Midlife Insanity

[rojastarr]

I am not sure if anyone out there is feeling quite like I do but I thought I would put my feelings on paper (or on my online journal).

The alarm goes off and I hit the snooze button at least 3 times. I roll over, fall on the floor and drag myself to the shower. I am clean but my eyelids remain at half mast and my brain is fuzzy. I rummage thru my pile of clean laundry (no energy to actually fold and put them away) and find a semi presentable outfit to wear to work. I swear a couple of times while trying to find those dang keys to the car....I know I always put them in the same place (don't I?) Memory is not quite what it used to be. I am off to work.

In the first hour I drink a pot of coffee....hmmmm my eyes remain heavy and my step slow...did I forget to mention my brain is still not functioning? By now I have to solve at least 50 crises, pass a gadzillion meds and educate the patients and update the doctor and therapist who can come in at 9 am. I now start on coffee pot #2. By now my irritation level has risen considerably and I warn all those in my immediate vicinity that I am potentially homicidal and no one had better irritate me....they have been warned and the consequences of upsetting me could be life threatening. My boss decides to visit and casually mentions that I seem a little bit edgy...is anything wrong? Since she was not there for the warning I let her live. I say no...what possibly could be wrong, all my coworkers are incompetent, the doctor is a bitch and should look for employment elsewhere and every patient on the floor has issues (mind you I do work on a psych unit). After 12 1/2 hours of this I finally head home. I swallow an energy shot so I don't fall asleep on the way home. Dying would leave my children in the hands of my incompetent husband. I get home only to find the house a wreck, the children are still not fed or bathed and my husband asleep on the couch. Since I did not give the warning about my homicidal thoughts I have to let them live also. I throw something together quickly and throw it at them. Tell the girls to get in the shower and slam a few dishes while loading the dishwasher. By now I have no desire to talk to anyone so I slink off to bed thinking I have to repeat all the above again tomorrow. Maybe I could divorce the husband, sell the kids to a wandering band of gypsies, quit my job and head off to a deserted island where they drop load all the fixings for endless margaritas and my favorite novels. Hmmmmm....maybe it is time to talk to my MD and get a prescription for Prozac or Premarin....I am sure that there are some other ladies heading for the great 50 who can empathize with me.

 

[mars33me]

Mar. 28, 2009 at 11:59 AM

I empathize greatly... hang in there, it appears the dementia we get in old age might be a great reprieve!!

By the way, my dr prescribed Prozac for me just this past wednesday..

[Cactus.Flower]

Mar. 28, 2009 at 7:28 PM

Oh Robin, don't blame it all on aging, especially you, you are aging beautifully:) You know what i am talking about, the husband there..you know, you know, you just have to big of a load on your shoulders, to big of a load for anyone that would be, anyway, you know i keep you dearly in my heart, i hope the help from your daughter will work out...but i do think it is time for a serious talk with the man of the house....

[zi-bohemian]

Apr. 1, 2009 at 10:17 AM

Well if we are similar ages ( I thought we were)... Prozac won't help that.

Are you sweating at night?

 

[rojastarr]

Apr. 1, 2009 at 9:01 PM

No night sweats....basically severe PMDD....Prozac is one of the recommended treatments...A coworker went on it who had almost identical symptoms and she felt much better and is functional again....now mind you all....this is not a constant state of being....I have at least one good week a month and I am not totally crazed....I do have my moments tho....I think the worst is the bone numbing exhaution....

(Original Poster)