Has anyone had this problem?

[mominbolt]

My son, Nathan, is 4 years old. We are NOT racist people and try to teach our kids that ALL people are the same and we should treat everybody the same. Well, just now, Nathan says that he dosen't like black people. I started to get mad but I calmed down and asked him why. He said cause they aren't like us. I stopped him there!!!! I said "They bleed red just like us! They are people with feelings, just like us! There is no reason why you should say that!"

Should I have said something else or something different? THis kinda worries me! I don't want him growing up judging people like that! What do I do? Can anybody relate to my situation?

Thanks in advance!

~Mary

[MommyDumDum]

Mar. 18, 2009 at 2:51 PM

Does he live in a culturally diverse neighborhood? Has he grown up around kids of different races? If not, he may be expressing some feelings of confusion over why people look different. Maybe it isn't so much that he doesn't 'like' black people, but can't wrap his mind around why their skin is another color. Kids his age sometimes have difficulty with saying what they truly mean. I think you shouldn't make too big of a deal out of it. If he enjoys a certain show, like Sesame Street, find some episodes with kids of different races. Watch it with him and have a conversation afterward about the kids he saw. Try to approach the subject calmly.

[godzgirl21]

Mar. 18, 2009 at 3:40 PM

He's obviously being influenced by others and you need to find out who they are and make sure he stays away from the negativity and hate and let him know that he's being fed lies. God is no respector of persons and he needs to know that there is no place for hate when it comes to God.

[angnwill]

Mar. 18, 2009 at 4:18 PM

Hello, I feel you told him as much as he is able to understand,  my family situation my hubby is black and indian and I am indian,  our children are biracial and they are lighter than some,  My four yr old dosent understand that his dad is black because he dosent see him that way.  I have to stop my son when he sees a darker person and he makes the comment or asks about their color.. IT IS ALL HOW YOU RAISE HIM,  that is how I feel.  I'm trying to teach my children that we are all the same and are all god's children and to love one another no matter what color the skin is.  It is just a childs curiosity but if you keep teaching him right he will learn.

[mimitothree]

Mar. 18, 2009 at 4:56 PM

   I wouldn't make a big deal about it.  Just point out when he sees black people that they are the same.  They like Mc Donalds just like him, and so on.  Do you have any black friends that you can introduce him to?  I think that would go a long way toward reducing his fear.

[mominbolt]

Mar. 18, 2009 at 5:23 PM

No I do not have any black friends. My husband does but at work. They never come to the house. He has 1 little black girl in his pre-K class at school. The rest are white. There aren't any black kids around the neighborhood either.

(Original Poster)

[Marhansmom]

Mar. 18, 2009 at 5:24 PM

Mary honey, maybe you should let him finish the statement. Maybe it is inocent. I agree we need to teach our children we are all the same. CHildren this age do not know how to be pregidice especially when it is not lived out in the home.

[kymbernv]

Mar. 18, 2009 at 5:33 PM

Remind him that God created ALL of us and that JESUS died for ALL of us!

[JESUSCARES4YOU2]

Mar. 18, 2009 at 6:18 PM

MY SON CALLS THEM BROWN PEOPLE...

I TOLD HIM ALMOST THE SAME THING AS YOU.. EXCEPT I TOLD HIM THAT THEY GET HURT SAME AS US.. AND JESUS LOVES THEM SAME AS US.. I TOLD HIM JESUS WAS NOT EVEN WHITE.. CAUSE JESUS WOULD HAVE BEEN THE SAME COLOR AS A MIDDLE EASTERN JEWISH MAN... SO HE WOULD HAVE LOOKED DARK BROWN.. FROM THE SUN AND THE SKIN PIGMENT.

[MomaNana2008]

Mar. 18, 2009 at 10:24 PM

One thing is certain-Children are not racist. It is better to not show any emotion (getting mad will make him scared and he may not ever tell you anything again). Trust that he is just a child and doesn't know why he is thinking that way, he is just making statements-possibly even mimicing.  In this way he will keep telling you openly how he believes and Why he believes it.  Maybe something happened at school.  You can't dismiss that maybe someone hurt him that was black also-however it happened, by accident or on purpose.  The main problem is keeping communication open so that they do tell you what made them not like black people. One thing you should make sure of though, make certain you teach them that the people you should not like-are people that uncaringly do wrong to others -whether they are black OR white-So they don't just trust everyone.

[Nana54]

Mar. 19, 2009 at 2:26 AM

I have to agree with godzgirl21 someone is leading him the wrong way, kids do not see color I run an pre K-school.  I had a little guy whose mom told him that a new child was starting and he was a little different that him, she told him that the new boy was Native American.  Well would ya not know it he told his mom that day that his new friend was not different at all he just looks like he got a tan like (they call me Nana) Nana in the summer when she gets to much sun, lol and I do I am Irish and most people think I am Spanish, when I get in the sun I tan. Anyway just a short story kids just don't see color....tell him that we are all the same in Christ eyes if only the world could be color blind as Jesus is ...he loves us all.  Don't sweat over this chances are if you make a big deal over it then it may make him feel worse about it.  Find out who his friends are.