My husband just left for Iraq...

[phillipsmommy]

Wow, so my husband has been in the Army Reserves for 7 years and has been fortunate enought to not have to go to Iraq.  We found out in February that he would be leaving for 12 months.  I am sure plenty of people have been through this, but he just left April 4th and I still feel completely lost and sad.  Of course, it doesn't help that I'm 15 weeks pregnant and have a 2 year old to chase around and I'm still working full time.  Everyone tells me that it'll get easier, but when?  Anyone have any tips on how to handle the stress?? Please help :(

[mama_of_2_boys]

Apr. 9, 2009 at 4:10 PM i thought he was going to Ga first then leaving for Iraq??? did he have to go straight there instead???

[CCRNMomof3]

Apr. 22, 2009 at 9:49 AM

Hi!  I am sorry to hear that you are sad and stressed out...My husband got deployed to Iraq nine months ago, he's actually done his 20 years in the military/reserves so a bit of a surprise! We have kids 2,4,6 years old....survival tips: 

The isolation is the hardest part....Get a good support network!  People really do want to help but don't know how.  Try to meet other moms in your area for playdates.  You can find this through local library, YMCA, playground...get out if the weather is nice!   Make sure you call or write your friends often, I actually include it on my to do list because I'm so wiped at the end of the day it's easy to just not talk to another grownup for days (joined Facebook, what a lifesaver!)  Have another friend over for dinner after your 2 year old goes to bed.  See your family or call them often.

What do you have for child help?  Get a good list together of babysitters now so that you won't be stuck when you have an emergency.  Also take advantage of one so you can get out once in a while or stay home and take care of all those repairs/chores that will mount up!

Take care of yourself.  Sleep, take walks, exercise when you can!  Pamper yourself (I got a subscription to Netflix to watch all the movies I've missed over the last 7 years!)

For you and him....staying connected is really hard sometimes. I write often even though it feels like I'm sending emails into a black hole because he can't write back much.  Think of a fun way to keep him in touch with your pregnancy - monthly belly pictures, etc.  We can't do online videoconferencing but perhaps you can.  Take videos of you and your child and burn DVD's for him.  My husband read books on video and sent them back with the video for the kids to read along.  

Be patient with yourself and your child...find a fun project to focus on.  Don't get down about the little things...feel victorious about the little things (I seeded/weeded/fertilized the lawn last week -pizza party time!)  You will be sad, esp with the hormones from pregnancy and sleep deprival.  Hang in there!