mcquistionmom2's Journal

all my thoughts and ideas gathered here

Ok, so my dad just called and b*****d me out over a bill he paid my great grandma back on for my cell phone when I was 15. He wanted me to pay him $600 and I thought "ok, well, it was my bill, etc" so I told him ok and I sent him $200 of it because we had move in costs and crap to cover and buy. He apparently thought that I could pay him the full amount right away (he knew we had received our tax return) and sent out a check for $300 dollars and he bounced the check because I only put $200 into his account (rather, my grandfather's account because my dad can't get his own account and my grandfather lives with my parents). I hung up on my dad the morning I deposited the $200 because he was lecturing me on my money management skills and what not and I just got really pissed off and upset so I hung up. I stopped talking to him and he actually didn't even call my house for just over a week (didn't even talk to me, talked to my little sister). I told my mom I thought he was pissed off at me because I told him how it was going to be...my words to him were "my children come first, not you!" and then hung up and I figured he didn't like that much.

Anyway, moving on to today's phone call. He royally pissed me off and I can't stand it any more...I could actually feel my blood pressure rise. I am done talking to him. He actually threatened me with small claims court over $400. My bill back then wouldn't have even been $600 in the first place if he had actually taken care of it like he told me he was going to do. Instead he told me he would handle it and not to say anything (my great grandma co-signed for my phone) but he ended up letting it go to collections so late fees and everything else was added on to the bill. Not to mention he told me and MIL that he would pay the catering bill for the wedding and then didn't so it was asked if MIL would cover it and he would pay her back once the house had sold...well, the house sold about a month after the wedding and he took his share and went on vacation! My MIL still has not been paid back to this day (the family wedding was in July 2004). He says he didn't pay her back because she was telling people at the reception that she paid for it all (uh, well hello dumb @$$ she did!) She paid for the reception hall and everything including the catering but he still holds this argument as a reason not to pay her back so I can't even have a decent family get together for my kids because my dad is an @$$ and has ruined EVERYTHING!

He started lecturing me again when he called this morning and I yelled at him, actually used profane language with him (I NEVER use bad words when I speak to my parents, its a respect thing) and I was sooo pissed off that the e-mail I wrote my mom telling her I wasn't calling their house ever again and that if she tried calling not to take offense if no one picks up because we have caller ID but no way of knowing if its her or him, that I used bad language there too! My dad wants a pity party for his financial situation as well as the fact that he fell at a hotel and had to have leg surgery which the first surgeon screwed up so dad is now unable to do a whole lot because of the permanent pain. He has been on percocet daily (several times a day) for like 2 years now, I feel he is an addict and that he is "making the pain worse" in his own head so he doesn't have to come off the percocet. He was a sahd almost my whole life, claims he couldn't work because he cannot do the things he was trained to do due to a shoulder injury (which he did receive at work, I remember that when I was younger but I that doesn't mean he couldn't find a job he could do or train to do that didn't require heavy lifting) but his excuse for not finding another job is that he is hypoglycemic and even if he trained for some sort of desk job or something no one would give him a small break every 2 hours to eat something or keep something at his desk to eat every 2 hours. BS! He just didn't want to work...he found it was much easier to claim his social security instead. My mom was out of work for almost 2 years because she had to take care of my dad (he was going to the doc like once a week and whatnot) and she was drawing unemployment...he complained that she needed to go back to work but moved her to the middle of nowhere...they couldn't even afford for her to drive to find a job...so they finally moved in to town and she got a part time job and now he's complaining about that because she isn't making enough and he said the money she was getting from unemployment is much better! Its people like him who ruin things for everyone else.

I am not buying into his pity party any more and he can take me to small claims all he wants...I don't think it will stand up in court because I was a minor and HIS responsibility at the time I had the cell phone. Guess I should make a call to Base Legal to see if they can offer some guidance or point me in the direction of some one off base who can. Thanks for listening...sorry its so long but I just needed to vent and Dh is sleeping (they put him back on mid-shift, I was really hoping for day shift once we moved, but he gets to go to days in June supposedly)...besides that, if I vent to Dh about this he will be super pissed and want to call my dad which will only make things worse...or he'll call his mom who already does not like my dad and then my MIL will want to talk to me (she'll be nice and tell me not to worry, etc, but I don't want a pity party...I know my dad is an @$$, I didn't choose him and now I AM choosing to cut communication with him, I can't stand the man).

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Comments:

Krist...
Mar. 18, 2009 at 3:04 PM

Gracious it sounds like your dad is grasping at straws and thats why hes coming after you for a bill he paid when you were a kid. Sounds like a desperation tactic to me. I wouldnt pay him anything. When you are 15, you are still the responsibility of your parents. So, if you had a cell phone, it his responsibility to make sure it gets paid for. I know where I live, and in most states, a parent or guardian has to sign CONSENT for cell phones, and this also takes responsibility for the bill. Sorry you have to deal with that.. its crappy.

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cnrui...
Mar. 18, 2009 at 3:32 PM

yeah hes been petty and i agree id ont think he has a leg to stand on to begin with. Good luck dealing with that. .. and im sure its not gonna get better with your sister going home.. maybe hes mad at that and taking the other thing out on you. who knows but this far along in pregancy i wouldnt be dealing with it. 

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kaker104
Mar. 19, 2009 at 10:43 AM

Wow sweetie! He's still being an ass bout this? I'm sorry.  I'd have hung up on him too. Especially since you have Natalie to worry bout. Don't get to stressed out. You gotta keep our baby girl safe and happy. Hugs to you. I'll have to call you later on. Miss you. Kiss the boys for me!

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