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"Some Women Just Can't Breastfeed!" = /
- Mar 16, 2009 at 9:30 AM
- By
- Comments (181) Total Views (5328) Everyone can see this journal post.
*Please read the entire journal before replying, I address two things in the last two paragraphs that need to be read*
I HATE this statement. I hate it purely because the reasons behind this aren't completely thought through or blame is placed on the wrong things. Some women just can't breastfeed, true but let's look at why in most cases this is true.
From the time you decide to breastfeed, while you are still gestating you have those people that are planting seeds of doubt in your head. It's gonna hurt, what if you don't make enough milk, aren't you gonna have to work, that's disgusting, what if it doesn't work out, etc.? So instead of saying, that's wonderful. You can do it and I will support you however I can, you get a massive amount of negative feedback from most people. Since the breastfeeding rates in the U.S. are so low, it's not a bit surprising that this is the case. Women have all but lost their own instincts and have definitely lost the knowledgeable support of friends and family. You may have a few that do say that's wonderful I will support you, but how often do they really know anything about breastfeeding so that they could capably be a positive support system? Next to never.
So your baby arrives and you face a whole new challenge, actually breastfeeding! Now you have the hospital sending home formula with you in the neat little diaper bag with the tiny label on it of "place whatever formula company fits your situation here". Yes, even this tiny label has put you in danger of having your breastfeeding relation undermined, let alone the literature given out inside the bag on breastfeeding that is after all prepared by tada...formula companies. They don't want you to succeed, if you do they lose money! They are thinking, "hey, a new mama is just tired, stressed and hormonal enough we can get our dirty hands on her pretty easily! Just when she feels she can't take it anymore, she'll see our product sitting there, give it a try and maybe even give up breastfeeding altogether. After all breastfeeding is supply and demand. If we can get her to take away the demand, we're golden." They already know most of the "support team" you have probably didn't breastfeed. Most of the "support" you will get is, "you tried, it's ok to give formula.", "maybe the baby isn't getting enough?", "the baby wouldn't ___ if you gave formula", "I gave you formula/You had formula and you're just fine!" Support should be to continue, not to tell you it's ok to quit when in almost all cases it's not necessary.
So say you don't give in to the temptation of this "gift" you get at the hospital, chances are if you have trouble with breastfeeding(which most moms think they do because they don't have that knowledgeable support we spoke about earlier) the next step most moms take is to talk to the pediatrician. Yes, your pediatrician should know what you should do, after all he does spend all day taking care of babies right? Wrong! Pediatricians/doctors and nurses have about 1 hour of training in their entire medical career on breastfeeding. How can they be expected to know anything really helpful about breastfeeding. Most of what they learn about are the "benefits of breastfeeding" not the problems that can arise and how to help mothers overcome them. Hence the big problem. Doctors in most cases will suggest, you guessed it...formula. Not only because they haven't a clue how to help you but also because they get huge kickbacks from formula companies. Sneaky little dogs have thought of just about every way to get in between you and breastfeeding your baby. The good doctor would refer you to a specialist in the area of concern as they do with every other issue that they aren't specially trained to deal with apart from one...breastfeeding.
Ok, so you make it by even after these three big hurdles because either you are determined, lucky or haven't really had any issues thus far. It gets about that time that many moms do have to go back to work. Now what! You pump to provide your baby with your milk while you are away. You have to deal with the process of getting a pump, so let's say you get a cheap pump(or had one from when you were pregnant). You give it a try and it sucks! You want to get a nice pump, but damn they are like a ton of money and it's just impossible for you to afford. This is a problem. When going back to work you NEED a good double electric pump, it's a need not a want. Some mothers will get this pump that is needed, even they face a big challenge. Pumping at work. Many employers don't offer breastfeeding mothers any help in their efforts to keep providing their milk to their baby. Moms face the challenge of finding time to pump, a place to pump, and dealing with fellow employees attitudes about her choice at work. After all of this, she still has to worry about maintaining an adequate supply for her baby to get 100% breast milk while she is away and at home. Even with a great double electric pump this can prove trying to women.
Let's say mom triumphs over all of these obstacles(Yay mom, great job because this is a lot to deal with!) she still faces societies distaste for the natural purpose for her breasts. Even other mothers show this distaste for breastfeeding. She will be told it's gross, they don't want to see it, it's unnatural(O_o), she's still doing that, her baby is too old for that, insert whatever you like here, we get it all!
The goals of healthy people 2010 state that breastfeeding rates in the U.S. should ideally be 75% initiation rate at the hospital, 50% at 6 months and 25% at one year. With the mountain of issues that breastfeeding moms face, how is this ever to happen? The answer: Change.
