OK so these are the last few blogs... C&Ped here from the past week or so...

[tat2edmommyof2]

Thursday Feb. 26

So yeah i had this whole big schpeel typed out and then went to open my work emails and lost what I had already typed...Arghhhh! But here goes again...
Shawn is beginning his third week at the academy on Monday...As of today's date the girls and I have survived without him for 16 days and are going strong! Only 9 more weeks of craziness to survive and we can go and watch him graduate in NM...
So yeah, week 2 for him has been fairly kind. His attitude sounds 100% better. He no longer seems to down trodden or distraught which is awesome! In short this week, he has gotten a mark of 84 on his first test. That means he only missed 4 questions! He also came in, in the top 10 on his 2 mile run in PT and has practiced the C course with little difficulty and came in under time! He was also selected to design his classes shirt which is really cool. 
All of your prayers and positive thoguhts are getting us through this...Just remeber to keep sending good voodoo for "body armor"...His mind and ability are of no question, we just need him to stay safe and unbroken.
The girls are doing amazingly well... More so than I can believe. Lily has little fits here and there and Shi has decided that half way thru the night she has to get in my bed...which means Lily joins us there sometime before dawn. But really considering what hey could behaving like I don't mind wiping an extra teary eye or scooting over in the bed. I think the main problems stem from their inability to expreess some of their emotions. We talk about Daddy being gone and why he's gone and when we'll be together again but the overwhelming sense of "missing someone" is hard to get an almost 5 year old to talk about. Shi has fewer problems saying I miss daddy and everytime she does we talk about how I miss him too and he misses us and he loves us and that seems to brighten her right up...
Besides that everything is going good... Their preschool life is good and Lily is whizzing thru her letters. I have no doubts she'll be reading on her own by the end of the year... Shi is doing amazing number of crafts and is improving so drastically it's so incredible to watch.... Shi's bday passed without much excitement. Her parties were good (see pictures) and she loved her presents! I can hardly believe she's 3 now... And Lily is planning her party as we speak. I can only hope I can make it as nice as she has it in her head... We'll be going with a princess theme. I hope and pray people actually show up to her party. I don't think I could handle nobody showing like happened at Shi's... ANd he party will more than likely be the saturday before Spring Break starts...so it's not even like I could do a follow up party during snack like we did for Shi... Arghhhhhhhhh! I refuse to dwell on it, lol.
And me... I am fanfuckingtastic. And I mean that sincerely. Things here are good. I'm toning up and losing some weight from toting monkeys,laundry, groceries, dog and everything else by myself. I am focusing on what I eat and when I eat it. And of course that makes me very happy...
I am so much more in control of the house and the girls and our lives than I expected to be it's come as such a relief. Our schedule flows right together and I feel confident...Which is awesome.
In the past 2 days, I have resolved most of our tax issues. I will be contacted in the next 30 days to resolve my 2007 problems and have printed and am preparing to mail my 2008 since my efile was rejected. I sorted out Shawn's rejection and re efiled for him. YAY! I have also ordered my divorce kit and will start preparing those documents. I qualify for legal aid thank god, and will sort out all of my legal going ons then. That will include Lily's legal name change and some other shit. YAY! I am so thrilled. I can't even explain how happy I am. I feel so accomplished and have taken care of so many things I'm just thrilled with myself and looking for some recognition lol. I've also gotten a million and half other little things taken care of and I am working on our loan application and working with the realtor... I've also followed up with my attorney in FL and I hope, oh how I hope something comes from that.
And well life is life... I am in the process of getting a copy of my medical records over here so I can hopefully get some of my girly stuff taken care of. The girls will get appointments made for the doctors as soon as I have hunny's insurance cards. I continue to keep myself busy in the hopes that the time between now and May will fly quickly... I know between May aad July I won't have time to sneeze between getting ready to move and everything...Which makes me happy.
So yeah that's about all I can think of for right now. I'll try to keep thing supdated and let all of you, my wonderful friends and family know what's going on with us...

