A tantrum is sending my son to the psychologist?!?!

[LelandsMommy]

Yesterday was supposed to be Leland's 3 year well-child check-up at the doctor. We got to the doctor office about 10 min. before our appt time, and then had to wait nearly an hour past our appt time before they called my son back. For a pediatrician's office their waiting room is FAR from kid friendly! There were no toys or books, just adult magazines. To say the least, it was not a pleasant wait.

When they called us back, Leland had already been complaining that he wanted to leave, that he was bored (who could blame him?). Well the first thing the nurse asked was for Leland to step on the scale... he refused. Both the nurse and I tried talking him into it- taking turns stepping on the scale ourselves to show him it was okay- but the harder we tried the fussier he got and the more he refused. So the nurse decided to come back to the scale later, and get his vitals instead. That caused all he** to break loose. A full-on 3 year old TANTRUM! He was screaming and wiggling out of my hold, trying to run out of the room, stomping his feet, and pushing the nurses hand away whenever she came near him with the stethoscope or thermometer. It was a tantrum... yes, it was terrible, especially to have at the doctor office... but it was just a tantrum... not even the worst he's ever had!!!!

Eventually our nurse brought in another nurse, who apparently (according to our nurse) had years of experience working with children... and guess what? This nurse was able to get Leland to calm right down! She brought out some toys, and made a make shift balloon out of a latex glove... she was a sweetheart, and so kind an patient with Leland. Why they didn't bring her in BEFORE the tantrum, I'll never understand!... Anyway, Leland was calm, but still refused to go on the scale, so the nurse asked me if I would like to reschedule for another day. I told her that was fine, Leland was probably just tired (this was about 4pm and he hadn't had a nap), but I told her I did want to speak to the doctor about what to do about his tantrums (how to handle them) and also his diet (that part needs a whole other post). The nurse went back to (I assume) talk to the doctor, and comes back and tells me that our pediatrician does not deal with ANY behavioral problems... not even just to talk about them.

I may be wrong, but I thought that your child's pediatrician was the go-to person for all childhood issues like that. I mean, yeah, send us to a specialist if need be (though I really don't think Leland needs all that), but at lease talk me through my options first.... and find out if it's not some other medical problem ( like I said, he's not eating right)... But whatever, I was a bit more than frazzled at this point anyway. So I set up an appt for the following Wed at an earlier time.

Now here comes the kicker (and the point of this post)...

I get to the car, get everyone buckled, and I get a call from the doctor office. I'm told that my doctor canceled our appt. for next week, and "won't see Leland again until he has been evaluated by a psychologist".... A PSYCHOLOGIST?!!!!!!?!!!!!! Are you kidding me?!? For a tantrum? Even the nurses said they were surprised because my son NEVER acts this way at the doctor, so it's not like an all the time thing... just a one time tantrum because he was bored and tired.

Does anyone else think this is going a little too far? My son can't be seen by his doctor again until I get him evaluated... just seems crazy to me!

[autiemommy2]

Mar. 19, 2009 at 3:10 PM

that seems extreme... maybe it's time to find a different pediatrician. we've seen a dozen or so, and they all deal with the basics of all things child/childhood related. and they are more than happy to send referrals for specialists for any problem/concern (whether we ask or they recommend). good luck with all that.

and honestly, what doctor is dumb enough to think that after an hour plus of waiting, that a child wouldn't be frustrated!?! and why were there no toys?? this docs a quack! I say find someone new.

[twinsplus2more]

Mar. 19, 2009 at 3:16 PM

Our peds. office has no toys.  Everyone knows to bring something in with them.  Waiting an hour beyond an appoinment time is inexcusable.  Seeing a psychologist (hopefully they are talking about a child psy.) for behavior problems - temper tantrums are considered behavior problems - is not completely out of line, but refusing to see a child til after seeing a psychologist is out of line.

I've personally raised 4 children through toddlerhood and now into and 1/2 out of puberty and not had any of my children have temper tantrums. So I can't help you there, but if you did ask for help in handling his temper tantrums and having you see a psychologist may be how this peds. office does that.

Good luck with everything.

[heartsandskulls]

Mar. 19, 2009 at 3:37 PM

i think the doctors office is taking that a little too far. seems to me like he was being a normal 3 yr old boy who had been bored becuase he had to wait forever to get seen and with no nap its horrible. And i dont know why your pedi would say they 'dont disucss behavorial issues' i think thats a load of bs and your childs pedi should be the first person you go to when you have a question or an issue with the way your child is behaving.

keep us updated about what happens when you go back to your pedi!!

 

[Brooke208]

Mar. 19, 2009 at 3:46 PM

I don't know, my son will be 3 in two months and he's never acted like that.  You asked to speak about his tantrum issues, so maybe that's why they did it?  It does seem overboard, but I would just see a psychologist and then find a different pedi. 

[dlgould4]

Mar. 19, 2009 at 4:00 PM

It was unexcusable what happened at the office.  They should have informed you they were running behind and gave you the option to reschedule.  The only time I had to go thru the waiting game is when my children were seen on base at our previous location.  As for the pysc eval issue, if he was older I would say it might be good to look into it but b/c of his age, that does seem a little overboard.  I would definitely switch pediatricians.  You need someone who looks at the patient as a whole, mind and body.

[Nascarmom]

Mar. 19, 2009 at 4:01 PM

They don't have toys because parents with sick kids don't keeps their kids away and it spreads germs. But I don't see why he would won't him seen by someone first and you should defintily look into someone else when we were there we went to Jax pediatric assoiciates they were great and have weekend and late night hours. plus they have three offices so it is easy to get a last minute appointment.

[Jessigrl26]

Mar. 19, 2009 at 4:03 PM

The wait alone is crazy!  Also he needs a referral to go to a specialist dr.  Another thing Rilee never likes her vitals to be checked and shes a little brat sometimes and they have NEVER brought up a damn thing about behavioral problems, not over a tantrum.  You need a new pediatrician.  I wouldnt take Leland to a psychologist until you get another dr's opinion and Im sure when you tell another dr what his dr did and the whole situation they will disagree.  If they agree with the dr (which they wont or at least the situation and the way your dr handled it) then go ahead and take leland to a specialist.  Id get a second opinion or at least someone who is understanding and will hear out YOUR concerns.

[isabellalecour]

Mar. 19, 2009 at 5:04 PM

I agree with all the PP's. The wait time was unreasonable and for a three year old to handle an hour wait without toys and a nap is extreme. I'm betting the doc is interested in covering his a@@ in this just because you mentioned wanting to speak to him about behaviour and nutrition. I hope you didn't have to pay for a visit they refused and then canceled on you.

[Allana]

Mar. 19, 2009 at 5:12 PM

It may seem crazy, but I would put money they are thinking autism(prone to huge meltdowns, but they happen as soon as you leave a familiar surrounding, not after a long wait in a boring office), and the Ped. doesn't want to be the one to do the diagnosis.

[OkieGirlKatrina]

Mar. 19, 2009 at 5:40 PM

I think its time to find a new doctor!!  One that is maybe more kid friendly........  Thats just crazy!!