He is fighing me for custody?!?!?!

[SummerHolloway]

 

Finally after 4 and a half years I filed for custody of my son. So Monday was the day I turned in my paperwork. My son’s father knew it was coming, I called before hand to try to get him to come with me and sign everything… but he wouldn’t. He called me later to tell me he is countering for half custody of my son and he is not giving up without a fight…

So here is the background. “G” (my son’s bio) beat the crap out of me to the point the cops were taking pictures in 2006. I didn’t have to go to the doctor, but I had bruises on my body for 3 weeks afterward. I immediately moved out into my sister’s house. In 2007 I met a wonderful man (who is now my husband!) and moved in with him. That was in April 07. G told me since I found a new man, he was no longer responsible for my son and he was mad I filed for child support.

Since April 2007, G has seen my son a total of about 7 times, 4 of those with me there and the other 3 was for a couple of hours, I have received a total of $381 in child support (he owes me over $5500 at this point), and have made every decision for my child. My son refers to his bio by his name and my husband is Daddy (my son’s choice).

I am so frustrated that he is fighting me. If he gets half time (which I HIGHLY doubt) London’s (my son) life would be in an uproar. Even if all he gets is visitation, it will still be a HUGE change for my son. And London does not respond well to huge change. G is not a safe place for my son. He is violent (not only my situation, but was arrested 4 months ago for DV against his current GF and has had the cops called on him for the same issue at least 4 times in the last year), he is a drug user (of course I have NO proof but I have seen it and so has my son), he doesn’t have his own place, no job, a suspended license, and a car that has been totaled 2x in the last 6 months.

I am trying to raise my son to be a good man and a good person. He has not had the influence of his father at all in the last 2 years… I think the only reason G is even fighting is to get out of paying child support and to get back at me for leaving and doing better.

He is even having his family call to “see” my son! No one from that family has called in YEARS, even before I left him! Grrrr. So my plans to move closer to my husband who is in the military (going thru OCS and OBC) are on hold until this is dealt with, I am super stressed, and very worried for my son, who deserves better… I didn’t make a good decision having a child with him I know, but London is my world…

Positive energy appreciated! And any advice as well

[babymar]

Apr. 2, 2009 at 3:28 PM

oh summer i am so sorry... i went through a nasty custody battle over my 7 year old, so i know what that feels like... anytime you want to talk, vent or ask questions, i'm here... prayers and thoughts for you and london... one piece of advice... document, document, document... every phone call, visit, missed visit, $ paid, etc... it will all go to show his true character...

[SummerHolloway]

Apr. 2, 2009 at 4:37 PM

Thank you Marlee :) It is much appreciated. I am overwhelmed, plus Ty leaves in a month or so and I will be on my own!

(Original Poster)

[staynhomewith2]

Apr. 2, 2009 at 6:29 PM

So sorry to hear Summer! I know this is the last thing you need right now! I really hope the court/judge sees things as they are and decides it is best that "G" is not in your son's life! I know it is probably a long shot though...as I am sure you are too..sorry, just the way the courts seem to work. Not for the "victim" or "good guys." Sorry if I sound negative. I just know how it goes...Follow Marlee's advise though!! I wish I had more for you! I wish I could make the decision for them (the courts). Or maybe G will stop fighting and realize he is out of his league! ;) I will be praying for you and your family!

[mrsedge24]

Apr. 4, 2009 at 12:59 PM

Wow, what an ass.  I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this on top of everything else!  I hope that you can get the people making the decision to see that you moving with London and "G" having nothing to do with him is the best thing for everyone.  I'll definitely keep you guys in my thoughts :)

[mommyof035and6]

May. 26, 2009 at 11:01 PM

Hey Summer...I missed this 1 1/2 mo ago...(I suck I know LOL).  Hopefully things are working out on the custody thing...have you thought of offering to let him sign off completely and not pay child support???  Anyway, I hope things are going better :)

[SummerHolloway]

May. 28, 2009 at 11:49 PM

He wont sign anything unless it is 50/50 custody which I am not going to do. We have court on the 12th of July and it will be our first oppertunity to talk to a judge and hopefully that will knock some sense into him!!! I have prayed about it and given it to God. He has a plan and I need to follow it...

(Original Poster)