My stepmother, Lisa, goes to court for the custody hearing today. Please, please, pleas eask the univerese to make thing sgo as smoothly on her as possbile and ask that the courts swiftly do what is right for my Mia. 
I reallty would rather have as little involvement in all of this as possible (short of terminating my rights and helping Lisa do an adoption) but I will do whatever is nescecaryt o keep that child safe and away from my abusers. Pray please, that I don't have to do much outside of what I've already done or am willing to do.
In additon to custody shit, my lunatic of a mother is trying to file a suit against Lisa for palimony. I mean. anyone that knows the story knows there's no way in hell any judge in their right mind would grant her anything..It's just the fact hat she feel she has to sink so low, cause Lisa so much more aggrivation. It's never enough for the Wicked Bitches of the East and I'm so sick of them trying to manipulate the courts to their sick and twisted games.
I thank the heavens that I have managed to escape unscathed so far (minus the car and the phone and losing the only person that has ever been there for me and losing my mother again).
There is very litle they can do to touch me at this point but I am kind of surprised they have'nt tried any of them yet. BUT KNOCK ON FUCKING WOOD!
So yeah that's the Lisa update...I'll post more once I talk to her tonight and find out what's going on... In the mean time keep us in your thoughts please.

Thursday March 5

So yeah... I FINALLY talked to Lisa last night. Thank heavens, cause that put some of my jangling nerves to rest.
They were supposed to have court last Thursday but apparently were able to mediate things thru the lawyers without having to go before the judges.
Mia remains with Lisa. My mother has been granted overnights every other weekend form Saturday to Sunday. During her weekly visitation she is to have Mia home by 5:30 unless she does her homeworjka nd my mother serves her dinner. What kind of adult needs to be courtpo ordered to feed a child? Oh yeah, my mother becasue she thinks she should'nt have to be anything more than playtime since she only gets to see her on a limited basis now. Yeah but anyways...
Everything fell thru with the house. I don't know if that means the place Lisa was going to buy or if it means everything fell thru with selling the house. Either way she and Mia are moving as we speak. Lisa signed the lease yesterday and gets her keys on Friday. Her sister will be ther eto help start moving things in this weekend and the BIG move is next weekend. Oddly enough, the apartments they are moving in to are the apartments Lisa spent much of her youth in, the place her sister had her "place" in, the palce I almost moved to when I was looking for a place in Jersey, lol... But they've redone the interiors completly from what Lisa says and the neighborhood is nice enough. Mia will be in close proximity to her best friend and will get to attend the same schools he's been going to, which is great. The less turbulence they have to experience at this point the better.
I have'nt heard anything about the palimony agreement thing but I'll ask her when I talk to Lisa next.
And apparently I have a package coming in. The other day when my mother returned Mia to the house she handed Lisa an envelope and asked her to mail it to me. Lisa accepted it at first and then thought better and handed it back to her. Lisa's thinking was that it was something hateful, hurtful or something to fill me with an unbearable sense of guilt. (My mtoher is well KNOWN for the all mighty letter) I actually asked Lisa last ngiht if she remembers the one my mother wrote while I was in Devereaux...She could'nt but my grandmother still has a copy. It's 4 pages of the most horrible and creul things you could say to a child. It ends with how I am dead to her and that my name carries no weight on her conscience. Thank you, I love you too Mommy Dearest.  ( I still forgave her and I told her I loved her, and have done so at least a dozen times since, I'm an idiot what can I say?)
Anyways, after Lisa hands the package back my mother explains its my baby book. What point is there in sending me my baby book except to attampt to fill me with some sort of remorse or unbearable guilt. Her comment to Lisa during this exchange was a choked "I'll never see her again"
Like that should come to any surprise!?!?!
I mean really given any scenario, where one person was intolerably cruel to another for oh say 25 years, has abused someone mentally, emotional and physically, has caused more hardship and pain than thought possible for that person and then tops it all off by screaming things of a horrible nature and then hanging up and not speaking to that person in 6 months?
Would you let anyone that treated you like this anywhere near you again?
But yeah it's her fault I have no desire to talk to her but still...
At thispoint I can see what her sending the package is...an extension of her psychosis. I can accept it for what it is.
If in some warped way it makes her feel any better about herself to know she sent it, well wonderful.
I know it will ease Lisa's mind to send it.
So yeah, we'll see.
And in less puzzling/troubling/thought requiring news.... I just got off the phone with Shawn. He has still not gotten any results from the MRI, we'll hopefully have those sometime this afternoon. But he's still on bedrest, will call to find out if they got results and the doctor told him that regardless if something blatant shows up on the MRI or not the doctors KNOWS that there is something wrong with his back. So we'll wait and see...
He's also been medically exscused from his final for the time being but felt he did REALLY well on the test he took this morning. Hopefully we'll get to see a great score on that.  And then when he does take the fianl he'll do well. He's got another test scheduled at lunch time tomorrow and I can only hope he keeps feeling confident in the academic side of things...
So yeah, that's that for now... I'll update if I hear anything else today and of course you can always catch me on YAhoo IM if you have something pressing to tell me lol.
The girls are good...They both went to bed without supper last night after some fits that they are lucky they lived through. But were fine this morning. They know they hit the poop list last ngiht and I'm hoping for a much better evening tonight. I know in part it has to do with Shawn being gone still, but I'm over it at this point. I won't accept intolerable behaviors from them and they know it. They're seeign how far they can push Mommy before she snaps and I think they may have learned that lesson last night. I hope at least.
And I am well...still jsut plugging right along. I have an eye appointment on Monday...YAY! I'll have glasses again and I'm finding PCP's for the girls. My medical records should be over this way shortly and I can transfer over to Women and Childrens...
Yeah ok so now, that's about it...more to come I'm sure...

