No More Toys! Please! (opinions)

[NorahSethsMommy]

 Doug and I are trying to really move towards are more self-sustaining and simpler lifestyle and my kids already have so many toys that, even with giving a bunch away, they still have things that they rarely play with. It is just too much clutter and too much stuff that really does them no good intellectually either.

So...with Seth's 3rd birthday coming up in a couple weeks, we are thinking of approaching Doug's family with a "please no toys" request. Now, we are not saying they can't get him anything fun. We are all for musical instruments, books, puzzles...we are even thinking along the lines of kid's gardening tools (he loves to dig in the dirt and water the plants outside) or bug catcher sets, ant farms, even balls and outdoor toys...things that will be fun but also give some kind of intelligent stimulation.

The question is, how do I approach Doug's family about this? As you know, they already think of me as sort of 'the black sheep' (for lack of a better description) so I am sure nothing I say is going to make them love the idea, but how do I make them see the benefits of this and that we (myself AND Doug...both) are serious about it?

What do you think? Any suggestions?

EDIT: I should add that MIL has a quarterly birthday party and anyone who's bday is in that "season" get celebrated. It is often in conjunction with some other reason to get together...like a holiday (as we rarely see them any other time...except MIL). When they do this anyone under 21 gets a gift from each family and anyone over 21 gets a card. So...we are not really having a party for him (he wants to go to Chuck E Cheese and we'll do that but just the four of us).

[forRobyn]

Mar. 28, 2009 at 11:50 PM

How about approaching it more as "this is what Seth wants..." kind of thing?  My daughter LOVES receiving books as gifts.  She reads her books, well we read them to her, way more than she plays with any of her toys. 

[theyareallmine]

Mar. 28, 2009 at 11:55 PM

I agree with the PP....make it out to be a "Seth was really wanting a..." kind of thing. Hopefully that will help and they will wnat to do it because they think it is something he asked for.

[NorahSethsMommy]

Mar. 28, 2009 at 11:59 PM

Not a bad idea. Sadly they never ask what the kids want, but maybe I can just let them know somehow that seems tactful.

(Original Poster)

[theyareallmine]

Mar. 29, 2009 at 12:04 AM

maybe you could do it sort of like "hey...Seth's birthday is coming up and I don't know if you are looking for ideas, but I thought I would let you know that he has been really wanting a _________ bad!! He gets so excited when he sees one or we talk about it." Or something along those lines.

[aurorabunny]

Mar. 29, 2009 at 12:11 AM

Before we moved into our new house, we lived in a 1000 sq. ft home and our son had enough toys for 5 kids.  At his last b-day I put on the invitations "No gifts PLEASE, Your presence is present enough" but also added that if they just HAD to buy something or already had bought something we would love it if they donated it to a childrens hospital or a homeless shelter.

They all ignored me and brought him tons of toys anyways.  *sigh*  What are ya gonna do?  But I tried.  It might be worth a shot.

[Midnite00]

Mar. 29, 2009 at 12:55 AM

Aurorabunny sounds like me!  I asked no toys and still got a ton.. Plus she didn't want barbie stuff anymore because it would break in less than a month.  We would find cool things to make to replace it and she wanted to do that... make most of the barbie stuff, but still she got so much barbie stuff she cried!!!!!!

[Lb128f]

Mar. 29, 2009 at 1:01 AM

Good Luck! If anyone has already purchased a gift I guess they won't be too happy to hear this ;-) but, I absolutely agree (with the PP's) that if you tell them this is what Seth wants they will be happy to help out. And...if he happens to get a toy or two..then maybe Birthdays could be the time for him to get toys and all other holidays you (his parents) could give him toys that have some educational value? Life is short...you are only a "kid" once ;-) there could be worse things than getting too many toys! Maybe too you could encourage Seth to "share" a toy for every toy he gets (at least that way you wouldn't be adding to the toys) and he could enjoy the good feeling of giving to others. Do 3 year oldsfeel that when they have to give a toy up? LOL, I know mine didn't! Ehh, just a suggestion! I think YOUR ideas for presents are GREAT though and ANY of them I am sure he will be happy with and enjoy!

[Lb128f]

Mar. 29, 2009 at 1:05 AM

Mar. 28, 2009 at 11:59 PM

Not a bad idea. Sadly they never ask what the kids want, but maybe I can just let them know somehow that seems tactful. NorahSethsMommy (Original Poster)

Would a Birthday "wish list" FROM Seth (with YOUR ideas on it) work? I wouldn't be offended by this...I'd rather buy something someone wants (especially a child) than not...but, IDK some people may not like it???

 

[NorahSethsMommy]

Mar. 29, 2009 at 1:21 AM

That is a good idea Linda. I doubt anyone has bought a gift yet.

Fortuantely my kids both enjoy giving their toys to kids who have less than them. We do a big toy clean out about twice a year and they never protest and both enjoy doing it. I jsut dont want everyone spending money on something that is just going to be given away in a couple months or played with for a week and forgotten about.

(Original Poster)

[Ginny19]

Mar. 29, 2009 at 2:12 AM

This brings back memories of when my kids were young.  But, back then, the toy choices were not like today.  Today there are so  many educational toys and books for kids. 

I always ask what I can get for my grandkids.  I cannot imagine anyone being offended by you letting them know what would be best.  But, I guess not everyone thinks the way I do.  I'd much rather get something someone can use or in the case of a child - something educational. 

IDK - I'm just babbling here.  Feel free to ignore me.  I think it's time for sleep.

Good luck!