need to vent

[rebeccausn]

ok So I am in a tough situation. I am a single parent because my daughters father is in jail for charges prior to me dating him. So here it goes; he calls me tonight like he does every night. We get onto the subject of tables ( which I am supposed to be looking into buying one) He asks me if I got the buyers guide while I was out going to work but then found out it was my day off. I told him No I did not stop and get one because traffic was hell all day long due to an accident on the highway. So he gets mad about it and asks why I did not get one at the post office. Well for one I was in a hurry to get back home to my daughter. And I also did not see any buyers guide there. So he tells me that I cannot handle responsibility. Well then what the hell am I doing to our daughter if I cannot handle responsibility?? I know he is just talking out of his butt because he is mad; but still. My mom watches our daughter for me while I go to work, and he tells me what would you do if your Mom wasn't there. I told him that if she did not want to watch the baby that I would put her in daycare. I am not that irresponsible and I do make sound choices and decisions. I guess the thing that he doesn't understand is I don't have all the time that I want to spend with our daughter. And when I can I want to be with her as much as possible. I already feel guilty because I have to work and I am missing out on some of her life. I guess my thing is he doesn't realize how much time it takes out of my day to be a good parent to our daughter and I guess he won't realize that until he has to spend a whole day with her. I just wish he would understand that I have to be Mom and Dad plus keep a household going, spend quality time with our daughter and dog, and go to work. This is all new to me so I am still adjusting to being a working mom plus keeping the house in a somewhat presentable shape. I feel better know. Thanks for anyone who is reading this. I know that he still loves me and our daughter but he doesn't realize all that goes into my day.

[MemawBrie]

Feb. 24, 2009 at 11:54 PM

YOU can't handle responsibility??? He's the one in jail!  At least you've got sense enough not to get yourself arrested.  Men, ugh!

[Julie411me]

Feb. 25, 2009 at 12:00 AM

He's got a lot of nerve putting YOU down.  You are the responsible one. 

He's going off on something that is not important to try to drag you down to his level of misery and self-loathing.  Keep your guard up.  He sounds like a real control freak. 

If you were my daughter I would be secretly hoping for you to find someone new who respects you and the good job you are doing.

I'm sorry if this is rude or hurtful to you.  Certainly, I don't know either of you, but from the info provided, I call it as I see it.

Keep up the good work in making a good life for you and your daughter.  And give your mom a nice big hug for all her support.

 

[divinity80921]

Feb. 25, 2009 at 12:03 AM

Thank you, MemawBrie for saying what I wanted to say. And thank you Julie411me for adding to it.

[MemawBrie]

Feb. 25, 2009 at 12:30 AM

I really think you need to do some long, hard thinking sweetie.  If he's being this controlling and verbally abusive to you BEFORE you marry him, what will he be like afterwards?  Be sure you know what you're getting yourself in to.