Fuji Finepix, Hot or Not Edition!

[dawnharvey68]

Fuji Finepix, Hot or Not Edition

By Mark Wilson, 7:20 PM on Thu Jan 29 2009, 8,481 views

Every new camera on the market is touting some powerful facial recognition software. But according to Gizmodo engineers, there's a lot more that can be done.

Straight from our R&D department, we've received this crude mockup of a "Hot or Not" Fuji Finepix camera. It features:

· Attractive Facial Recognition

If you've got it, flaunt it! Finally, a camera made by beautiful people, for beautiful people. A heart-shaped matrix surrounds the heads of worthy and automatically snaps the shutter at peek hotness levels (smiles, lustful gazes, or just staring off in the distance with absolutely nothing, and we mean nothing, going through your mind).

· 14 Megapixels

Take sharp photographs that can be enlarged for family, friends and guys who say they're agents! Choose between "billboard" and "ultra big billboard" sizes and just wait for your face to go on the next Gap sign, or just a very high resolution amateur pornography site.

· Audio Alert If "Third Friend" Detected In Fram

While competitor's products can become confused if two hot friends are standing next to a third, unattractive friend, snapping a shot none the wiser, the Fuji Finepix is equipped with a blazing fast processor that picks out the frumpy with greater accuracy than humans in clinical trials.

· Ugly Facial Deletion

Maybe it was a platonic friend. Maybe it was just a fat kid. It's not their fault (well, maybe it is), but the last thing you need is to fold photos in half to cut out the troll standing beside you. The FinePix will autocrop the ugly subject out, or just put a big "X" over their face along with some stink lines.

· Self-Portrait Mode (may not function for all customers

A special auto shutter takes shots as soon as your beautiful face enters the frame. And it will not stop taking pictures until it either runs out of batteries or you gain the freshman fifteen.

· Wireless Uploading to Facebook

The Finepix makes sure every single picture you ever shoot uploads instantly to Facebook, in duplicate, just in case. Automated metatagging includes "hot person who would never think they were hot" and "Barbizon 2009."

Coming Christmas 2009, pending our lawyers can figure out the clear licensing issues and those ab growth pills we ordered out of the back of Men's Fitness ever start working.

[SxdUpAngel]

Mar. 3, 2009 at 11:29 AM

I had a dream about Hanson the other night!

[kimberleee382]

Mar. 3, 2009 at 1:20 PM

Wow....

And I thought I was shallow...

 

[kimberleee382]

Mar. 3, 2009 at 1:22 PM

On the plus side, I never have to worry about incriminating pictures of me during my bad hair years or when I'm caught without makeup on circulating about..

cause my face will be X-ed out

[RanaAurora]

Mar. 3, 2009 at 8:00 PM

Um... wow.