Sign of the times.

[MearaFayak]

So tomarrow is Aislyn and Maelie's birthday.  Not only do I have to face yet another day with out my mamamam girl, but I dont have a birthday present for my Aislyn... Didn't have any money to get anything.  AND I'm still trying to get Jerry home to me for this weekends party.  AND Now it looks like his job situation is changeing up again.  I guess I wont be booking loads for him any more.  He is going to be going back to the local stuff, but he still cant stay here every day. SO that dosnt change a whole lot.  We are most likely going to have to move.  I dont know how we are going to pay bills. And unless we get a gift from God we may or may not have a job for him and I'll proabbly have to put Aislyn into daycare and go find work myself.

I dont know if my old work can stil take me back. I'm really trying to not freek out. Jerry keeps saying be calm and relax things will be ok but I'm haveing trubble breathing.

Life just dosnt get easier does it.?  never ever ever.

Pleasee God find a way to help us make it threw all of thisl.

All my emotions are so close to the surface right now that this stress alone is makeing me cry.  And that brigns up pics of maelie in my head. That and this pic I found of Aislyn that I took on my phone the other day that matches a pice of maelie dead so closly its scary. The first pic is of Maelie after she passed away I'm holding her and the photographer took this over my sholder...  The second is  Aislyn sleeping on me just the other day.all I can say i WOW