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To my Christian sisters regarding the recent negativity on CM
- Feb 19, 2009 at 5:06 PM
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- Comments (60) Total Views (1540) Everyone can see this journal post.
I’m writing this to you because scripture tells us to spur one another on toward love and good deeds (Heb 10:24). The word is to be used for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness so we may be equipped to do every good work (2 Tim 3:16-17). I’m writing this to you particularly because scripture says I have no reason to expect non-Christians to be obedient to God’s law (Rom 8:7-8; 1 Cor 2:14). Not that they can’t be or won’t be, but that I shouldn’t expect them to be.
I’ve been part of a bible study at church and the last 3 weeks we’ve been discussing taming the tongue. Today it struck me how beneficial the verses we’ve been discussing would be for Christians here on CM. We need to remember the power of our words for good and for bad.
The tongue has the power for great good. It spreads knowledge (Pr 15:7), tells of God’s righteousness (Ps 35:28), utters wisdom and speaks justice (Ps 37:30; Pr 10:31), and brings healing (Pr 12:18). It also has the power for great evil. It lies, gossips, crushes, accuses, curses, slanders, destroys, divides friends, and much much more. Of course what comes out of our mouths (or keyboards) is just a symptom of what is in our hearts. We are sinners and should not be surprised when that sin reveals itself in our words, but as Christians we are to strive for something more. We are no longer slaves to sin, so we are free to glorify God with our obedience. Our obedience is not to earn us a better standing with God, but should be done out of gratitude for Christ’s finished work on our behalf. Of course we will fail constantly, but that is when we are to repent. Our lives should be a constant cycle of repentance and faith.
So how are we to glorify God with our words on CM? Here are some verses (all from the ESV version) to think about and I will add emphasis on the pertinent parts:
- Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
- Proverbs 15:28 The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things.
- Proverbs 17:27 Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.
- Ecclesiastes 5:2 Be not rash with your mouth, nor let your heart be hasty to utter a word before God, for God is in heaven and you are on earth. Therefore let your words be few.
- 2 Corinthians 12:20 For I fear that perhaps when I come I may find you not as I wish, and that you may find me not as you wish—that perhaps there may be quarreling, jealousy, anger, hostility, slander, gossip, conceit, and disorder.
- Ephesians 4:29-32 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
- 1 Timothy 5:13-14 Besides that, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not. So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander.
- Titus 2:3-5 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
- Titus 3:2 to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.
- 1 Peter 2:12 Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation.
- 1 Peter 3:15-16 but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame.
What I have learned from all of this is that we should be slow to respond and think about how best to respond. We should always respond with truth and if we aren't sure, it's best not to respond. When we do respond it should not be quarrelsome, hostile, conceited, bitter, wrathful, angry, slanderous, or malicious. All this does is stir up anger and gives others a reason to slander and revile us. We should respond with gentleness, kindness, tenderheartedness, forgiveness, self-control, courtesy, honor, and respect. If we respond this way we will turn away wrath and glorify God.
We should give others no reason to call us out, no reason to delete our posts, no reason to complain about how Christians are hateful and mean. If we offend someone, purposefully or inadvertently, we should humble ourselves and be quick to apologize. I have used “we” and “us” throughout this post because I include myself in all of this. I am by no means perfect and this is all a lesson for me as well.
Before we ever hit the “post” button on any message we should ask ourselves several questions. Is this true? Is this beneficial? Have I said this in a gentle, respectful manner? Does this bring glory to God?
There is a way to expose the darkness in this world and it is by shining the light of the gospel where ever we go. It is the gospel that has the power to change us as well as the world.
Comments:
I agree with this whole heartidly .... the back and forth fighting needs to stop and Christians need to remember to which standard they hold themselves to.
I agree, GREAT post! I understand the passion many have in desiring to "set people right." The problem with that is, a person convinced against their will, is of the same opinion still. A good example of that is a teenager being nagged to clean up his room. You talk til you're blue in the face, and eventually you may get him to clean up his room with the sole purpose of shutting you up. But guess what? The rebellion and the storm is still raging inside. KWIM?
Not only that, in getting into tit for tat exchanges, we become like what the Proverbs 24:6 warns us against... "Do not answer a fool with his own folly [stupidity], or you will be like him." I think believers forget that Paul told us, "One plants, one waters, but it is God who causes the growth."
"One plants, one waters, but it is God who causes the growth."
Thanks Brie .... this is a great reminder!
A good reminder for us all.
Would you mind if I shared this with a friend of mine who is not on your list?
I am not a Christian, but I completely agree with your message. All of us should think before we speak, good or bad. I think this message applies to all of us, Christian or not. We are all mothers. We are raising children. How can we teach them compassion and tolerance without practicing it ourselves. Thank you for posting this, and thank you for being honest.
callmeann, please do share it. I would love for every Christian on CM to see this, not because it's my message, but because I care about how the world sees us and how it reflects on our Savior.
JZamora13, Ideally I would love for everyone in the world to behave this way. What a wonderful place this could be. :-)
Thanks for this.
Now if only some "agree-ers" would only follow up with actions.
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This is most excellent kfrances .... voted popular!
I agree 1000%, it's time to start implementing Biblical wisdom in our dealing on Cafemom. Afterall what does Proverbs 31 say about the Righteous Woman?
Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
- Eilish
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