For Sale: Depression

[Hoomom]

It's not all bad, really.  Depression can be very spiritual and cathartic, allowing your mind to explore possibilities and shuffle through memories and emotions usually kept boxed away.  Rather like gardening.  Digging through the hard soil can be painful, difficult, but loosen up all that dirt and it will be ripe to accept seeds for new growth.

Or like when a hungry little catterpiller finally builds a coccoon, and inside that coccoon gets all squishy and messed up for a long time, unable to do anything but her own little work, useless to the world until that amazing day when she breaks out of her little coccoon and emerges a beautiful butterfly.

So if you are missing depth in your life, if you've been happily splashing in the shallow end of the pool, why not purchase my Patented Depression? 

How can you do this, you ask?

Quite simple, actually.

While many things can cause depression, or contribute to depression, February itself being a major player here, I've come to the conclusion that the sudden and signifigant loss of money is one of the best instigators of depression.

Likewise, a person struggling, once again, to put shoes on her kids feet and get them to appropriate therapies (autism) and schools (three kids, three different schools) would probably experience an amazing reversal of her general emotional state if a large sum of money were to suddenly fall into her hands.  She might fall to her knees and cry for a few minutes, but sure enough, after paying off the electric company for that really cold month and getting those shoes for Henry, she would surely break out of that cocoon of depression and emerge joyful and radiant.  Her children would stop having their individual and unique crisis (Zot threatening to kill his entire Head Start class is only one example of how bad things have gotten) and her husband would stop worrying about finding his wife dead some night.

Alright, so depression may sound threatening.  But it reallly only scares the people around you-----I certainly haven't contemplated suicide, it's not my fault I look so glum people assume it's on my mind.  But I'm telling you, depression will TRANSFORM you. 

I'm currently being transformed.  Telling myself this keeps me going from day to day.  I was supposed to go to a shrink today, but she cancelled at the last minute.  Now I must wait until March.  Alright.  I can do this.  I can do this.  I can do this. Growing wings and antennae and stuff.   

My idea, though.  All you, out there, who want a really transforming experience.  You who are tired of everything being so predictable, stable, safe, comfortable, and cheerful.  Don't go on vacation.  When you go on vacation, you are still YOU-----unless you go on one of those Total Recall vacations, but I don't reccomend that.  No---------Contact me.  Send me your money.  A great deal of it.  So much that it really makes a dent.  Then when you realize what you've done, and your family realizes what you've done and they start screaming at you and trying to have you committed, and you realize what a terrible idea that was, I guarantee you will spiral down into a very therapeutic depression, with all the promise of future transformation. 

And when you are really, really low, you can remind yourself that you are a GOOD person, because you helped another mom who was struggling. 

There. Now that felt good.

[AmmuJSE]

Feb. 18, 2009 at 12:40 AM

Good to clear that out! I miss you! Come back to us when your ready.

[2nsmom]

Feb. 18, 2009 at 9:30 AM

[Avrille]

Feb. 21, 2009 at 8:16 AM

Oh sweetie...join the club! But there's always hope for brighter days!

[mom2simon]

Feb. 28, 2009 at 1:06 PM