Pride...gets the best of me

[mummacat124]

SO I take my dd to church 3 times a week. She is 8 mos old. It is extremely difficult for me to do it "by myself". I carry her in in her car seat, because it is easier since I have a two-door car and I would have to take the seat out of it's base then take her out...and then fuss with her to get her back in...I have tried it a couple times. No go. SO I carry that huge seat and her in it...plus all her stuff. She is now going through a SA phase and makes it even more difficult. She needs a mumma or dadda to comfort her and if mumma is in another nursery, it can make it harder for her.

A sweet lady reminded me I don't have to do it all myself and it is okay to accept help. I can't do it. I am embarrassed by my old car. I am embarrassed that I am bringing my dd to church by myself. I feel like it is slapping my dh in the face, because he chooses not to come and someone else has to do "his work" for him. I don't know if anyone would get what I am saying when I put it that way, but I feel like that.

I almost feel like I deserve the struggle since it was my decision that brought me to this in the first place. I know God is not like that. Even when we do stuff we aren't supposed to, he does foregive us and helps us move on.

I know the men of my church have offered to help, but again I just can't accept it.

[MSugarKane]

Mar. 19, 2009 at 9:38 AM

If that is all your have to worry about, then you have it really good.  Just being able to get out of the house and go to church is a blessing in itself.  Take extra time and stop to smell the roses on the way. 

[Zanjea]

Mar. 19, 2009 at 10:43 AM

You should be proud of  your old car.  You should be proud that rather than take out a loan to buy a new car to impress everyone, that you chose to drive your old car, that still works and be financially responsible and a good steward of God's money!  I am proud that I drive an old car.

It will get easier soon, whether your husband comes or not, when you daughter starts walking and she can just hold your hand.

Kudos for continuing to go to church even when it is hard.

[corbysmom531]

Mar. 24, 2009 at 1:57 PM

I'm still praying for you!  I can't imagine the hardships you and other "single" moms go through.  I say "single" because when it comes to church, you are single, your dh isn't there to help, and I know a lot of women in your situation feel that way.  Just keep on keepin on, and I believe you'll get a special crown in heaven for this.