Ok i need to be more positive..any suggestions?

[Lanie_momofone]

Ok warning this will probably be long...please be patient!

I live with my daughter, my SO of almost 6 yrs does NOT live with me but he is here ALOT. Well, he has this one cousin we will just call her H, now 95% of the time that H has been around me and SO, me and the SO end up bickering at eachother for something or other, now the reason why is ..he changes when he is around other people!

So of course this is going to look bad on me, i know this. And its not only his cousin that these things happen with, it happens with his friends as well. I always look like the bad guy because i am not about to put up with his mood change when we are around his friends!

So....H is moving down to our city, she needed a place to live i talked to my superintendant and asked if there was a vacancy and i gave H a really good reference as well. As it turns out she is getting the apartment right next to mine.

so anyhow today, H texts the SO and asks if HE wants to get together with her, and her SO and their baby to go to Zellers. I wasnt invited nor was our daughter.

Now before i go further, i understand that its HIS cousin i totally get that, but this isnt the first time this has happend, it is like this now with his friends. I am no longer invited anywhere if its a adults night out, i only seem to be invited if its a "family get together" with his friends.

I hate the feeling that i am not liked! I dont like the fact that they dont like me all because it seems me and the SO dont get along! But we do,.....if we didnt get along we wouldnt be going on our 6th year together

It just sucks that he has to change his attitude around people, and yes ive talked to him about it , but he doesnt see it . I mean he is getting better at it, but its still ruining how people look at me.

I dont know, perhaps i am being selfish about me and my daughter not getting invited today..maybe i am looking too much into it, im trying to be positive i am.....its hard though.

Does anyone have any advice??

P.S. Just now with me NOT dressed and my daughter naked from getting out of the bath, he asks me if i wanted him to tell her he cant go, i said nope... i just didnt understand why she only invited HIM out and not all of us..he says..."oh she probably meant all of us" im like..then why in the heck take it as she only meant YOU??? Yea he left, now im livid.

[workinit]

Mar. 25, 2009 at 10:21 AM

In the past I have definitely ended relationships over this.  It's not that you just don't like how he acts but how he makes you act.  If you don't like who you are becoming with him then I would think about whether postiives in the relationship outweigh the way you feel about yourself.  Before you make any final decision I would bring it up one more time like that.  I would ask him to ask his friends to include you guys more and not to push your buttons in front of people.  If he can treat you well and get along with you in private then he should be able to extend that consideration in public.  I hope this helps a bit.

[curlykit]

Mar. 26, 2009 at 9:28 AM

Have you tried inviting them over or out somewhere? If they don't show, then you could probably take it as a personal thing. If people like you, they'll show up even if it seems awkward, even if it's just to not be rude. If they don't, they will find a way to show up. Don't stop at one invite...it may just be a bad date for them. Try it as an adult thing since that's what you're feeling slighted over.

*PS...put some color in this journal!