Sometimes I just don't know

[mommyof035and6]

I don't know what the problem is...I'm super depressed...nothing makes me happy...I could just lay in bed and cry and be just fine...but can't obviously because I have kids.  I don't know if it's just depression stuff or hormonal stuff or environmental stuff....I don't have a Dr to talk to..I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle against everything..money, my relationships with everyone, my kids not listening and now they've started to talk back...I just don't know what to do.  I don't want to clean, I don't want to play, they only things I want to do are eat and spend money...but then I get mad at myself and get even more upset.

I want to be happy..I want Greg to be happy...I feel like neither of us are...I think and hope it comes mostly from money being so tight but I just don't know.

I constantly hear in the back of my head that I'm fat and that he's not attracted to me anymore because I'm fat.  I feel like a bad mom, I don't have any patience with my own kids.  I think they feel like they're just in the way.  I used to be the fun mom that did crafts, went to the park, lots of stuff....now I don't.

I don't know how I got here emotionally.  I don't know how to get out of it.  I don't know how to make myself happy.

I just want to be happy.  I want my family to be happy.  I want to feel loved...I want my kids to feel loved...

I don't know I don't know I don't know.

[jennanicole]

Mar. 15, 2009 at 5:30 PM

WOW ! That is how, I feel on most days????? WOW ! You can message me, and we can figure this out. I have a few idea's.

We are STRONG, and can pull through this.

[jennanicole]

Mar. 16, 2009 at 12:15 PM

We need to focus on ourselves. What would make you feel better? A haircut? A new shirt? A lunch date with a friend, who makes you laugh? Carve out, even 15 min to just do nothing. To re-focus. Don't ever compare yourself to other Mom's. We can't tackle all of those feelings you are having, in one day. I just about lost it, one year ago.

The best advice and I still use it today, is LIVE IN THE MOMENT!! Take today, and do a few little things to feel good. Laugh at something. Let the kids make their own sandwhich for lunch? Rent a movie, they would al like?

We are totally strapped right now, my DH got laid off. So......we can't do anything that cost money. Know, that you are not alone. Are you on meds, to help? Maybe, even just a multi-vitamin would help, your energy. Nothing feels worse than, feeling yucky and knowing, we can't let our kids see us like that !

I am here for ya.

 

 

[mrsedge24]

Mar. 16, 2009 at 2:29 PM

I am sorry you are struggling right now... I definitely understand.  Is there any way you could go see the dr?  Can you guys get help from DHS?  I would be CRAZY w/o my meds, and had the same things going on with feeling crappy and feeling like I was ruining my relationship with Aaron and feeling like a crummy mom.  It's hard when you feel like something is off, but you just aren't quite sure what it is.  You should try to get a little you time at least once a week, maybe we need to do another Rock Band night?  Let me know how I can help ok?