'adoption' and Our Bill Rights

JoesGirl's Journal

'adoption' and Our Bill Rights
Apr 3, 2009 at 12:33 AM
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- JoesGirl
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There have been nice little write ups of "Birth Mother Bill ofRights". I was on an adoption forum. Another natural mom started a thread asking what others would include if we could write a Birth Mother Bill of Rights.

Here was my reply of what our Moral Bill of Rights:

" am I allowed to write pipe dreams here?

Buy or sell a house lately? In real estate there are all kind of diclosures ... I think it would be great to have adoption disclosures to anyone considering adoption.

I think we should have a right to know how much money is changing hands - and where it is going.

I think we have a right to know about any legislative measures involving adoption issues that the agency or adoption professional is involved in.

I think we should have a right to know what information is provided to P-AP - does the study involve affects on natural parents? does the study involve how to identify when child is strugglling? does the study provide on-going support to aparents on how to raise the adopted chid with resources and knowledge of the adopted child's specific issues? does the study include how to parent an adopted child without pressuring the child to "feel grateful"? does the study provide ongoing support at teenage years and how to know when it is in child's best interest to meet/communicate w/ natural parent(s)? does the study help aparents realize that no amount of love from them will ever replace the child's need to feel loved by natural family? - that no amount of love will ever fill or erase the void the adopted child experiences?

I think we should have a right to FAIR UNBIASED counseling - as in counsel should NOT be provided by an Agency, ever- period.

I think we should have a right to dialogue with natural parents who've already lost a child - this dialogue should be uncensored. It should include natural parents who are 'content' with their decision - as well as the same number of women who regret their decision.

I think we should have a right to dialogue with adult adoptees - adoptees who grew up in a good family, as well as those who grew up in an abusive family. Adoptees who are not in denial, but would willingly share their pain being separated from their natural family.

I think we should have a right to dialog with those who are groping their way thru a reunion.

I think we should have a right to matter to someone. As our own individual and real person and human being. Not just matter because I'm carrying a child that they want to "rescue" - I'm referring to pro-lifer's who insist that adoption is saving lives, as well as adoption professionals who want to sell my baby. Those people don't really care about the mom, they care about the baby.

I think we should have a right to know that while abortion ends one life, adoption totally destroys two lives

I think we should have a right to accurate legal counsel.

I think we should have a right to a legal system that is not already slanted in favor of aparents.

I think we should have a right to sue the friggin suits off of people & agencies directly involved in coercive activity or unethical practices.

I think we should have a right to have adoption reversed. Especially in situations where the aparents change their mind or put the child up to be adopted out to someone else. Or situations where the child is removed from the home for neglect or any other activity where cps removes a child.

I think we should have a right to professional counseling that is aware of adoption issues and is adequately prepared to deal with them. Certified training on adoption issues, not this nonsense of self proclaimed counselors where in the end, their only 'experience' is knowing someone who adopted a child(ren).

I think we should have a right for society to REALIZE the sacredness of the mother/child bond.

I think we should have a right for society to SUPPORT e-Moms instead of all the pro-adoption talk, when they have no clue what it really does to natural parents and their babies.

I think we should have a right for society to only allow adoption when it is absolutely and undeniably necessary.

I think we should have a right to try parenting first.

I think we should have a right to the pregnancy time and birth experience without interference of ''pre birth matching".

I think we should have a right to keep our baby, and we should have the right for other people to realize it is OUR FAMILY, OUR BABY.

That's what I would start with, if I were to compile a Bill of Rights."