Backstabber and people that Gossip

[fire_and_ice]

Okay, so I am starting to get a little pissed off at a couple people at work right now. Everyone talks crap about everyone here. I try to stay out of it. Also, some people get along better with others too. So me and one of my supervisor hit it off great when I got this job and now we talk on facebook or on the phone. Usually it is about life or patients we have at work. Well, one of my co-workers is going around and telling people (not sure how many) to watch out for me and becareful what they say around me because me and this supervisor talk. Are you fucking kidding Me!!!! Does this co-worker have nothing better to do!This co-worker also thinks everyone is always talking about her and will get mad at you for the stupidest things. She thinks everyone is ignoring her, when that is not the case at all. I know this is all part of life, but I am not the type of person that goes and talks a bunch of shit about people behind their backs. I may vent to a friend (that isn't from work) or my hubby, but that is it. I don't talk crap to other co-workers about another co-worker. I have better thigs to do and I am more grown-up than that.

 

So I want to confront this person, but I don't want her to get mad at the person who told me about it. There is much more I could tell you anout this co-worker, but I don't thik I have the time and You probably don't want to hear it. Just needed to vent in my journal where I know no one from my work will see it!! Thanks!

[divinity80921]

Mar. 16, 2009 at 12:36 AM

Friendship with a supervisor is always tricky because no matter what the nature of the the friendship between the two, someone will always point and gossip. I remember years ago when a co-worker friend was temporarily my supervisor for about a month. I didn't even speak to her at all beyond what I had to say in the process of doing my job. I didn't want people saying I was getting some kind of special privileges. I felt badly later because I found out her husband got fired from his own job during that time, so my friend was going through a bad stretch and I wasn't there for her.

On the other hand, I once was friends with a woman in a different department who was married to the top boss of that small company. I was always very, very careful what I said to her because the boss sucked ass and she slept with him. Although I genuinely liked her, I never lost sight of the fact that I'd better not be completely honest about how I felt about her husband or my job could be over in a moment.

Still, when co-workers saw me talking to her, they all of them felt the need to point out she was married to the boss. I understood their concern, especially with me being such a forthright sort, but I always assured them I knew that and would always watch my p's and q's, but didn't think it meant I needed to refuse to be nice to her. (Especially since no one else was nice to her. That's not easy on her.)

You are insulted by the innuendo that you will use your friendship with the supervisor to slander co-workers, and rightly are you insulted by this. But it merely shows the juvenile mentality of the gossip-monger who is going around saying this about you. Ignore her, don't confront her. Or better yet, if you can pull it off, heap burning coals on her head by going out of your way to be extra-sweet to her at every possible opportunity. Kill the enemy with kindness - hard to do but it generally does work. Plus it has the added bonus of making the enemy feel like the idiot they actually are - how could they have said those lousy things about such a sweetheart as you?

[wiener]

Mar. 16, 2009 at 7:29 AM

this is why I'm so glad I work at home, The gossip that fly's around the office when I was working there was unbearable, still is actually, it's like I was back in high school.  i don't know if would confront her though it would probably make the situation much worse, maybe mention it to a supervisor and have it brought up at a meeting that this kind of gossip in the office is very unprofessional.  you will never get it away from it though no matter were you work or what you do. I still hear it, just by email know

[michellec814]

Mar. 16, 2009 at 9:20 AM

Thats all that happens with my job.  Gossip, gossip, gossip. I hear it all but don't take part in it.  I'm not trying to be sexist (against my own kind...lol)...but if you work with mostly women, that happens a lot.  My work is ALL women.  Fun times!

[fire_and_ice]

Mar. 16, 2009 at 11:04 AM

Thanks ladies!! Unfortunately, I did already confront her in a message. I was angry and hormonal at the time. I don't regret doing it yet, but I guess we will see come Tuesday night when I work with her again! Her personality is hard to explame on here, but she feels everyone is against her and that we all talk about her behind her back and yet she goes and does it to me. Hippocrit!!!! I don't know. I will probably still tell a supervisor about all of it and also what I told the co-worker in the message. We will see how it goes Tuesday night I guess!! Thanks again!!

(Original Poster)

[Bearsjen]

May. 4, 2010 at 10:44 AM

be careful telling your supervisor friend because then it will be twistedinto"see told ya she would narc", kwim? i think that gossip is one of the most damaging things in any situation, and it causes so much division among women. I hate that some women dont see how much stronger we each become by SUPPORTING each other, versus tearing each other down. good luck and rremember, it only has power if you give it power.;)