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I'm NOT raising my baby "the american way"!
- Apr 2, 2009 at 1:32 AM
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- Comments (11) Total Views (347) Everyone can see this journal post.
I feel so much pressure lately now that Anabelle is almost one, mostly on the way I parent. I live in a small, EXTREMELY close-minded town, and I honestly havent met one person in my area who has the same parenting style as me. Actually I know one woman who's close to it, but she lives over an hour away, in a greener town.
Anyways, my friends, and even some of my family think it's "irresponsible" to say the least that Anabelle still sleeps with me. They think I do it because i'm too lazy to get her to sleep on her own and too weak to let her cry it out. They also think that she'll be sleeping with me til she hits the sixth grade, well if she wants to she can, but I doubt she will be. But you see co-sleeping is a much smaller issue than the breastfeeding issue. Yes, I still nurse my eleven month old on cue. What's so wierd about that? She's MEANT to have breastmilk for a few years, and for at LEAST the first year. I just cant fathom why people are so appalled at the fact that i'm still breastfeeding and plan to continue for quite some time. My daughter is only eleven months old. Why is there so much pressure to force her to become independent before she's ready? Doesnt she need to learn to trust that I will always be here for her, no matter what, before she can feel confident enough to sleep, eat, and live on her own? Trust is an issue that takes time to build for any average person, and when a baby hasnt even been alive a quarter of the time we've been here, how can they have the ability so suddenly to be independent?
I just hate the way our society views parenting. The most commonly asked question I hear from other moms is, "is she sleeping through the night yet?", "well no," I reply, "she's only eleven months old, she still needs my reassurance a few times in the night." Then of course they gasp and boast about how their child was sleeping through the night at eight weeks but they "HAD" to let them cry it out because it was the "only way they would sleep". WhatEVER! Babies under six months dont even have sleeping problems, you imbecile!
Why is there so much pressure on these things, and i've only named two, dont even get me started. I even get crap for buying a convertible carseat so Anabelle can stay rearfacing until she's 35 pounds. People just dont understand, and just because their kid slept all night in their own crib at eight weeks they think their an amazing parent who knows everything. Hello, if they'd READ, or EDUCATE themselves, they'd know that their wrong. One time I told a girl who I went to high school with that i'm cloth diapering(she'd recently had a baby herself) and she said, "omg GROSS, I could NEVER do that".
Did I mention that I know three people who have had newborns in the past two months and their all formula feeding? Two of them didnt even try, the other one is doing both because it makes her more comfortable. UGHHHH!!!
I'm just starting to feel uncomfortable in the town I grew up in because i'm not doing everything like everyone else. People think i'm wierd, some people even go as far as thinking i'm a freak because I plan to nurse Anabelle for quite some time still. It's such a terrible feeling to be looked down upon when I know in my heart i'm doing the best things for my daughter. Cafemom is the only place i've ever met someone who nurse a child past two, and in my town i've only met two people who nursed for as long as two years. Literally everyone I know thinks that baby's SHOULD drink bottles or else SHOULD be weaned from the boob by a year. They think babies SHOULD sleep on their own, and cry it out if they dont want to. People disgust me!
I just have been needing to vent lately and I also need to reassure myself that it would be unnecessary to become a closet-nurser :( yes, i've seriously considered it. So there's my rant, my vent, my bitching and complaining, i'm pretty much done now though, i'm going to try REALLY hard to move on, forget about ignorant people, and continue to be a good mother.
Comments:
I second the hugs. You keep on doing what you know is right; and forget everyone else!
Ugh I know people laugh at me & think I'm being "too paranoid" when I tell them I'm keeping Cayden rear-facing until she's at least 2. It's not being paranoid! It's being smart! Look at the statistics! Ugh, well we can vent to each other anytime, & we do :) haha. love yaaa, stay strong!
Oh & also, when I was pregnant with Cayden all the other girls I knew my age told me breastfeeding was "gross" they never even tried to! Stupid teenage moms..they make all teenage moms look dumb when there's actually SMART ones LIKE US out there!! LOL
You're not alone! My baby was born jaundaced, always fell asleep at the breast after just a minute or two of feeding. First 3 months I had to pump in addition to feedings to keep supply up and to supplement her feedings till she got stronger. But we managed and I breastfed for more then 14 months and proud of it! Be proud of what you are doing for your baby too! Don't ever let anybody look down on you and tell you what to do. You and you alone know what is best for you and your child. Little town.. little people.. little minds. Get an IPod! :)
P.S. My baby is still riding rear-facing, and she is almost 19 months.
P.P.S. "Weirdos" unite! :))
I know how you feel. I got "super-lecture-yelled" at the other day for nursing my toddler in public by my uncle. But he is an ignorant, ghetto, dumbass. Don't mind what idiots tell you. They're just idiots until they can give you a LOGICAL reason to change what you're doing. Breast feeding is gross just doesn't cut it. I'm here for you =) We can bitch together.
Thanks for the support mamas. I need it sometimes, and it's such a comfort to know I can at LEAST come here and fit in :)
baby her how you wish spoil her how you wish you dont even have to explain why she still wakes up at night,i would just say "no she don't cause she has a super catering mom that is not bothered at all to stay up with her,i think nursing is for only the first year too but guess what WHO CARES what i think you do what you want and you love your kid and dont push the "grow up movement" she will do it at her pace,you sound caring and thats what babies want from their mama.
Welcome to the club. Everyday someone comments on whether or not I should breastfeed and co-sleep with a 2 yr old. He won't sleep with me forever. His 5 yr old brother has his own room and loves it. But I am not going to tell him to figure it out on is own and scream all night long. Oh well, I guess us 'helicopter moms' will never live up to their standards. LOL
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- Arisce
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