 AM
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- Comments (41) Total Views (1061) Everyone can see this journal post.
I guess the best place to start is at the beginning...
We were living in Indiana at the time. My mother and father knew they wanted 6 kids before they got married and it didn't matter to them if they were biological children or not. They had 4 of us all 1 1/2 year apart. My parents were foster care providers for the area. My mother was a nurse in pediatrics. She loved being with those newborn babies. She had a LOT of patience as you can imagine she needed at home, so she was a natural nurturer. My father worked as an engineer.
There was a baby born with Down syndrome at the hospital where my mom worked. His mother couldn't take care of him with what was going on in her life so she carried him and gave him up. We will always be eternally greatful to her for giving him life. His own father didn't even know about him, the mom said it was a 1 night stand with a stranger.
The decision was made to put him in an institution as soon as a bed became available. (Now remember this was about 30 years ago) The doctor was concerned about him because he has absolutely no muscle tone and was being fed by a tube. His doctor asked my mom to work with him to see if she could get him on a bottle. She worked with him for a few hours at first. She checked to see if he had a sucking reflex and he did. After he got to sucking on her finger she worked a bottle in. It took some time but she was determined as was he.
He spent a few days in the hospital with mom working with him daily. Doing exercises and all. Turns out a family wanted to adopt him but were from out of state so the doctor asked my mom if she and my dad would take him for a while. They agreed and brought him home.......But not before momma got to name him in the hospital. The docs got tired of just calling him baby. My mom chose the name Andrew Christopher.
When he was 6 weeks old the family that wanted him before backed out saying they were looking for a girl instead. My dad told me he spoke to the social worker when she came by to tell them the status of his adoption. Dad spoke up while mom was in the other room and asked the social worker to consider them for his adopted family. My mom came out of the bedroom in tears and told my dad she wanted him too but was afraid to ask. Dad said they all cried on the front porch, the worker, mom & dad. They immediately starting saving the $100 a month they were getting for keeping him so they could pay for the adoption. I remember that night very well when they had a family meeting and asked us other 4 kids if we wanted Andrew for our brother forever. We of course all said YES!.
I remember going to the courthouse to finalize the adoption 6 months later. Mom and dad kept us out of school for this special occasion. I was nervous but the judge just wanted to know if we ALL were in agreement with this and we said YES. We got suckers from the judge and someone brought blue balloons that said Baby Boy on them. We also went to Baskin Robbins after the adoption. The adoption cost $600 dad said. (He spent this past weekend with me and filled me in on a LOT of stuff my 6 yr old mind at the time had forgotten....lol)
When he was 6 weeks old my mom started taking him to the chiropractor. She had a wonderful older pediatrician for us all. He recommended that we give him Black Strap Molasses in his bottles of formula and cereal (when he got older). This combined with his daily exercises were greatly toning him up and giving him muscle. Mom got a beach ball when he was 6 months old and would pull him across to her on it. (him on his tummy). He got to where he was reaching out to the floor to help catch himself. He went from his toes to his hands. He caught on very quickly. He never crawled properly, as he crawled just like Mowgli on the Jungle Book. On his hands and feet! Very cute! Went from there to walking. He was on target pretty much physically with all the interaction he was getting. I know he potty trained just like us by 18 months. He just liked to do things his own way. One of my favorite things he would do is to lay his coat on the floor and roll and come up wearing it......that thrilled him and we always clapped for him.
We never told Andrew he couldnt' do anything. He tried everything and taught himself to do several things to keep up with us older 4. He taught himself to swim, ride bikes and climb trees. Didn't want any help. We just encouraged him in whatever he wanted to do.
I remember one time.....oh this is embarrassing but might help someone else......lol = The first time Andrew got into a swimming pool he treated it just like a bathtub. Meaning he stripped his shorts off and jumped in the deep end! I remember my siblings just turning away out of embarrassment and I jumped in to get him......not knowing how to swim myself. But we made it out. So beware and tell your little ones to keep their suits on! lol.
My parents had my little sister 4 years later. They were looking into adopting another Down syndrome child when my mom ended up pregnant. They wanted only 6 so decided to focus on us. When the oldest was a senior in HS the youngest was just starting school.
We all went to 1 high school in town and Andrew went to another because they had a Special Ed there. He wasn't mainstreamed but did have a LOT of peer tutors. He was always found pushing someone in a wheelchair. One girl named Tiffany was one of his favorite friends. She had cerebral palsy and couldn't talk, but she sure could Smile.
He USED to wander off though and that terrified us. He would get on a bike and peddle about 15-20 miles away and would slip off without us realizing it. He did this about 2 times a year. Sooo scary But God was watching after him, he was always found safe and secure. We learned to chain up the bikes very quickly. We used to take turns sleeping in front of the front door so when he woke up at the crack of dawn he wouldn't wander off. He is past all that now. I really think one thing that helped is getting him a cell phone. He can only call folks in his phone on his network. He is sooooo proud of it and takes it with him everywhere! My number is the only one out of network but of course he has my # as well.
I can honestly say he is my favorite brother. We are very close. Everyone thought he was my child when I was a teen and in my 20's because where I went, he followed. I just took him everywhere. He especially enjoys going to the movie and getting a whopper afterwards. He is a Fantastic Date!
