I feel horrible, but feel I had to do the right thing . . .

[campmulli]

Last Monday, my daughter was struck in the backside by a young man while at school. This young man hit her so hard that 26 hours later, when she finally told me about it, there were still bruised finger prints on her butt. I was so angry. This happened during the school day and the young man should have kept his hands to himself and not touched my daughter.

I could not reach the school administrators on Wednesday and by Thursday still had not heard back from them, so I phoned the police. Upon which our daughter had to be humiliated yet again and bare her backside for the police. (At least she can say she mooned a cop and got away with it, lol). Anyway, the school finally called me back on Friday to let me know that they will be in contact with the police also because the young man admitted he hit my daughter. He apologized to my daughter, but that still does not take away the fact that he hurt her. If I had bruised her butt, even just playing around, I would have been prosecuted, so why should this bother me that he could be prosecuted?

The young man has been a jeckal and hyde with my daughter for two years now, some days he is her best friend and others her worst enemy. He is jealous of her relationship with her boyfriend and this young man has made it clear that he is unhappy with our daughter dating her boyfriend. So anyway, I really do not want to see him prosecuted, so I will tell the police that the suspension he has recieved from the school is sufficient, but I just don't know that they will drop the case.

So, what do you think? should I have been so angry? Should I have gone to anyone on this matter? did I do right? I mean there are people who are going to say that this is not fair. That he is in show choir, band, and jr ROTC and he should not be punished so hard and have to miss out on things. But on the other hand, had this been your child who came home with a bruise, what would you have done? If you got caught for brusing your child, what do you think would have happened?

I am so torn right now on this. I agree with my daughter to allow this to end with the suspension, but how do I get the police to respond accordingly? They are going to prosecute. He was seen on video tape hitting her.

And why my daughter again? she does not deserve to be a victim all over again. However, the principle did mention that my daughter seems much improved from the past few years and very confident and self assured, so I suppose the healing process is still ongoing and will be for a while, but she is recovering and showing it in her responses to situations such as this.

[karriewren]

Mar. 14, 2009 at 11:15 PM

relax momma, you did the right thing. Let the police  handle the situation. If nothing else you helped show this young man that hitting women is wrong, A lesson he may remember in the future.

[Nonoluna]

Mar. 14, 2009 at 11:17 PM

Hi...I kind of stumbled upon your post.

This young man, no matter how nice he CAN be at times, did something regrettable and to his detriment, criminal. He can NOT treat anyone the way he treated your daughter for whatever reason.

Something that you have failed to mention is your daughter's opinion. She was abused and shared that with you. Obviously, she wanted you to know so you could help. Should she be humiliated for no reason? Why should her friend/abuser go unpunished?

[cecilmansmom]

Mar. 14, 2009 at 11:20 PM

you did the right thing. If you let him off then he may get idea that it's ok he'll just get suspended that's it. Show him now that there are major consquences for this type of behaviour. Let the police deal with it.

[NorahSethsMommy]

Mar. 14, 2009 at 11:33 PM

You did the right thing. I would have called the police immediately...before calling the school. This child has a problem. He needs to be straightened out.

[carrie24]

Mar. 15, 2009 at 12:34 PM

Of COURSE you did the right thing. If this type of behavior is not stopped at this stage it goes into more violent behavior as the guy gets older and that is so terrible! Maybe this young man will learn from this experience that hitting anyone is not the answer to ANY situation! It makes me wonder what he has been taught at home to be honest! Let the Police handle it from here, your DD came to you because she wanted help and you did what was the correct thing to do! I can't believe the school did not call you back the day you called, that is NOT GOOD! Just continue to be the TERRIFIC MOM that you are and support your kids!

[momofours]

Mar. 15, 2009 at 8:21 PM

Agree, agree, agree!  You are 100% correct in your actions.  It is what all of us would want to do, and because of reading your post, I know it gives me the confidence and faith that if I'm faced with the same perdicament, I will respond in the same way.  Too often these "nice" kids are given excuses for bad behavior, but in reality, there is no excuse, and hopefully, thanks to you, with this boy it will stop!  What a great example you are for your daughter!  She knows she can turn to you, and has yet another example of what a great mom looks like!  

 

[CorbinsMomma]

Dec. 9, 2009 at 5:31 PM

Honestly I wish my mom had handled a similar situation w/ me the same way you did.  I wasnt bruised, but my butt was felt up.  I went to the school admin and nothing happened because he was the star wrestler and football player.  They said he accidentally hit it trying to get my attention.  My mom just let it go, and to this day I still feel violated when I see his face.  My grandmother though (mom's mom) called the school when my dad told her about it and asked would it be okay if next time I wanted his attention if I grabbed his penis and twisted.  Their response was "No that harrassment", and she was like "well, get your crap together then and not discriminate against females."