Change in the attitudes of those around the breastfeeding mom and the amount of knowledge they have about breastfeeding.
Change in the unethical marketing techniques practiced by the formula companies.
Change in the government by passing laws to protect the breastfeeding mother and require employers to provide women the things they need to successfully continue to breastfeed, since it does benefit the employer as well. Change in how they enforce the code for marketing breast milk substitutes that we adopted in the 90's through the Innocenti Declaration.
Change in the insurance companies allowing mothers to have their breast pumps and lactation consultant visits paid for.
It all comes down to change! So the next time you feel angry because of a breastfeeding post here on cafemom, think about all these things. Think about the real problem. Most importantly, think about how you can change the problem. You may feel angry reading this, but I stress, try looking closely at what causes these feelings. What caused you to stop breastfeeding.
I want to take a moment to address the mothers/baby's who have physical causes for an inability to breastfeed or have a full supply of milk. I know a few mothers who really wanted to breastfeed and couldn't because of a physical condition of theirs or their child's. This is a tragedy and I wish that breast milk were more widely available to you because I know how much it pains you to have to use formula. ETA:I have found this link that is really amazing for mother's/baby's with physical issues and breastfeeding. It talks about the different conditions and ways to help with increasing supply as well as redefining success! Please check it out: http://www.mobimotherhood.org/MM/article-LMS.aspx
I also want to take a minute and say that I don't think formula feeding mothers are bad parents! Most of the people I know formula feed and they are great moms. This isn't about whether you formula feed or breastfeed, simply the challenges that a mom can face when she is breastfeeding and the things that need to change to improve women's ability to continue.
ETA: I would like to respectfully ask that when leaving a reply everyone would refrain from the use of derogatory terms. I would like for us all to be civil in our responses and able to get our views across without putting each other down. I originally had intended to delete all posts containing any said terms, but some of the replies using them are not those I wish to delete, as they aren't angry hate-filled responses. So please refrain from the use of these terms in any new responses ladies or I will be deleting them regardless of content. Thanks! =D
Tags: breastfeeding, infant formula, baby, infant, mom, nursing
Comments:
KUDDOS to you this is i think the best article i've ever seen i hope you post it everywhere maybe people will see the real issue cause you definitly state it very clearly here thank you!!
Wow! AWsome points! our society must truly support breastfeeding and solve problems that cause obsticles! thanks for this well written journal!
nice thoughts. I wish more moms could understand what their breasts are for instead of running into a problem and losing confidence in their body's ability to feed their child.
Thanks for the wonderful replies ladies! =) And thank you to everyone who voted popular!
Sorry, but I CAN'T breastfeed. My son's also have medical issues and formula was the option that works. I dislike being told that the inability to breastfeed is not real, that you just need support, etc.
It is real. I CAN'T breastfeed. No matter how much I can try, it does not work. Why should I "protest" formula companies, and those "neat little bags"?
NikkiPhoenix, did you read the whole thing? I will quote myself from the last two paragraphs:
I want to take a moment to address the mothers/baby's who have physical causes for an inability to breastfeed or have a full supply of milk. I know a few mothers who really wanted to breastfeed and couldn't because of a physical condition of theirs or their child's. This is a tragedy and I wish that breast milk were more widely available to you because I know how much it pains you to have to use formula.
I also want to take a minute and say that I don't think formula feeding mothers are bad parents! Most of the people I know formula feed and they are great moms. This isn't about whether you formula feed or breastfeed, simply the challenges that a mom can face when she is breastfeeding and the things that need to change to improve women's ability to continue.
in the hospital where my 15 month old was born they had 2 different sets of diaper bags they gave away. Mine came with a breast pump, storage bags and bottles, disposable nipples etc... no ads what so ever. A companies job to get business is to advertise... that is how they make money. Unethical goes far beyond formula marketing techniques. It is a persons choice to buy formula, cigarettes, alcohol, dial soap... these companies are just trying to make a buck. It is a consumers job to use common sense.
Let me add that I have nothing against formula feeders. I have used formula before. I just choose to breastfeed mainly. It cam easily to me and my kids. But there is nothing wrong with choosing otherwise. It is your life, not mine. I am just making a point that people need to be responsible for their desicions. Most of the bad desicions being made in families today are much worse than formula.
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Great journal Dayna! When I had my struggles with my duo, well meaning friends, family and professionals kept saying "Oh, it's ok to stop. Just go to formula". I was getting so frustrated, I didn't want to be told it was o k to quit, I needed support!!