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Count Your Blessings.
- Feb 13, 2009 at 10:16 PM
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- Comments (19) Total Views (286) Everyone can see this journal post.
Five Highlights, direct from my Creator.
1. I got a package from my Dad today; inside were some envelopes, and one gift; a silver box. I never thought I'd hear from her again...turns out, she's been trying to send me mail since Christmas. In the Christmas card from December, she asked me to please have a relationship with her, even if just through mail. She misses me...
My birthday card, 2 months newer, brings the same plea.
And I just cant.
She's...not my sister. She's the daughter of a woman who's mother had an affair with a married man, then hid it for 20 years. THAT'S who she is.
Honesty CAN CRUSH A PERSON...so, I wont crush her with my feeling, or position on this "relationship" she and I have, but HONESTLY, I ADMIT, I want NOTHING to do with her.
I mean, who the hell is she?
Ah, and there was small note from her, in this smaller package within that held my birthday present...
"Dear Elle,
I miss you so much; I kept wishing you'd just write back to me, when I got all of my mail I sent your way BACK to me. All of it has cursive writing; "return to sender; no longer at this address".
I've sent it all to Dad's and asked him to pass it along to you since I am no longer privileged to your whereabouts. I want to move on mends, and get to know each other. I always wanted a Sister, but you'll have nother to do with me.
Im here, waiting to hear back. I'll be here forever. We're Sisters, Elle!
Love
A
Sent it to "Dads"?
"Dads".
Dad is a name I call my father.
Since I am an ONLY CHILD, doesn't this mean I am the only one who refers to him in the form of "Dad" in a direct...
Listen, the blessing here is that she's been thinking of me and loving me; regardless of how I have (or, perhaps, HAVE NOT) processed this.
There is so much she doesn't know; and why should she?
She's..a stranger.
Not my sister.
Love is love though; I lvoe her back. From here...in thought and well wishes.
2. The choices that WE ARE TRUSTED WITH IN LIFE blow my mind....
I have made my family; I have chosen my Sisters. They're the ones who were there for me when I've needed them.
I did choose to write her back.
3. Honesty is a BLESSING. Take it, and DANCE under the moon! It's a GIFT option....it's like... a wild card!
AND, you have an UNLIMITED AMOUNT OF OPPORTUNITY TO PULL THESE WILD CARDS.
All you have to do? Is tell it with LOVE, just like it is.
I do believe it can be done.
I was honest with that girl today, and Im honest with my Sisters; that way, there's never any question where anybody stands!
So easy...such a BLESSING, honesty is.
Think about it.
4. Cable Television is going to be CHOPPED into NEAR NIL in this house!
Yep, a HUGE blessing. Know why?
We'll finally get "The Smurfs".
I CANT WAIT!
5. No matter the weather, NO MATTER HOW BAD IT MIGHT FEEL, HOW COLD IT MIGHT GET, HOW DRAINED YOU MIGHT FEEL, I know that we're all prepared for it.
We've been blessed, from before conception, with the ability to take on whatever unfolds before us.
Today, when I picked my pre-schooler up from his Valentines Day Party, he ran over to me, and handed me a heart shaped lady bug with wax paper wings...
It was beautiful; I instantly wished I was little again. If only it was this easy to please my Mother...
"It's the process, not the product", I heard his smiling teacher say to me kindly.
"It's perfect", I told her. And, honestly, it is.
I couldn't say a word to him, or I was going to cry.
Happy Valentines Day, Sisters.
Count your blessings.
xo
Elle
Comments:
awww my littlest is into huge neck breaking rib bruiding hugs suddenly... give it time with your sister elle. I can imagine it was aa shock but keep in mind she was a child with no say in the matter. It takes 2 to tango and I am sure she is just as confused as you... she is reachign out which is good. God puts people in our paths for a reason... we may not like it but there it is now what we do with it is the trick....where will you go with it? As always much love to you..
Happy Valentine's Day to my daughter ♥ (You can ALWAYS please this mom just by being YOU)
Love you, Sweetie! I am blessed to have you as a Sister...you are amazing! Happy Valentine's Day!!
Just time can heal deep wounds....maybe in some months/yrs you are going to see your sister with other eyes..all of us are connected...if she is on your life, i am sure is because a new lesson have to be learned.
anyways, i love you :) smile, and enjoy your life, what you are doing now, tomorrow will be past.
SMILE!
I'm sorry about the "mail"....I love that your "Little Man" made you a Valentine...so sweet!!
Happy Valentine's Day to YOU!!! x♥
oh Elle. I love you to little tiny pieces but this post really made my heart hurt. I can't help but immediately feel sorry for "that girl." Maybe it's my sympathetic nature... I have sympathy for damn near everyone... but you do know it's not her fault that her dad is your dad too right? I don't mean anything by that at all.. I have lots of family that I just don't know that well and don't keep in contact with and I would NEVER judge you for choosing not to have a relationship with someone... and she does sound kind of needy which is always off putting and scary.. at least to me. I guess maybe my heart hurt for you more than her. Because you sounded angry at this girl for something her mother and your father did.... and she's just not the right person to take that anger out on... you know? She sounds lost. like someone who never really got to be a part of her family. but it wasn't her fault. But lots of us are lost and missing family. You don't have to fill that void. I guess I'm just trying to say.. in my opinion... if I were you.. I wouldn't be too upset at her, I would just feel sorry for her.
I hope I didn't cross a line here Elle. I just wanted to say something because I really felt alot of pain from this post. You know I love you and completely understand that my two cents is just that. :) barely two cents. You know whats best and I hardly know. :)
I love you.
Nicole
Happy Valentines Day!
EXCUSE ME????
DOES ANYONE REMEMBER WHAT SHE PUT ME THROUGH WHEN I TRIED TO LOVE HER???
Does ANYONE remeber her asking me, HE RBRAND NEWLY FOUND SISTER SHE ALWAYS WANTED for a RENTAL CAR FOR THE WEEK???
How about when she wanted to move in with me because she and her mom had NO PLACE to go?
Save your sympathy for her, "friends".
Just save it.
Fuck, that just pissed me OFF.
Wow...did anyone read the REST of this journal, or are we too busy feeling sorry for my MOOCHING SISTER?????
Pfft.
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much love to you to my sister!
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