Morticia

[gothmomx10]

12 years ago I lost 10 cats in a house fire.  I was devestated because they were my children; no human babies then.  Seeing me sinking into depression my friend forced 2 kittens on me knowing I would love them and force myself to live through the pain.

11 months later those 2 had 5 kittens of their own.  Angelique was a "teen mom" kitty and wasn't sure what to do so I helped her, cutting the kittens cords while she nursed and cleaned them.  The middle kitten was born in the sac.  I had to break it open, rub her with a warm cloth to get her breathing, and cut her cord.  The next morning, when I was sexing the kittens, she hissed at me.  That was the begining of my relationship with Morticia.

I found homes for 3 kittens and kept 2.  Quentin, the only boy, had odd eyes; one blue one green.  Tish's nature was so angry and hateful that I knew no one would love her like I would.  I alone could understand her.

Fast forward 5 years and feline herpes took Quentin from me.  I fought hard to keep Morticia alive, forcing her to eat and take water.  A couple of years later she had an ear hematoma causing the ear to fold down.  She was still my Tish Tish.  Growling and hissing in protest at the meds that she had to take.

January 26, 2009 she developed an upper respitory infection, double ear infection, and corneal ulcer.  I fought for almost the last 2 months to save her eye.  It was almost healed, after weekly check ups, and I was feeling good about her recovery.  Last Tuesday her inner lid came down.  Not a good sign.  I got her to the vet the next day and the vet that saw her (not my regular vet) said it was just conjunctivitis.  The next day, in spite of meds, the eye looked worse.  She had also gone blind in her other eye.  My Tish could not see at all.  That night she started walking funny and not from the blindness.

Friday morning I made the 40 mile drive at 6:45am to see my original vet.  When she looked at her eye and said, "Something much more is going on than an ulcer.  I don't even want to tel you what I think it is."  I said, "It's a tumor isn't it?"  She said, "I think so.  Her eye is being pushed out from behind and I can't push it back in."

She gave me option of waiting a few days to make my decision but that would have been too long.  Tish may have not been herself then.  I told them that we had to do this now.  The vet picked her up and she hissed and growled her loudest.  I knew she was still Tish.  They got her ready.  The vet had asked if I wanted to be with her and I almost said no.  I NEEDED to be with her!

When they brought her back in she was still growling.  The vet tech that had tried to save her brother came in to be with me at my request.  They put her on the table and she pressed up against me.  I put my arms around her and held her close.  I told her how much I love her and how beautiful she is, that I would always take care of her. The vet tech held me while I held her.  My vet told me when she was gone and they both hugged me while I cried.

I was there when she was born to help her live and I was there when she needed me to help her die.  I have a hole in my soul now that will never completely heal.  My baby girl is gone and I will miss her forever.  Thanks to the Montrose Vet Clinic for the people and the care they always give animals.

Good-bye my sweet Kiss-Kiss, my beautiful baby girl.  Mama will always love you.

[Becky45344]

Mar. 24, 2009 at 9:24 AM

Iam so sorry hun, I hope time will heal your wounds.