I just can't keep my mouth shut anymore

[Daemons_mommy]

 It's good to have convictions. Everyone has things that they stand for and believe in. Everyone has a cause or issue they support.

I see this on here a lot. However, what I don't understand is how someone can close off their mind so much that THEIR way is the ONLY way. Not everyone on this earth can fit into the little box you want to put everyone in.

What sparked this journal was actually another one. There was a comment about how moms should be staying home with their children. I made a comment on how single moms can't stay home. They need to make money to feed their children. The response back was that the single moms choose the wrong man and what I got out of it was it was their fault.

Yes they sometimes choose wrong. Sometimes they think a guy is great and then his true colors show through when they have a kid together. Does that make them less of a mom somehow? The single moms I know do their absolute best for their children.

So to the lady who made the comment if you come across this please let's hear your "rants about single mothers". Don't keep it to yourself. I would love to hear what you have to say.

I think this site is getting to me. Being pregnant I am having a hard time with some of the things I see and I need to speak out. I usually feel worse after but I do it anyway.

[koalagirl78]

Apr. 3, 2009 at 1:22 PM

Thats why i don't come on as much. I am sorry hon. Yes i choose the wrong guy oh well people make mistakes.. Hell people change. so who you thought you where with may not be who they end up being.  oh and don't forget all abusers start out that way.. so we just should see the flags on their heads right? people are ignorent. and not everyone who is with someone can still afford to stay home. I know what your saying. I just wish others would get it.

[teamquinn]

Apr. 3, 2009 at 1:33 PM

People make mistakes but that isn't the defining moment of their lives.  What defines a person is what they do afterwards. 

Also, there are a lot of reasons why a woman could be single.  Men do die, become disabled, leave the woman.

Did this woman also consider the fact that in some areas it is next to impossible to live on one income?  Or perhaps the wife is supporting the husband through school either for the first time or as a re-entry student.  There are way too many family dynamics to make blanket statements.

Now one thing I will say as far as working parents, the priority should be on doing what is best for your kids.  Your kids don't have to have the best of everything.  My husband used to work in daycare and he saw kids that were in daycare from 6am until 6pm.  Mom and dad were driving expensive SUV's and fancy cars.  The kids had every toy or game imaginable.   They weren't happy though, they didn't have time with mom or dad.  Our time and interest in their lives is the best gift we can give our kids.  Video games and toys will break, but the bonds we form with our kids never do.

[DevineMommie]

Apr. 3, 2009 at 1:38 PM

You have to take a lot of this with a grain of salt. 

Standing up for your convictions is one thing. It is quite another when your convictions cause you to lose compassion for others!   Anyone who believes life just works out perfect for everyone is delusional. 

My mother was a single mother. Not by choice, but due to my fathers sudden death at 26.  What else do you when your left to raise your child(ren) alone?   Food stamps, welfare, rely on family for everything?   That's better than working?!?

Like you said not everyone can stay at home single or not.  The best thing for your child is a roof over their head, food on the table, and a strong mother to look up to.   Your doing what is best for your child and appropriate in your situation.  Regardless of how you became a single mother doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is you chose to try to be a good one!

Don't give anyone the power to take that away from you with their stupid comments.

 

[Daemons_mommy]

Apr. 3, 2009 at 1:41 PM

Hey thanks ladies. I'm glad that other people feel the same way I do. DevineMommie you are 100% correct with your statement: "Standing up for your convictions is one thing. It is quite another when your convictions cause you to lose compassion for others!"  

(Original Poster)