No, we aren't trying for a girl, so get over it.

[Mangy_Momma]

You know, it's funny how women react when they discover that I had a tubal ligation. "Well aren't you going to try for a girl?" Uh, obviously not... "Oh my God! That's too bad."

Oh, and this last? It's usually said with a sad look on her face. The tone of voice is either a "sob sob my ice cream hit the side walk," or the tone I hate the most, "such a sad, devastating, tragedy!"

So since I get sick to death of repeating myself regarding the personal choice we made for the benefit of our family, I'm going to write it down here so that I can just link it to my pitying friends and acquaintances.

Yes. I'm serious. I'm done having kids.

Why the hell are you sorry? I'm the one that signed the consent form.

No. I didn't make a hurried decision when I signed. The paper was signed and placed in my chart when I was barely in my second trimester with my youngest.

Why do you feel sad for me? We are quite happy in this house hold. Unless, of course, that makes you sad for some odd reason?

Devastating? Devastating is when a woman has to have a hysterectomy even though she wants to have more kids. I made a CHOICE.

How is this choice a tragedy? I have two beautiful, healthy, happy baby boys.

Oh, wait! That's right! It's because I don't have a GIRL. For some reason, I should have this longing for a daughter? I should be unsatisfied with the boys I have? Oh, no. I suppose it's probably because you feel that you aren't complete without a daughter, and assume I should feel the same way?

(Now, remember. Just because a woman wants to have a girl doesn't mean that the above applies to her. It only applies to the women I'm referring to in this post. So don't get all hurt, ok?)

Guess what! We wanted HEALTHY babies. That is what we got. We are BLESSED. To ensure we can provide a good life for our sons, we thought LONG and HARD and decided that a tubal was the best choice for OUR FAMILY. That's the way we roll in our home.

I just had to get that off my chest, because after almost a year of this pitiful nonsense, it's getting very old. My sons are 13 months apart, keep me plenty busy, and things are just as they should be for our little family unit.

[Lapis_Lazuli]

Mar. 18, 2009 at 1:09 PM

That is ridiculous that people make snarky comments based on a decision affecting solely your body and your family, I would smack some people if they pulled that crap on me, but I know that some women are happy with just boys, some women are happy with just girls, and some want a little of each for the "experience". I also know a woman that had 6 boys (all extremely close in age) because she  just wanted one little girl. You get what you were meant to have--good for you standing up for yourself!

[DivaG]

Mar. 18, 2009 at 1:12 PM

Totally agree.

I usually tell people that I was my parents' 3rd unsuccessful try at having a boy and I've always felt like my not being a son was a disappointment to them. So, no, I won't be trying for a girl.

[MrsBirks]

Mar. 18, 2009 at 4:26 PM

Well done for posting this.  I get that kind of reaction when i tell people that my hubby is awaiting a vasectomy.  We have 2 kids (girl and boy) and people are forever trying to change my mind, but like you, I know that I don't want anymore.  Even if I had 2 girls or 2 boys I still wouldn't want anymore because 2 kids was my goal and I now have that.  More power to you momma!!! x