God as parent.....

[boyita]

 A friend of mine recently made two comments that have me thinking, and please bear with me while I put my thoughts together...

First, he said he doesn't believe in God, and if he did it would be an old testament God... since there aren't any lightning bolts zapping out bad guys left and right, he concludes there is no God.  Second, he made known to us that his own father got high and drunk every night.  Since his parents were divorced and his mother wasn't - let's say - very maternal, he lived with his dad.  This made his childhood one in which he spent much time hiding out in his room trying to stay unnoticed and out of trouble. 

Given that my friend is very intelligent, and that he successfully grew out of his home and into his own beautiful family, I got to thinking about his views on God and his experiences.

Nobody would love a God that treated them like some fathers treat their children: neglect (and in some cases that is the best situation), abuse, demands and expectations, very little real praise or few loving words.  Same goes for moms...  And if that is your view of a parent, then when someone tells you that God is your heavenly Father, what motivation do you have to get close to God?  My friend certainly has zero motivation.  God, as he experienced Him growing up, isn't very useful to him.

But there's more.  There's the thought that God is ultimately useful.  My own husband grew to know a God that is the kind of Father he wants to become!  Yes, there are rules, and consequences.  But there is also plenty of love and fun!  If his father didn't know how (or want) to portray that side of God to him, he still found his way through other means. 

So the question entered my mind about God as a parent, as a role model for parenting, and about what kind of parents we want to become.  The question is not, then, what I would say to my children when they ask me the tough questions about sex (for example).  The question is:

Will I be the kind of parent that my children will be comfortable asking all kinds of tough questions to?

My father was.  We were able to talk about anything, and often did.  Husband's father wasn't, and still isn't.  I always had a view of God the Father who was open to all kinds of discussions, who had the right answers even when they weren't easy, who always had the right word to comfort and encourage.  I believe He often used my own father and mother for that.  I didn't always like the answers, but I felt comfortable asking the questions.  And there was no question that there were limits on what we could and couldn't do.  Still are. 

My friend wants to be the kind of father whom his daughters turn to with the tough questions.  Who will he learn it from?