 

Friday March 6

 

So yeah...
He called me in the afternoon yesterday after getting off the phone with the doctors. The MRI showed a great amount of damage and he spat out a  grocery list of letters and numbers and what is wrong with each..but of course that only translated to fucked at that point to me... 
The doctor on site was hesitant about what even to say to him about the extent of his back injuries and scheduled him immiediatly to see a specialist nearby. The only real helpful thing we gleaned at this point was the local doc saying that he needed to go to the specialist before he was traveling all over the place.
After the trip to the specialist I got another call...The long and short of it is the damage he did there is limited to TWO (2) Herniated discs and torn vertebrea?!?!?!? Ummm yeah.
There was some other "damage" in the area but more than likely he was born with it according to the doc. They could quite clearly tell on the MRI what was new injury and what was old damage.
So yeah... he's been ordered to 30 days bedrest right off the bat and has been refferred to a neurosuergon here in Mobile. The most limited course of treatment will be physical therapy and steroid shots. But more than likely he's looking at fairly extensive back surgery.
He meets with the WC/HR person today to determine things for the near future and figure out what  the options are. He also meets with his senior officers to determine other things academic wise and what not. It is our hope that by the end of this afternoon we will know when he will be coming home.
So yeah...besides that he scored a 92 on the test he took yesterday! He only missed 2 questiosn and I am just so freaking proud of him. I always knew he'd do well with the academic side of it but his GPA has to have a positive impact on things when he goes to look for a different job with the gov right? I mean how could it not?
He still does'nt know if he has to take any other tests today or what other academics he will have to complete before he is "discharged" but we'll find out shortly I'm sure and I'll fill y'all in just as soon as I know.
Thank you all so much for being so supportive of us thru all of this. It's been a long hard and scary trip down an uncertainly constructed road...but this has brought us closer together, brought great changes into our lives, and has given us/me the will to start over again.
I KNOW what I want to do with my life now and I KNOW he will be there to support me.
 I don't know when and I don't how but I know things are going to be great. Someday.

 

[MaMaLaLa369]

Mar. 6, 2009 at 11:59 AM

well i'm glad you have what you want to do figured out- that's great! i'm sorry he's got these issues, but hopefully he'll be on the mend soon and you guys can have some peace of mind again.

[tat2edmommyof2]

Mar. 6, 2009 at 1:23 PM

And well if I can't find it one way I'll find it another. 

(Original Poster)

[angelhorns]

Mar. 7, 2009 at 5:08 PM

I'm happy you are so determined and feel so great about starting over. I wish I felt that great at this point.