Since when did respecting your elders become "kissing ass"?

[roolynn]

I recently wrote a post about a bully in my son's class.  One of the people that responded said that I wanted the bully to kiss my ass because I wanted him to give me the respect due my age. 

When I was growing up, that was called "respecting your elders."  It was a respect due to a person because of their age and their life experiences.  It had nothing to do with respecting the person because of who they were, it had to do with respecting their age and their age only.

I don't think that I'm that far out of line to expect a child to call me Mrs. E.  I'll even let them go so far as using the southern show of respect and have them call me Ms. Robin.  I dont' think that this is kissing ass.

In the military, we respected a person because of their rank.  I had many a supervisor that I would show respect to because they outranked me, but I didn't respect that person as a person.  I can tell you stories about a Colonel that I know now that I call "sir" because of his rank, but I think he is a total dick and I don't respect him as a person one iota.

A child, and to me that is anyone under the age of 18, should be taught that a person older than them should be respected.  I can't tell you how many doors that will open for them.  My children respect people that I don't like simply because they are older than my children, and I have taught them right.

Respecting an elder consists of saying "please" and "thank you," saying "yes, ma'am/sir" and "no, ma'am/sir."  These are not kissing ass, unless it is being done in a very kiss ass tone of voice.  And I don't think that making a child respect an adult is "bullying" a child.  I think that it is teaching them social graces that seem to be lacking all too often in today's society.

Not all adults should be respected as people.  But they should be respected as an elder.  These are things that will make your child more socially acceptable in the world and will open doors to them that would otherwise remain closed.  It also teaches a child tact.  Because they can say the same thing, be it derogatory or not, to an adult in a respectful tone of voice and the person that they are talking to will listen with open ears and mind.

Now, this sword cuts both ways.  I am always respectful to children.  To a point.  I am quick to tell them to stop doing something if they are doing something bad, but I am respectful in how I do it.  If you show a child respect then they will show you respect in return.

But I will not, repeat NOT, allow a child to bully my child or me for any reason.  It will be taken care of, through the proper channels, as I have already set into motion.

 

[ShutterbugMama]

Mar. 8, 2009 at 12:23 PM

Fine lines; they'll all come togehter.

Good luck with this situation, Sister.

I love you.

[roolynn]

Mar. 8, 2009 at 1:10 PM

They are very fine lines.  And I don't expect a child to recognize the fine lines, however, that is why I teach my child to respect their elders.  The fine lines become better defined as you get older.

(Original Poster)

[singedwingangel]

Mar. 8, 2009 at 10:44 PM

OH see huh uh no way in hades would we kids have had a tooth one left in our head if we even debated NOT having manners with our elders. My children are taught the same. I don't care who they are if they are rich poor black white, age is age and as such deserves and has solely earned the right to be addressed as sir or maam and with the other social graces attached to it. It is not an option in my house. You will be respectful and have manners..

[Liyoness]

Mar. 9, 2009 at 2:27 AM

Ahh.. Sheep..

You label this child a bully. You call children "bad". You called that child any number of names in the previous post.. I can't believe they allow you into schools!!

Honey, go take an early childhood education course. The way you deal with children is terrible.

The way you deal with people in GENERAL is appalling.. *Shakes head* You are nothing but a bully yourself.. After finding that house guest post, completely by random, and actually taking the time to read more journal entries of yours to see if it was a snap judgement I made of you in that post, I am sad to say, no, it was not. You are just an awful, terrible bully.

Needless to say, I completely disagree with this post. If I knew who you were in real life, I would be reporting you for your previous post to all school officials for the way you talk about students.. And the house guest posts.. *Shakes head again* You are just such a little, little woman.

And I'll bet you find the parents you have to deal with are worse than their children - I certainly wouldn't be taking kindly to someone like you being around my children, and worse, trying to teach them your values of right and wrong, reprimanding them, and bullying the crap out of them for not bowing down and obeying like trained dogs. Be glad none of the parents you've had to come up against are me, because you would be damned well put in your place, you petty, miserable woman!!!

[roolynn]

Mar. 9, 2009 at 11:48 AM

I just wanted to insert here that I am not a teacher.  That's all I have to say.  I do not teach.  I am simply a mother that is totally pissed about the fact that her child is being bullied.

(Original Poster)