Custody

[tracey2327]

So I'm in a position now that I've never been in before. I am about to be a stepmom, and she is a great little girl, but her mother is just ridiculous to deal with. For 7 years it's been a never ending battle. Now he doesn't want to take her from her mom, but she hasn't followed the visitation for 7 years, and has thrown the most ridiculous things at him to keep them apart. The poor girl has to ask PERMISSION to call her dad! He is fighting her with all he can right now, and there's no doubt that emotionally and mentally she would be better off here with us and not her mom. He's thinking about going for custody, and she's 10. She is two different people, with us she's happy and joyful all the time, and when she leaves she goes into this depression. She acts mean sometimes when she's with her mom, and seems to always have something wrong at home (allergies, asthma, etc) that we've NEVER seen when she's with us. Her mom is a hypochondriac, and always thinks there's something wrong, and we think she's teaching her daughter to be the same way. If you were in this position, would you encourage him to go for custody, or just for his visitation until she's old enough to decide for herself? In NC the deciding age is 13, and we know that as happy as she is with us, it would have negative consequences if she came here now, she wants to live with her mom she says, but she never wants to leave her when she has to. Her entire visit she treats me like her mom, until she's with her mom, and then she acts almost guilty to feel the way she does about me. Like she's not allowed to have 2 moms...how do I handle this??

[MSugarKane]

Mar. 19, 2009 at 10:52 AM

I feel for the child being torn between her mom and dad. The little girl will always have unconditional love for her mom and will always stand up for her mom no matter what the circumstances.

Basically when you have her you can instill your morals and love with her. Its extremely difficult to get full custody away from a mom in any state.  Its not worth the money for all the lawyers and court costs when in the end most likely you won't get custody. 

 

[tracey2327]

Mar. 19, 2009 at 8:36 PM

The problem is her mom won't be satisfied until she has her way COMPLETELY. Just this last week we've been fighting her becase she doesn't want to meet halfway between here and there, and it's a 4 hour drive one way. She just doesn't want to give an inch, and says if "he" makes her go to court, she'll have him ending up paying her legal fees. She wants what she wants and doesn't ever want to give. She's by far the most selfish person I've ever met!

(Original Poster)