AAAHHHH!!! Why is everyone so frustrating??

[CallaLily08]

For the past couple of months my daughter Lily has grown increasingly attached to me. Whenever she cries, instead of crying for Dada like she used to, she cries for me, Mama. She gets so excited to see me, and she prefers me to hold her over anyone else. Having her be so close to me is so exciting and rewarding. It makes me feel like I'm doing right by my daughter. However, as wonderful as this may be, my excitement is short lived because many people seem to have a problem with her attachment to me. When her dad is holding her or feeding her or whatever the case is, and Lily starts asking for me, he tells her, "No mama, only Dada." Or if she reaches out to me, he won't give her to me. That's so hurtful. He's not the only one. My in-laws do it too!! Whenever she starts crying and looking at me and calling for me, they will take her before I can get to her, or will say,"No, what about Grandma or Grandpa?" Or when I pick her up from their home, and Lily gets excited to see me and reaches for me to pick her up, my mother-in-law holds onto to her for dear life. As if it were a crime for a child to be so close to her mom.

A few months ago when the only person Lily wanted was her dad, no one said anything. Oh they were all so excited that Lily is so close to her dad! oh how wonderful! And how terrific it is that Lily gets excited to see her grandparents and that she wants them to hold her. That is perfectly ok. This, they do not have a problem with. However, heaven forbid Lily now just wants to be with her mom. Now, everyone has a problem with it! Why? Why is it so terrible, or so hard to believe that a child wants her mother? I take care of her. I feed her, bathe her, play with her, teach her new things, and so on. I'm here with her all the time. Is it my problem that her dad seems to be too busy for her? Is it my fault that her grandparents do not make it a point to come over and see her anymore? No. It's their own. There is only so much that I can do. There are only so many times that I can set aside time for Lily and her dad to play together, or just spend time together. There are only so many times that I can tell my in-laws to call me and I will bring Lily over to them. It's so disappointing and hurtful that they don't understand how exciting it is for my daughter to be so close to me. I would hope that they'd be happy that Lily is so close to me and so happy to be with me. I would think that it'd make them think that I'm doing a good job raising my child.

She's not a preemie sized child. She's off all of her meds, off of her monitor, she no longer needs to see any specialist. She's a happy, healthy, thriving little lady, and that's because of my hard work. Why don't they get it??

She has one mom....stop trying to change that!!!!!

[luvmybaby323]

Feb. 24, 2009 at 12:12 AM

I totally sympathize with you.  I understand how hurtful it is when others don't appreciate that special bond that a daughter has with her mother.  All I can say is hang in there.  You sound like a great person and an awesome mom.  Don't worry about what your In-laws say...or do...no matter how much they are going to try to tend to her instead of giving her to you...Lily knows her mom and she will always come to you...Just ignore the negative energy...even though it is hard to at times. 

[CallaLily08]

Feb. 24, 2009 at 6:16 PM

Thanks! that's vey sweet of you. It is so hurtful, I don't understand it. You're right though, she does know me and they can't change that.

(Original Poster)

[carolina0416]

Feb. 25, 2009 at 10:33 PM

I understand you completely..Maria is all about me and I Love it but sometimes it can be tiring. I can't ever go to the bathroom by myself anymore. she has to be in there with me, especially when she just wakes up in the morning

I'm sure the in-laws are just jealous about the bond that you and lily have. Maybe this will help them realize that they need to spend more time with their grand daughter and less time talking about it..Just hang in there and ignore what there saying.

[CallaLily08]

Feb. 27, 2009 at 10:23 PM

I hear ya!! I don't even remember when was the last time I peed with the door closed. It is really sweet, and I love that she's so close to me, but you're right, sometimes it's tiring. I think my in-laws think it's my fault. They'll ask me when they can see her again, and I tell them anytime, just call me. They never call me, they don't really come over, and I don't think it's my responsibility to call them. I will give them credit for calling Darren everyday and asking abt Lily, but as far as coming over....it doesn't happen.

Thanks...i'm glad other ladies understand!

(Original Poster)