The Less Galm Side of Motherhood

[ckmunson]

Tensions have been high at our house. The extreme lack of sleep and dealing with a baby that screams all the time has taken its toll. On Friday I called the docs office crying, the "wilfull child" explanation that I was given last month by the nurse practicioner just wasn't cutting it. My kid screams most all night, she is up no less than every two hours, and screams, not out of boredom, not out of being noisey, or feeling lonely - its pain. I'm her mom. I know, as I have heard it before, what the "I'm in pain!" cry sounds like. Now, I had emplored this statement to the nurse practicioner... I did explain that its not just needing mom, its not just teething, its pain. Anyone that would hear the child cry could hear that its not anything but the "I'm in pain!" cry. As I said, on Friday I had had enough and called the doctors office, and chose a time to call when Grace was screaming so loud I knew it would be hard to hear what they were saying on the other end. No more of this going to a room where you can hear crap for phone calls to the doctors office - the time for that was long gone!

The woman on the other end of the phone sounded as if she was in her 60's. She had a very grandmotherly tone. This was refreshing. (I had just changed clinics with Thea and Grace as their doctor was leaving to join another doctor in a new practice. Considering all the trauma Grace has had - it would be best for her to stay with the same doctor who knows her history. The other doctor is actually the doctor who Thad had. (So by switching clinics I am keeping care consistent for both kids over a 4 1/2 year time period.) I explained my situation, and the woman got Dr. Mary on the phone for me. I then explained to her that I took Grace in to see the NP at the old clinic because Dr. Mary hadn't yet started at the new and was no longer at the old..... and we were told she was a wilfull child. Dr. Mary asked me "Didn't she read the file?" As if I would know. She quickly followed up with "She has a profound history of gastric reflux! You always look at that first." Ok... granted this means that for the past 5 weeks Erick and I have been getting up every two hours with a baby who was miserable. But this also means that this was yet another 5 weeks where my kid has been in pain. Its sad to think how many months our daughter has lived this way. Its like 14 months of pain, and 4 months of feeling normal. It is a big deal. Why does my child have to vomit blood before someone says "Gee thats not normal?" and does something?

So Dr. Mary is setting up the Upper GI series again, swollow studies, and sleep apnea studies. When we go in later this week for a follow up we'll have all the dates for these things. Grace is back on the prevacid and has already had a change in behavior and attitude.... she is also eating food again. So things are looking up! It just really bothers me that we have to keep going through this, rather Grace has to keep going through this. I wonder if the reason she doesn't talk much is because of this? Can't concentrate on talking when her tummy hurts so much.

Grace does say new words though... not all of them are so great. She picked up a dandy from her daddy. Thankfully she is at the stage where when she talks only her mom and dad really can pick up on the words she is saying. One of the phrases she uses is one her Grandpa Bob used all the time. In a way its quite endearing. Completely NOT appropriate.... but endearing none the less. On the good list of words she uses (which is much much bigger than the bad list I should add) is : Mommy, Daddy, Neeenah, Tickens (chicken), bubbles, bath TUB, and of course popcicle. Not too shabby for 18 months.

So back to the high tensions.....Erick and I are crabby, mostly with eachother. Its dumb. We know we're crabby. We know we are exhausted. But we're still snippy to eachother. I am hoping that his long nap, and my trip to the spa will turn the rest of the day on the right note.