Cherish Every Moment

[Annette4]

This is a post from a mom (with a language delayed toddler). She belongs to another group not on CafeMom, that I am also member of. I thought I would share it with you... it is so inspiring and heartbreaking too. These are her words, and I feel every one of them to my core. 

Some parents just don't know how good they got it!  I cry everytime I read this.. and I tell you something else, I make it a point to be more attentive and less busy when it comes to ALL of my kids!

Cherish Every Moment

I went to a seminar yesterday. It was an all day thing, so we had a
lunch break in the middle. I was at the thing alone, so I ended up
eating lunch by myself in a little cafe next door.

As I sat there eating my slice of pizza, I thought about my kids
and what they might be doing at home with my mother babysitting, and I
was feeling really odd to actually be by myself without them.

For lack of anything to do or anyone to talk to, I started to
notice the table next to me. At it were sitting a father and across
from him was his about 3-4 year old son. The son was eating a slice of
pizza. The dad was playing with his cell phone, reading the ads left
around the table, and pretty much anything else to occupy himself and
apparently kill the time as he waited for his son to finish eating.
The only thing he said to the boy in the half hour we sat there was
"eat your pizza.", and "We have to go pick up mom soon." I could tell
the boy could speak. He had said a few things before - attempting to
engage his dad. He didn't look like he was being punished or anything
either, just kind of sad. For a whole half hour I watched as they just
sat there in silence together.

As I watched them, I started to imagine my son sitting there able
to talk to me. I thought about everything I would finally get to ask
him. "What do you think about? What do you like? What do you think of
clouds, or birds singing? Do you know what I mean when I say I love you?

I thought about what I would have given for just that little half
hour of talking with him, and I was overcome with sadness. It was a
sadness not only for myself and what I was missing, but also for that
father who doesn't know what he has, and what he is missing. Sitting
alone there in that cafe, I started to cry.

One comforting thought occurred to me though: One of the best
things to be gained from the often trying, nerve wracking, and wholly
stressful situation of raising and helping and LOVING a non verbal child, is
definitely for me the fact that I am constantly reminded to cherish
every moment and every connection I have with him. I don't take
anything for granted. I don't take HIM for granted. I am blessed to
have him in my life and to get to call him my son. Every achievement,
every milestone met is a cause for celebration. He copied a facial
expression he saw on tv the other night and we laughed for a good hour
over that little thing.

I wish I would have told that father all of this. I wish I would
have told him to cherish every moment, that not everyone has what he
has, that his son, that all of our sons and daughters, are gifts. And
need to be cherished, because they will be gone from us way too soon.

She gave me permission to share her story and asked me not to publish her name.

[Pukalani]

Mar. 7, 2009 at 5:41 PM

We take so much for granted!  My DD is 4 and while she is verbal,  she says only about 500 words clearly.  It is so frustrating to be unable to understand her and to not know that she understands us.  When my 5 yo DD or 7 yo DS is yelling or saying hurtful things while its maddening, at other times I have to stop and just be thankful that I can understand and I can converse with them.   Cherish every second!

[MommyJanice44]

Mar. 7, 2009 at 9:19 PM

   When ever I see other parents all the time I think the same thing .. I almost get  jealous that they are on the baseball field playing baseball . or when I 'm talking to a parent I am always thinking do you even know how lucky you are they can tell you there mad or sad or hurting ect  ect    It is so hard at times not to say to them if you only knew how lucky you are .. Well there have been a few times I am sure I couldn't take it because I do remember now saying this before to people    I am always feeling that way too.. It does hurt..The pain does go deeper for us .   then for the other people who don't understand. Feel the same way. alot of the time too.......

[aurorabunny]

Mar. 8, 2009 at 10:21 AM

BUMP! As the mother of a non-verbal child I love and appreciate this.  Thanks for sharing!

[happy2bmom0406]

Mar. 8, 2009 at 3:02 PM

Can't type now...crying too hard!!!

[aidensmomma508]

Mar. 8, 2009 at 3:44 PM

aww I am so crying!  nice post.

[Mommy-Jenn]

Mar. 8, 2009 at 4:53 PM

Thanks for the post.  I needed to read something like this.  Although things have been rather tense around here with my two sons arguing/fighting so much (seriously my main job lately has been playing referee), I fail to remember sometimes how lucky I am that they can verbalize their frustrations.   

[patsfan013]

Mar. 8, 2009 at 6:17 PM

Thank you.

[busywithkids]

Mar. 8, 2009 at 9:02 PM

I remember the days when the only way my son communicated was by grunts or screaming.  Talking is a blessing.  Sometimes I forget it,  but it is.  Thanks for the reminder.

[autiemommy2]

Mar. 13, 2009 at 2:42 PM

you know, I think this SAME thing when I'm out with my kids shopping. I hear a parent yell at their child to shut up or stop talking and I just want to walk over and smack them! I want to yell at them to be grateful that their child can talk!!! I would give anything to hear my son say something, anything. He may never talk, although he wants to. I would love to hear him tell me what he thinks, feels, hopes, dream about... and yet, we sit in silence. It's always a one-sided conversation... and it's heartbreaking when I hear other parents tell their perfect child to shut up.

Thank you for posting!