Lots of fun and laughs. He loves Star Wars, Men in Black, Mummy, Indiana Jones movies, just to name a few. He also loves his music. Toby Keith is his absolute favorite country singer! At night he always listens to Delilah (She does Love Songs nationwide telecast nightly). I called her on his 21st birthday and he got to talk to her. Made his night and year!
He does have a speech problem. Perfect strangers cannot understand him unless they are trained and know to really listen. Sometimes even our family cannot understand him so they all look to me. Somehow I figure it out and know what he is talking about. This is probably why I didn't notice my own dd had a speech delay because I could understand her. But she is in speech now....so that's good.
I have been divorced almost 6 years now and Andrew is the 1 constant positive male role model in my dd's life. I am even able to go out on a date now and then and he watches her for me. Its always close or at her bedtime so all he has to do is make sure she stays up in her room. He calls me if he has a problem or just to check on me. My male friend recently met both of them and Andrew shook his hand, said 'Nice to meet you, and bring her back at 10:00 o'clock'....lol. He put a curfew on me! We love to pick at each other and make each other laugh. He has taught me that you should appreciate every blessing and don't take anything for granted!
He is participating in Special Olympics again now. He did when he was in school but since he got out there wasn't an active team or anything where they were living. He stays primarily with my mother. Dad is a cross country truck driver so he isn't in much. He loves to visit family.
Here were I live I signed him up for basketball and he Loves it! He can really shoot well. 9/10 he hits a 3 pointer. He never takes the ball to the net, just shoots it from out there. He has shot basketball for years but this is his 1st real team so he is learning a lot of skills from them as well. They all learn to interact with each other and rely on each other so its pretty nice.
He also does bowling on Wednesdays. Its just the Down syndrome group that does it. He is very good actually. He has a very strong arm and gets at least 2-3 strikes each game. That tickles him!! We are going to keep him in this now and Track is next, then Softball. He has never played softball but does of course know how to play catch.
I know all of these special people have their own ways that make them Unique. Andrew likes to 'drive shoes, and VHS tapes.' He has been given Tons of cars from when he was very little and he never had an interest in them. That's just him.....SMILE.
Andrew loves to go to church and he copies all the songs and scriptures down. He has his own notebook and Bible he reads and carries. He CAN read but they have to be easier readers. He would rather watch his movies and listen to his music but in church he is all about his writing. He was baptized (his choice) I personally feel all Mentally Challenged adults/children are already going to Heaven no matter what! He also gets to lead singing at his congregation. That makes him feel good that he is participating and helping.
Andrew was very fortunate to not have many health problems at all. His heart is sound. He only had bad ear infections so he had to have tubes a few times. He is on Zantac, irritable bowel (he is lactose intolerant), and synthroid meds. So nothing major and that's a plus. He also has NEVER had to use deodorant. I just realized that! It is bought for him but No matter how much he sweats he NEVER stinks. No B.O. at all. Lucky sucker!
He told my parents he didn't want to work a regular job. He has a full time job in the summer of mowing my parents and neighbours grass. He gets the riding mower and gets the job done. HE also does the push mower if he needs to. Even I don't do the riding mower so he has definitely spoiled us! Mom has 2 elderly widowed women on either side of her and he does their lawn as well. Just because he likes to. Never expects $$ for it but they always give him something. Very sweet of them.
Andrew loves to do Handyman jobs as well. Helping out with 'the guys', is right up his alley. Riding in the pickup truck and drinking Gatorade.....lol.
When he stays with me I have him help me cook. He can use a microwave like a pro but is learning the oven/stove top now too. He loves to make Spaghetti and Sloppy Joes.
There is sooooo much more to share but I wanted to at least get this part out. He was always entirely welcomed by our whole extended family as well. If anything happens to my parents he will always be with family. We all want him with us so my parents got some hard decisions to make.....I just want him to be happy and be able to do his Special Olympics wherever he goes. It makes him sooooo happy.
I ask him if he wants to learn how to drive but he says he is not old enough yet.......same with the dating question....lol. He is precious! He has never had a girlfriend but who knows. None of us are stressing about it and neither is he.
I am thankful to Gloria for asking me to share Andrews Story and I hope yall enjoy and remember These Kids can do ANYTHING they want. May take them a bit longer, but they are determined and stubborn so use that to an advantage!
HUGS, -Becca
Written by shebearncub
Tags: down syndrome awareness
Comments:
amazing story,I wish there were more people in the world like you an your family
wow! This is so wonderful. Good luck to you all and I wish long lasting health for all of you.
Your story is so heartwarming to me. I have three children and my youngest has Down syndrome. I always hope that my children will always be close, always be there for one another and especially for Alex, and it is nice to see that it really can and often does work out that way. I can tell he is very precious to you and that you are very proud of him! Our extended family is the same, they all adore Alex (I think he even thinks he's a celebrity)! Thank you so much for sharing your story from a siblings point of view! I had tears in my eyes as I read it.
What a wonderful family. Your story was very touching.
Aw, man. You made me cry! Very happy tears. Thank you for sharing your story!
Made me cry.I love the part where you said that your parents have a tough decision when they pass because all you siblings want him.I pray to God that my other children love there brother like this...That's all I ask for.
AWWW>> shebearncub .. that's just WONDERFUL.. i loved reading it !
Positively inspirational.
What a beautiful story, thank you for sharing it. I have been wiping my eye's through out your story.
My Adam has Down syndrome , he is 3 1/2.
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What a great story! I noticed the Kentucky sweatshirt, do you live in KY? If so, whereabouts?