It hurts.

[tazzygurl611]

I know this may sound bizarre to alot of women who may not be part of the military life. It may sound bizarre to those that are married to the military too.

It hurts when he calls.

Yes, I am grateful.

Yes I am happy he is safe and in sound mind.

Yes I am happy he tells me he loves us and misses us and wants to come home.

But everytime he calls it is another reminder that he isn't coming home for a while. It hurts to know that it isn't just another day at work. Its a year long seperation not by choice. Hearing him with a 5 sec delay and then having him leave to tend to an emergency only makes my fears surface.

He calls in the morning almost every other day. Yes, I know I should count my blessings but it brings the reality to the forefront.

I cope by being in denial. I cope by thinking he is just off in training and not off to war. When he calls my auto pilot gets turned off. I stop being in denial and have to face the true emotions of war.


Lets pray he never stops calling....

 

[1happymama07]

Mar. 25, 2009 at 1:07 PM

I know it hurts... but you can't deal with him being gone by being in denial... God forbid something does happen and you can't bring yourself to reality and know that he isn't coming home...

Be very thankful that he does call :) Be thankful that you're even close enough to home where it doesn't cost you $1000+ per person to get a flight to see the closest family member you've got.

It will be ok, he'll be home. Just keep yourself busy and when he does call just tell him about your day(s) and listen to his. I know the delay sucks big time, but it's something we as military wives have to deal with.

I just went through a deployment so if you need anything just let me know :)

[courtcecil]

Mar. 25, 2009 at 1:08 PM

my dh is deployed too - i completely understand.  i am sorry... it stinks.  i feel the same way and get overwhelmed by guilt when the kids cry, i miss a call or if the conversation is nothing but "happy". 

Your dh is a hero and thank you for your sacrifices... Here's to time going by faster and a safe journey home!

[wheatmeatchips]

Mar. 25, 2009 at 1:27 PM

I know how you feel. I love hearing his voice but I hate knowing that I won't feel his touch for at least a year. It hurts when he says he has to go and it will be a couple days before I hear from him. The worst part is I need him more than ever now and I can't have him. :(

[babyhendrix11]

Mar. 25, 2009 at 2:05 PM

When my hubby left for basic training&tech school our baby was 3 days old..I was all to pieces.My way with coping with my hubby being gone is I become a total hermit..I don't talk to anyone..I don't answer calls..or return them.I dont answer messages or return them..its really bad.My hubby is about to deploy too so I know i'm going to be like that for a while.

everytime he called when he was gone I'd cry the whole time.My hubby wont be deployed near as long as yours,but I can relate in some perspectives.

Time will heal all wounds..Promise

Stay strong,as most army wives are...I look up to yall so much for being the strongest wives!

[mommy2bnl]

Mar. 25, 2009 at 9:20 PM

I hope to start seeing you at PWOC I think it will help you cope with your sadness.  When hubby was deployed twice I had friends in the same situation so we stayed together and kept busy.  It can be tough but we are army wives, it makes us stronger!

[KelsJez]

Mar. 27, 2009 at 7:40 PM

Hey darling. It will get easier. I promise. It's hard to have them home and then POOF. They're gone. It's like quitting smoking cold turkey. You're addicted to them and then you go through major withdrawal. But, as time passes, it gets easier and easier. Just surround yourself with friends (like me :), until you get sick of me..haha) and what you love. Jas will help pass the time because of her milestones. It sucks that he'll be gone for some of them, but hell, at least you don't have to potty train on your own like I do! Haha. And remember, I'm always here for you if you need to talk. We can lean on eachother.