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Babies in the Midst... of a Recession?
- Mar 11, 2009 at 2:13 AM
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- Comments (3) Total Views (42) Everyone can see this journal post.
Has anyone else noticed a boom in the baby/wedding area right now? I think about half the people I know are either getting married or pregnant right now!
Speaking of new additions to the family... is it totally inappropriate to have an "adoption shower"? I mean, I have to go to a party every time my friend is getting a new poop machine (read: baby) and spend money on stuff the kid will surely outgrow or use up within a month or two. Don't get me wrong, I love baby showers (for the most part) and I am happy to celebrate my friends' new additions and get them cutesy things, but I can't help but feel like, "WHAT ABOUT MEEEEEEE?!"
I know that's selfish, but...
Did you ever see that episode of SATC when Carrie goes to a party at a friend's house and her kids destroyed her Manolo's? Her friend offers to write a check and Carrie goes, "Great. They were $600." or some ridiculous amount like that, to which her friend basically responds with a laugh and a "Hell no." Then Carrie begins contemplating how much money she's dropped on that friend's wedding shower and three baby showers and eventually decides she is married to herself and registers at Manolo. Of course, she wonders if this is selfish, but knows she is due - so what if she never gets married and has kids? It is a choice, and she chose to have shoe-babies. In the end she got what she was due and everyone was A-OK.
But back to reality... I Googled "adoption shower" and all the results were for baby adoption showers (I really don't see how that's different from a regular baby shower except no one is pregnant, so there can be booze, maybe?).
What does one register for when they are going to birth three half-grown kids in a gestation period of two to three months? Money? Ikea gift cards so they can pick out their bed? Lowe's so they can pick their room's paint color? Target for bedding, new school supplies and clothes? Costco so I can now feed a family of six? When you're having a baby, you register for stuff. The nursery is your style. When you are birthing 5-10 year olds, they already have an opinion on what they like and don't like. And furthermore, can I throw this shower or is that in poor taste? Would anyone show up or would they think that was rude to even have one? What games do we play? Pin the suitcase on the child? :(
It is such a joyous occasion for the mom and her friends when a new baby is on the way just as it is a joyous occasion for an adoptive parent when they know placement is near. The big difference? It's not that joyous to the kids - sure they're excited to have a forever family, but we are pretty much strangers to them, and so is our city, our house, our dogs, our kid, our friends, what we eat for dinner, our routine, the way we do things, the school they'll go to, the bus route - everything we do might be foreign to these kids and our house is at least the third, and probably more like the fourth or fifth (or more!) house they've lived in / been uprooted to.
There is clearly no manual for how to do this. Thoughts?
This original blog post can be viewed at: http://metrogirl.typepad.com
Speaking of new additions to the family... is it totally inappropriate to have an "adoption shower"? I mean, I have to go to a party every time my friend is getting a new poop machine (read: baby) and spend money on stuff the kid will surely outgrow or use up within a month or two. Don't get me wrong, I love baby showers (for the most part) and I am happy to celebrate my friends' new additions and get them cutesy things, but I can't help but feel like, "WHAT ABOUT MEEEEEEE?!"
I know that's selfish, but...
Did you ever see that episode of SATC when Carrie goes to a party at a friend's house and her kids destroyed her Manolo's? Her friend offers to write a check and Carrie goes, "Great. They were $600." or some ridiculous amount like that, to which her friend basically responds with a laugh and a "Hell no." Then Carrie begins contemplating how much money she's dropped on that friend's wedding shower and three baby showers and eventually decides she is married to herself and registers at Manolo. Of course, she wonders if this is selfish, but knows she is due - so what if she never gets married and has kids? It is a choice, and she chose to have shoe-babies. In the end she got what she was due and everyone was A-OK.
But back to reality... I Googled "adoption shower" and all the results were for baby adoption showers (I really don't see how that's different from a regular baby shower except no one is pregnant, so there can be booze, maybe?).
What does one register for when they are going to birth three half-grown kids in a gestation period of two to three months? Money? Ikea gift cards so they can pick out their bed? Lowe's so they can pick their room's paint color? Target for bedding, new school supplies and clothes? Costco so I can now feed a family of six? When you're having a baby, you register for stuff. The nursery is your style. When you are birthing 5-10 year olds, they already have an opinion on what they like and don't like. And furthermore, can I throw this shower or is that in poor taste? Would anyone show up or would they think that was rude to even have one? What games do we play? Pin the suitcase on the child? :(
It is such a joyous occasion for the mom and her friends when a new baby is on the way just as it is a joyous occasion for an adoptive parent when they know placement is near. The big difference? It's not that joyous to the kids - sure they're excited to have a forever family, but we are pretty much strangers to them, and so is our city, our house, our dogs, our kid, our friends, what we eat for dinner, our routine, the way we do things, the school they'll go to, the bus route - everything we do might be foreign to these kids and our house is at least the third, and probably more like the fourth or fifth (or more!) house they've lived in / been uprooted to.
There is clearly no manual for how to do this. Thoughts?
This original blog post can be viewed at: http://metrogirl.typepad.com
Comments:
1-3 of 3 comments
1
Mar. 11, 2009 at 6:41 PM
Thanks for your feedback - I love the idea of a "family day." ;)
Mar. 13, 2009 at 9:53 PM
Congratulations on your upcoming adoption!
Have an open house where friends and family can meet your children. You don't have to register, people will bring you gifts. They will be happy to celebrate your new family.
You don't need games. Most people don't want to play them at baby or wedding showers.
We did not register until after our daughter came home. I did not want a shower but an open house. My friends had already planned a date for the shower when we came home.
1-3 of 3 comments
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congrats! i'm not sure what the protocol is for this situation. 2 of my brothers were adopted, i don't remember much cause i was only 1 at the time, they were 3&4. i do know that there was a big party the day they came to live with us, and we celebrate our 'family day' every year since. maybe if nobody wants to give you a shower, you could throw a party. i do think it would be impolite to make people feel obligated to bring gifts, but if they ask there's no harm in making suggestions right?
- jcsmummy
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