wonderful, beautiful, great days.

[jennyoh]

no sleep was had. i hate the spring, & the inability to white out the fleshy currently irrelevant parts of my brain. irrelevant as they are, i know they made me who i am. & i'd never do it differently, but there are some things so painful that it'd be nice to have that spotless mind.

it's amazing how much we/you/i never knew.

either way, b woke up after 2 hours of sleep to cuddle with ana & fill up her tummy full of breakfast, then daughter #1 awoke ready for cartoons & cheerios. the amazing, loving man he is let me sleep in. still functioning on 2 hours of sleep (me, probably about 5), we packed everyone into the car & went to the children's museum in new braunfels. we carried ana around, showing her everything while zelda played in the rocket ship & read books in the tent. it rained for exactly 1 minute, the very minute we ventured outside to the water play area. hours later we escaped without having to buy anything from the gift shop & headed home. i got the urge to swim before the rain & bk turned us around & headed to the wading pool at landa park. while he & ana sat in the car sleepily, z & i ran to the wading pool & jumped in. we swam in our clothes, dresses swirling in the clear water. i felt high aftewards. more literally, i felt amazing. happy. content. beautiful, soaking wet, dripping water on the car ride home. zelda was giggling & lovey until she fell asleep & bk & i held hands all the way home.

these feelings are stronger & more constant than i've ever felt in my life. it's a stunning, meaningful existence.

maybe i don't hate spring.