WHY??

[forRobyn]

Why, if you have nothing nice to say, do you still think you must say something??  This is not directed to any one specific person, but to all the people who it seems feel they have to give their 2 cents on every topic, no matter what.  It seems I so often read posts on here where at least one comment is negative.  Why does any person feel they need to be rude, demeaning, or hateful to another person?  I was always taught and live by the adage, "treat others as you want to be treated".  I know I do not want to be treated rudely or in a hateful manner, therefore, I do not treat others this way.  Do I disagree with people, of course, but I find it quite easy to disagree with someone without demeaning them.  I was once taught the word ASSERTIVE as meaning this ~ YOU COUNT AND I COUNT.  We BOTH COUNT.  We may disagree on everything, but what each of us thinks matters.  Neither one of us is more important, knows more, is better than, etc. the other.  We are equal.  In being equal I am going to treat you with respect.  I am going to read/hear your side of things and then I will do one of two things.  I will agree with you or disagree with you.  Either way I feel, one thing will be the same, I will respect you and show you that respect.  If I agree with you chances are I will speak up/write.  If I disagree with you I will most likely not say anything because most of the time the fact that I disagree with you is not the point you are trying to make.  If there is a circumstance where it is relevant for me to state an opinion, and my opinion is different from yours, I will respectively disagree.  I will be assertive in the way I know the word...you will count and I will count.  I will not berate you for your opinion or way of thinking.  In fact, there are many cases where an opposing view gives me something new to think about and I will let you know that.  I am always interested in finding new ways to look at or think about things.  There have been times when hearing what someone has to say about something has actually caused me to change my mind.  My mind is not set in stone, I am always wanting to learn and change and grow.  I hope one of these days my learning, changing, and growing will help me understand why some people seem intent on being rude, hateful, and demeaning to so many others.  At this point in my life I do not understand this intent.  I do understand one very important thing about myself ~ If I ever treat others different than I treat myself it is because I treat myself worse than others treat me.  I can be the worst enemy to myself.  In my ever constant learning, changing, and growing I hope that I can treat myself as I treat others.  I would much rather have to work on treating myself well than treating others well.  I know how I treat others and so I have a picture to go by on how to treat myself.  It seems the more I treat others with respect, the more I treat myself with respect.  Pretty awesome how that works!

[Ginny19]

Mar. 28, 2009 at 11:04 PM

Oh, I so agree with you on this!  But, trying to understand why others can be judgemental or critical isn't even important.  Most likely you won't find that answer.  All you can do is pray for them.  Have compassion for them.  And, hope that somewhere sometime they will gain the insight you have.

This is just a speculative hunch, but I think sometimes, when others are disrespectful and rude, it's because they are suffering in some way themselves.  Those are the ones who need our kindness the most. 

It's very sad when people feel that only their way is the right way.  I've learned that there is no right or wrong.  It just "IS".  It is what it is. 

Be grateful that you are the wonderful person you are!

I love you ♥