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Peri-Menopause, Huh? Well, I wish the SAME TO YOU! (Signs, Symptoms, Humor).
- Mar 18, 2009 at 5:43 PM
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- Comments (22) Total Views (331) Everyone can see this journal post.
Here are the symptoms...I'm SERIOUSLY concerned. (Is there ANY chance of a temporary separation from ONES OWN SELF? Cause I'll go pack, right now...
Im 35 and could already be hitting Menopause; they have a cuter name for it though, called Peri-Menopause.
The difference? I don't have ALL the symptoms, yet; they say this is JUST the beginning...
I thought this was because I'm a mother to 2 boys, and a step mother to 2 more. I still say that the fatigue is all THEIR fault.
THIS is because sweets are DELICIOUS....I cant blame a medical condition (or PERI medical condition) on CHOCOLATE. I just cant.
THESE 10 lbs are because I just had back surgery; Im recovering, about 8 weeks out now, and am nearly back to my pre-operative weight. If anything, I typically stay on the leaner side.
THIS IS BAD NEWS. BAD, BAD, BAD news. I wake up with a wet pillow. Sexy, yeah?
I've always been a disaster during "that time". Just a MESS! But, this hasn't come normally, or steadily, for quite some time now, and NO, Im definitely NOT pregnant.
Again, those boys! Add to them the Man that is their Leader, the dogs that bark, the cats that complain, the gardener that ALWAYS wants to talk, the pool guy who ALWAYS complains that there is hair in the pool filter, the neighbor who never waves, the Physical Therapist with Scabies, the...
just forget. IM too overwhelmed to share it all...there's just TOO Much, you know?
Huh? Im irritable? Mood swings? Well, EVER THINK THE POROBLEM IS YOU, BUCKO???? Yeah, go lay down...
(Oh, WOW, the um..hostility...Im sorry...I didn't mean that. Im fine..what temper?)
Sleep; you know what, I might as well open a Newborn Night Service; IM UP!!!!!!!!!!!
Sleep Mama...this Peri-Menopausal, Stinky, emotional woman will come care for your Newborn while you enjoy your slumber.
I thought that was the beer...
Desire? To do WHAT? WHATS THERE TO DO?
I kid, I kid...I still have desire....
IM sure there's SOMETHIN' to do.
I'll get there. Right now, Im too tired.
I had a thought on this, but I cant remember what I was going to say.
THANKI GOD! I was concerned about my Colo-rectal Health! After that article I wrote the other day, well...it got me thinkin'.
I had back surgery. Otherwise, Im fine. Arthritis hasn't yet set in.
Why is this constantly brought up? Is it a SIGN? Is the SKY about to fall, and the Heavens are trying to tell me something???
Hello??
Sometimes...like right now, cause Im worried that the sky is falling. And, truthfully, Im not looking forward to arthritis setting in.
Don't ya get this with your period, anyway?
Oh, wait..I don't really get those much anymore.
(Is this why they keep carding me? F*&%!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel stupid now).
I wet my pants when I sneeze; does that count?
OH YAY! And, soon, I'll ache, feel terrified, AND look like a man! WAHOO!
And I'll go bald on top of it; perfection. A Bald, Hairy, Hormonal, Basket Case from Hell.
Im in the High Dessert...
Mmmm, a Sundae sounds SO good.
Ew. They've got Sprinkles for that sorta thing...
Yeah, I know.
Seriously?? Fibroids?
Whats next???
I grow a Penis?
Ugh...frustrating...
Anyhow, I thought I'd share the signs and symptoms.
Good luck with this; wish me the same.
xo
Elle
Comments:
Hahahaha!!!! I'm so sorry you're going through all this, but man... your journals seriously amuse the hell out of me!
Oh, and hey, congrats on not smelling like little boys' socks anymore!
Glad that the CS Secret is workin!!! This is too funny!
hmm, well, I was able to relate to most of those - but thanks to the miracle cream, it's not so bad.
I'm happy for ya that the new deodorant works :)
Hmmm...I've got about 90% of those symptoms. Peri-menopause you say? Well...crap. I was NOT expecting that!
You are entirely too cute!! Please excuse me while I pick myself up off the floor.
lmaoooooooooooooooo
Lack of Desire... meaning....... lack of SEXUAL feeling!
*giggles*
okay... I'll hush up for now...
Why do they call it menapause? Does it start again? Do you get a To Be Continued voucher? Shouldn't it be called menastop? I'm just sayin'....
Anyway, sorry you're going through the lovely hormonal season. It could be your body out of whack from the surgery and it's trying to recover. I had all kinds of lovely things during and after mine. Chin up, this too shall pass.
I am sorry...I chuckled a little bit. I am truly sorry that you are having to go thru all this though...Hope you get some relief soon
I'm about to run off with the CIRCUS....
want me to pick you up, bearded woman? This could be the start of a new and beautiful career path for you...
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The good news? Clinical Secret actually works. I dont stink anymore.
I can do this...
- ShutterbugMama
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